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  #1  
Old 12-11-2007, 06:35 PM
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misoutmom misoutmom is offline
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Need advice from experienced adoptive parents

we picked up our son a little over two weeks ago. The first couple of nights were rough but ok... we expected that as he is our second Guatemalan child. We got home and he was doing well... I could lay him in his crib at night... he may fuss about 5 min.. but would go on to sleep and the same for his 2 naps... he is 7 months old.
Well this past Sunday it is like something happened. He now won't nap past 10 minutes and he is screaming... He screams when I hold him unless I am in a standing position.. I am able to comfort him... but he wants me to hold him constantly.. If I sit in a chair, couch...he begins screaming.. I rock him to sleep at night and as soon as his back hits the bed he is screaming once again... After enduring this all day and raising a 2 year old too... I am about to lose my mind... I don't want to let him scream as that doesn't seem to help either.. I just don't know what the change was.. Could he be having stomach problems as we started him on cereal and green beans and some fruits(at different times)... could he have an earache... is it grieving... is he scared???? I don't know what to do.... I need advice.
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  #2  
Old 12-11-2007, 07:36 PM
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Guatemomtobe Guatemomtobe is offline
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Have you been to the doctor yet? I would try some gas drops to rule out a tummy ache. When my dd has gas, laying down is horrible for her. Earaches and teething also seem to be worse at night.

Good luck and hang in there.
Susan
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  #3  
Old 12-11-2007, 07:50 PM
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My guess is that he is grieving. He is probably realizing that he is not going back to where he was and it is so difficult on him. I definitely would take him to the doctor though to rule out any medical cause.

When we brought our daughter home she was the same for a while. We used a sling a lot with our daughter and for naps we ended up using the swing. It was the only way she would nap for more than 15 minutes. We would stay in the room with her until she fell asleep, which would sometimes take up to 30 minutes. Things eventually got better. All children are different. I have heard of some children coming home older than our daughter and having no issues as well as some very young children having a lot of issues.

Hang in there. It will get better with time.
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  #4  
Old 12-11-2007, 08:16 PM
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Our daughter slept great on both visit trips but when she came home had horrible problems and would cry and want to be held as soon as she was laid down. When we took her to the dr she had bilateral ear infections and as soon as this was treated she was immediately back to normal in terms of sleep. I would take him to the dr first before assuming it is an attachment or grieving problem. If physical problems are ruled out then you can address it from that angle. Good luck and keep us posted.
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  #5  
Old 12-11-2007, 09:12 PM
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I would take him to the doctor to rule any medical conditions out first. I think it very well could be grieving. Is there any way you can show him some pictures of his fm or call her and have her talk to him on the phone??
We were pretty lucky in that Eva's grieving was not that severe but I can tell you that since she's been home she will have a rough night every once in a while. I just try to stick to her sleep schedule as much as possible and by the next day she is usually back to normal.
We also have a very predictable sleep/bedtime routine. I know that is more difficult to do with a 2 year old in the house though!
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  #6  
Old 12-11-2007, 09:12 PM
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First rule out any medical problems with a Dr. I know when my son was acting "unusual" it was usually an earache or sore throat or something!
Then focus on the attachment!
But get him looked at by a Dr!
Good luck!
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  #7  
Old 12-11-2007, 09:49 PM
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Sleep

I agree with all of the above, regarding the doctor and focusing on attachment.
I also wanted to let you know we experienced the same thing with our son. He came home at 8 months old. He always wanted to be held, and wouldn't let me out of his sight. Even moving a few inches a way some times. I used a baby sling constantly, and walked him to sleep basically for naps and when it got bad at night. He liked the motion and also being bounced slightly up and down. His fostermother held him constantly and bounced him to sleep.
It was exhausting, but my DH and I traded off as much as we could.
It does get better. Our son turns 2 tomorrow, and when it's bedtime now, he waves nite nite and goes right down.
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Old 12-11-2007, 10:08 PM
saranbr saranbr is offline
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Could be any of the things you mentioned. Have been to the MD yet? If not, I would go to rule out the medical potentials. You might also try taking him off all that food that has been started and put him on just what he was eating in Guat, even if it is just formula. Formula is a perfectly acceptable food for a 7mo old then slowly add one food at a time back in and give it a few days inbetween to be sure he is tolerating it okay. He may "just" be grieving-- and needs to be held. My DD had to be held whenever she wasn't sleeping for months after coming home and there was never any other problem we could point to. Hugs to you-- I hope you figure something out for your sanity. If you haven't yet, you might try a sling to give your arms a little break. That thing was a God-send for me.
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  #9  
Old 12-12-2007, 06:12 AM
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Not to be nosy but how are your poops? We had some problems with constipation that looked a lot like what you are describing. We had hard little poops and they hurt quite a bit . Miralax is a godsend. The food change could be causing problems. I also would wonder earache or teething. Earaches are sometimes hard to tell because they just look like a fussy baby until you go to the doc.
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  #10  
Old 12-12-2007, 11:29 AM
KJones5 KJones5 is offline
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Your baby sounds EXACTLY like our first son. Our FM held him while he slept or he slept in a swing. I tried EVERYTHING to get him to nap. Everytime I laid him in his bed ofr moved he was up. I never could get him to nap. Daycare got him to nap and he's been a good sleeper ever since then.

I feel for you! I hope you find a solution soon!
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  #11  
Old 12-12-2007, 11:55 AM
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Ditto on seeing the doctor first to rule out ear infections, maybe think about mylocon (sp?) for gas. Failing that, then try to work no possible greiving/attachment stuff.

Best of luck.
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  #12  
Old 12-12-2007, 07:26 PM
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misoutmom misoutmom is offline
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update

we went to the doc today and he has a viral cold which makes him feel pretty crummy. He had the beginning of an ear infection and we are on antibio. for that and I think he is greiving too. It will just take time and I have to adjust to this new lifestyle... We went out today and he did better. He was pretty happy until evening.
Thanks for all your encouragement and advice
Misoutmom
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  #13  
Old 12-12-2007, 07:50 PM
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just a thought

Happy to hear you went to the doctor. I am still in process so I really dont have a lot of advise about grieving, but as a mother of three when i read you post the first thing that came to my mind was get his ears checked. Ear infections can come with little to no prior symptoms and will make sleeping for you baby impossible. They can play all day just fine, but lay them down to sleep and forget it. Scream city.......Hope the antibiotics help. should see improvement with in 24 hours... Kristi
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