[lcarroll]

Just wondering if any of you seasoned moms could offer me some advice. My son has been home a year now and he is almost 5. We have had ongoing problems with pottying. When we first came home, I thought he was dry at night, but now isn't. The pediatrician says this is a sleep disorder and he will grow out of it, so I just bought pull ups and tried to roll with it. Now, we are having a problem in the daytime too. What's worse, is he lies about it. (DH picked him up yesterday and found out he was wet, but DS denied that he had wet his pants.. Ask as stupid question, I suppose...) I know he has the ability to stay dry and he has been tested for bladder infections so I don't know what the problem is. We have tried incentives, chastizement, bribery, and everything else we can think of. This is driving me crazy. I don't know what else to do. This is not our first child, though he is our only adopted child. None of our other kids did this! Any advice?

[kimy]

My son was almost 4 when he came home too.. He also wet the bed almost every night until he was almost 5... He is a very sound sleeper and if he has a lot to drink before bed I will still get him up to go potty before I go to bed.
He also had trouble staying dry sometimes in the daytime... I think it was because he just wouldn't take the time out to go.. He would also lie about it too.
Well, I just decided one day to just make him go potty every couple of hours if I knew he hadn't.. I always make him go before we go anywhere.
He has done very well with this a rarely wets himself anymore .
It just relived my stress to make him go more often.
If you can, maybe suggest that his teachers make him go more often too.
hope it helps,
Kim

[CurlysGirly]

I am by no means an expert but I have son in potty training and it has been a slow road (he has special needs and training will take time).

My guess for why he denying it is that he knows it is wrong and doesn't want to disappoint you. Something that has worked for us is a Potty Watch. I found it on eBay. You can set it to go off at 30, 60 or 90 minutes. It plays a tune when it is time to go and try. Half of my son's problem is taking break from what he is fixed on to go. This is a reminder to him to go.

I understand how frustrating it is!

[DPline]

My son would die if he knew I was posting this, but at age 9 he still does not stay dry at night. We have been to the doctor as recently as a few months ago and there is nothing medically wrong and the doctor is sure he will outgrow it. Eventually. When he is asleep you absolutely can not wake him, so the fact that his body can't wake him to tell me to go doesn't surprise me. And he definetly isn't the only boy in his grade with this issue. I know of several. And those are just the ones where I know the parents well enough to be discussing something like that so I am sure there are more.

My younger son (what is it with boys and peeing?!) who will be five in May often waits to long to go and just barely makes it. And we have had our fair share of accidents if I don't catch the 'potty dance' in time. Could it be that your son is just too distracted with what he is doing to notice he needs to go? I totally can't understand it, but that is sure what is up with my young son. Can you get into a regular pattern of having him go to the bathroom every hour, 2 hours, whatever you think is appropriate to stay ahead of the problem?

I would be curious what a child development expert would have to say about it, but I honestly don't believe my son understands the concept of lying yet. We haven't had that problem in the context of a potty accident as it totally flips him out when he has an accident, but I will ask him 'Did you hit your sister,' 'Did you break this?' or whatever knowing full well that he did, and he will flat out tell me 'no.' Not all the time, but it happens. We have discussed what lying is many times, but I don't think he really gets it. I don't remember my older son doing this, but I may just not remember. Most of my friends say their children outgrew this by age 5 or so. It may be that he is trying not to disappoint me as someone else mentioned, but I honestly think he just doesn't 'get' what lying is.

Not sure if any of that helped, but for whatever it is worth!

[mommytoEli]

no advice...just a hi, i haven't seen you around in a while.

[airstar98]

Maybe he was not allowed in his previous home to use the potty when he needed, maybe this is a habit that will need time to break

Maybe he is not comfortable with interrupting the class to go to the bathroom

Maybe he is afraid of getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom

Maybe he like other's said is a heavy sleeper and can not wake up or does not want to get up to go potty, you can put a night diaper on, but still work on changing the behavior, so he isn't dependent on the diaper, my sister's little boy did this to and when he stayed with me, I had him put on a pull up, he just was too tired to get up and go pee, and would just go in bed, he eventually outgrew it.

Also, lots of fluids in the day, but not too much before bed.

[lcarroll]

As I posted this last night, my husband discovered another fun thing. Apparently, DS had used the trashcan as a toilet and then had stuffed a box of kleenex in after it. The fun never ends...

[DPline]

As frustrating as it is, I know of other kids who have done that. The worst I know of is a friend's son who peed down the heat register in the floor. Luckly it didn't get all the way down into the furnace, but it was still quite a mess by the time she discovered it. So just when you think it couldnt' be any worse . . . . Kids are very creative!

Good luck!!

[lcarroll]

ok, I have to tell my DH that- it will make him feel better!

[annaguat]

Night dryness is something that children can not realy control. Also it seems like it is often heriditary. Some of my bio children had issues. One child well into the teens and so did one of their bio cousins. During the day time children will get distracted by play and often regress to wetting again. I just do not make that big a deal out of it and make sure they can help themselves as much as possible. I will also remind a child at play to take a potty break if they are having issues. It sounds like the wetting might have gotten to be a point of control and possibly have some attachment related issues as the child is lying. I had many lying problems with my slightly older adoptive children. One of them would urinate on other peoples things on purpose (carseats, beds, clothing). Maybe just take a step back and make the child as responsible for the day wetting by having them clean and change themselves but do not make a big deal about it. Soon enough their little friends will say something about it. As for the night wetting, maybe take your child to the bathroom at 11 pm or so and as soon as you wake up. This doesn't teach them to go but it will help reduce midnight changing of bedding. I found dispossable diapers and pull ups only seemed to agrevate the problem. I would definitley talk to your child's pediatrician. Anna

[mommytoEli]

also just adding onto the daytime dryness issues.....that as a kindergarten teacher, we had at least one accident a month....kids just got busy...and believe it or not, as a FIFTH grade teacher, there were still accidents throughout the year, and i ALWAYS let kids go!