[dspakowsky]

No, this isn't a joke. I recently moved and today met my neighbor. Our backyards are very close, so it's inevitable we'll see each other often. Today she asked "can we come over and play?" I said sure.

Her boys are 4 and 2 1/2. My girls are almost 2 1/2 and 2. Her younger son was in his underwear and boots. The older one was dressed. When the older one neededm to go pee my girls followed him to the bathroom. I shooed them out, but my neighbor said "I'm fine with them being in there if you are" I made a silly coment about how they've never seen a boy naked. Then she said "my youngest is generally naked in the house, he hates clothes, I hope that's OK with you when you're over with your girls..."

I got to thinking... is it OK? I think that's a little young to press these issues. I understand if they see a boy getting his diaper changed or something, but I'm just not comfortable with this (playing together with him naked), even if it's in my presence (which it would be).

I'm not comfortable with it all, so I won't be going to her house. But that can become difficult.

What do you think? Is that normal?

Our kiddie pools are right by each other so I can only imagine what this summer will be like

[nurse_reedle]

Well, first I would clarify if she means naked-naked or underwear-naked. I would be ok with underwear-naked at that age for the most part....especially in a pool or something. For a kid that little, being in a diaper or undies is really not that different. If you are uncomfortable, you have 2 choices. Ask her to at least have shorts on the boys when your girls are over or not have them play over there.

[Tamiswaiting]

I tend to be quite...um...modest and they may tend to color my point of view, but I would not be OK with this either...

[dspakowsky]

She means naked. She said she can't even keep underwear on him...

[MamaS]

I agree with you, I would not be comfortable with total nakedness. If it is only a diaper, I could probably deal.
(She must have high heating bills if her house is warm enough to run around naked in winter!) Maybe this summer you can put up some kind of privacy fence between the kiddie pools. Tell her you are teaching your girls to be modest. It's never too young to start!

[Guatemomtobe]

I agree with you Daphne. I don't think it is appropriate. I think it is important to teach children at a young age to be modest. It is one thing to be naked in your own house around your own family but you have to teach children that it is not OK around other people.

How do children learn appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

That really floors me that a mother would think it OK to let her child run around naked with neighbor kids over.

Hold your ground on this one. Be up front with her that you are not comfortable with the "no clothes" around your girls.

Good luck,
Susan

[Mariais5]

While I tend to be pretty liberal in that area, I wouldn't be comfortable with my girls playing with naked boys.. At 2 1/2, Bryce is already noticing body parts, and would probably ask if she could play naked too.. I'd definitely ask if jr. could keep his underwear on when the girls are around.. :-)

[Michelle Smiles]

I don't know how I would feel about it...I tend to think it wouldn't bother me too much but it is easy to say that when it is hypothetical. But if you are uncomfortable with it, you are uncomfortable. Just tell your neighbor you don't want to answer the questions that it would bring up from your girls and let her know the boys are welcome to come over to play with clothes on in the future.

[kellum5]

I have a three year old boy and girl. I cant keep clothes on DS. Drives me nuts. He will wear his underwear but I constantly found him undressed. So I compromised. If we are home alone, he may wear his underwear and a pair of PJ bottoms. I think it is a comfort issue.
If we go anywhere or anyone comes over he understands that full clothing is needed and that does not inlude pj bottoms.
One time when he female cousin was over he took off his jeans. He was told immediately she would need to go home and he put them right back on.
We are pretty laid back but I think by this age boys and girls are recognizing differences and that should be considered.
Potty breaks are strictly for one person at a time. Even DD and female cousin do not go together. Cuts down on bathroom horsing around too.
I would feel uncomfrortable if my DD was watching a male in the bathroom.
JMHO.

[nannyisme2004]

Interesting neighbors you have. The naked boys wouldn't fly with me. My daughter has very itchy, eczema skin. When we are home she runs around in her underwear a lot or she wears pjs. She knows that if we are going somewhere or a friend is coming over to play the clothes go on because the "Folino girls don't show their bellybuttons or bootiecracks."

[stephjoel99]

My (now 4yo) son was a naked boy. He refused to keep clothes on in the house - no matter what we tried he would strip (even taking his pull ups off) when he was in the 2's. I spoke to other moms about this who had little boys - some had the same problem.

Our next door neighbors had girls and they didn't want them to see our son naked - which I totally understood. So if they wanted to play it had to be outside or at their house because at our house all bets were off where clothes were concerned (we live in a warm area of the country).

[Summer95]

Daphne ~ I don't have a daughter (yet), but I can tell you that this would not fly with me, nor would I allow my son to run around naked in front of other children...call me old fashion. I am sure this whole situation caught you off guard and you probably didn't know how to respond, but if you don't feel comfortable then I would let her know. As for the swimming pools...maybe a privacy fence or some Thuja Green Giant evergreens that grow 3 to 5 feet per year. Good Luck and keep us posted.

[Saya]

This hasn't come up for me yet, but I don't think it would be a problem for me. Kids at this age are both innocent and curious. I don't think being around naked members of the opposite sex would be at all harmful, so I think I'd permit it. Not sure what age would be too old for me - maybe 4? But the important thing here is what YOU would be comfortable with. Only you can say what's best for your kids!

[mommytoEli]

just to be fair....i wouldn't let me sons play with naked boys either. jmho.

[cjrogers]

I don't have a daughter yet. But frankly, based on experience babysitting, I would not allow this. I babysat / nannied a 3,4,6 year olds several years ago. They were allowed to be naked. They played doctor and one tried to put a pen (ink side first) into the 3 year old's behind. As I watched - horrified.... they said it was okay as long as it wasn't the pointy end.

OMG> no more doctor and no more naked. I am going to follow those rules for my own kids, because "anything goes" with kids.

Sorry for the horrid story... but you get my point...

and I'm editing this - because obviously it sounds like I was not attentive enough. That was NOT the case. These kids were normal boys... and they found a pen and tried to damage in under seconds... too scary for me.

Dspakowsky - I would say no, especially if you were not supervising closely.... jmo