[akasohappy]

I am serious. He will be 8 tomorrow and he still sleeps with me.
He has always had sleeping issues.
He ended up in my bed because he crawled out of his crib a few times before the age of 2.
He was too active and not a good enough sleeper for him to transition to toddler bed.
We did try.
I slept on a mattress in his room for awhile and finally got sick of it and moved, with him, to my own bed.
He was so active that I was afraid he would get up and I wouldn't know it.
I should have put a gate on his door after he fell asleep, but I didn't.
He will cry and carry on like he is being tortured if I make him "try" to go to bed by himself.
This has caused late bedtimes, frustration, etc.
I am sure you can imagine.
My DH works nights and is gone with the military often so we don't sleep together anyways, so that is not an issue.
Help! Are there any books for this kind of thing that you know of.
I hope I am not alone.

I KNOW THAT I AM DOING HIM A HUGE DISSERVICE BY LETTING HIM SLEEP WITH ME AND NOT LEARN THE SKILL OF FALLING ASLEEP ON HIS OWN.

[DPline]

We have gone through phases of this over the years with my now 9-year-old and he would still prefer to be in my room given the option. And DD hasn't slept in her room in over a year, but sleeps on DS's bottom bunk at least instead of my bed! How about starting with him in a sleeping bag on the floor? Then slowly working on transitioning him out of the room. My son is just too big to be in bed with DH and myself (and DD often arrives in the early morning) so sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag is a 'treat' from time to time.

The other thing would maybe be some kind of reward or bribe. With my son, when he was little, we would do a sticker chart and when he got X number of stickers for going to bed and staying in bed, he earned a trip to Toys R Us. Your son is probably too old for that, but maybe a new set of bedding? Redecorating his room with a theme? Something like that.

Good luck! I feel for you!

[BARBTFNJ]

bumping up....I have the same problem with my soon to be 8 year old daughter! I'm curious to see what everyone has to say!

[sld]

My 71/2 year old son would much prefer our bed to his room. We have now have the rule that on Sun night he can sleep with mommy and Frid with daddy other than that... it is his own bed. He hasnt minded too much..

[connorsmommy1999]

you know...many attachment parenting families have their kids sleep with them for a long time. I'm not sure I agree that it's such a "huge disservice" but I understand the anxiety of it.

it seems like you've been kind of going with the flow: HIS flow. Do you need to change now? is it becoming a problem? ---I mean aside from reading the posts on HERE that talk about how you need to teach your child to sleep on his own?? would you think it was a problem if NO ONE else's opinion was brought into it? or is it working for you and DS right now?

I firmly believe, and have many many AP parents in my *circle* who are agree, that at some point he's NOT going to want to be sleeping with mommy any more !
There are so many opinions/books/info etc that are for AND against co-sleeping. I think you should just honor whatever seems to work for you and your DS.

that being said, I have no idea what might help.

[connorsmommy1999]

oops, meant to add:

my DS was the same way. We didnt start out with the intention of co-sleeping, it happened out of desperation. We even start with him in his own bed and he ends up in our bed sometime during the night.

He's turning 9 next week and in the last two months has just decided that he'd rather be in his own bed each night. He just kind of decided on his own.

[letsgo]

I think it's not really a problem unless it's a problem for YOU. A lot of people feel like they are doing something wrong, but in my daughter's first grade class, over half the kids either sleep with their parents or end up with them.

Don't do anything for the sole reason that you think you "should". Or because you feel judged in any way. If YOU need a change, then by all means address it. My advice at that point is to start small and take baby steps toward the ultimate goal.

That being said, my niece slept with her mom until she was 9 or 10 and then just sort of gradually made the change herself when she was ready. Eventually they all move on. Personally, I'm all for giving them the peace and security of a good night's sleep and for LOTS of kids that involves not sleeping alone. Granted, I remember being put to bed in my own room when I was 5 or 6 and being PERTRIFIED to move a muscle, scared the bogey man would "get" me. I'm still not a sound sleeper.

Listen to your heart.

[Mariais5]

I want to say that you are not doing him a huge disservice, but I do know that at 8, you're thinking, will he be sleeping with me when he graduates from high school??!! ;-) Trust me, he won't.

We are co-sleepers, and our son was nearly 8 when he quit sleeping with us. I personally didn't have a problem with it, but he was getting big, and our bed was getting too crowded!

So, we asked him what it would take to get him in his own room.. He wanted a cat.. He didn't quit sleeping in our room right away, but he eventually was content to sleep with his sister. At about 9-10, he went to his own room. He is now 15 and quite normal.. No anxieties from sleeping with us, not afraid of the dark, no problems with being alone, he's not insecure, etc..

If you don't mind him sleeping with you, I wouldn't worry about it.. He'll move to his own room eventually, and you'll miss those cuddles.. I do.. But, if the time has come, try reasoning with him or bribery.. It worked for us.. ;-)

[Ms.Judi]

How funny that this come us today. My Mother just told there was a big article in the Kansas City Star newspaper just this morning about WHY children should sleep in their own beds. I told her I didn't care. I pu my DD to bed asleep in her bed and at some point during the night she wakes up and she goes to bed with me. I am a single parent and I love co-sleeping with her. She wakes up so happy and smiley in the morning. My pediatircian said that her sleeping with me was up to me but that she does need to learn to fall asleep on her own. I am just not ready to go there yet. Elaina is 2 and has been home for just over a year now. I LOVE MY CUDDLE TIME WITH HER EVERYNIGHT!! Just my 2 cents!!

[akasohappy]

It is not bothering me that he is sleeping with me, but I feel like he is going to grow up with sleep anxiety issues, scared of the dark, etc.
And there is always the opinion of family and friends.
He went to his BF birthday party and about 1a.m. called to come home and even if a friend sleeps over here he will start out in a sleeping bag on the floor with his friend and then when that person falls asleep he will head to my bed.
If I knew he would stop on his own that would be fine with me.
I slept with my younger sister and was always a chicken and it wasn't until I was a married adult that I am OK alone. My DH went nightshift so I had to just deal.
I guess that is what I am afraid of - he will turn into chicken little just like me.

[mommytoEli]

my brother didn't sleep in his own bed until he was 7. i remember my mom let him pick out all new bedding. i remember it helping, but it was still a lot of physcially putting him back in his own bed. he would crawl into bed with anyone...so even when my parents started locking him out, my sister and i would wake up to find him in our room. lol! good luck!

[dilgra]

This is what I am afraid of! Per my previous thread, DD is sleeping with us and to be honest, I love it most of the time. Right now I just wish she would fall asleep on her own because I am worried I will still be walking her to sleep when she is in the 3rd grade. However, I do keep thinking that the longer she sleeps with us, the harder it will be for her to sleep on her own.

I don't have any advice for you but I have come to the realization that we are definately not in the minority. There are so many parents that co-sleep with their children either full or part time without any adverse affects so I am sure our kiddos are going to turn out just fine. That said, if you find something that works, please post it! Best of luck to you