[misoutmom]

we have been home with our ds for a week and he is doing wonderful during the day all smilies and cooing... no naps... at night he screams and is not able to be comforted when he does fall asleep it is only for a short time and then he is crying again. His diaper is fine, he has a full stomach, I have left lights on, he will not let me rock him... I am exhausted and don't know what to do. I would love to do the Ferber method (as I did with dd from Guate) but feel it is too soon. Has anyone done this method after first coming home. Our DS is 7 months old.
thanks,
misoutmom

[SKL]

I experienced that several times, just after coming home with my wee one, then aged 9 months. My case was complicated because she shares a bedroom with her sister (also newly home), so some of the methods others use would not work for us. I fretted and tried all kinds of things and lost a lot of sleep. Finally I just decided that if she couldn't get herself to sleep at bedtime, I would just get her back up and wait three hours (her usual time between bottles), then give her another bottle and put her back to bed. Turns out that worked every time, once I figured it out.

Good luck - I hope you find your solution soon!

[gwenrenee007]

My thought is that he is too tired from not getting any naps during the day. I would think a 7 mo old should be getting 2 naps per day. My dd would sleep at 9 mo. 2/ 2 hour naps a day, although all children are different. She would take a nap 2 hrs after she got up in the morning and another around 2-3 in the afternoon. I also know that if dd is too tired she tries to fight her sleep and then she is very restless when she is sleeping. Just a thought. Good luck sleep problems are very hard to deal with.

[carlyincali]

He is grieving.

This is EXACTLY what happened to Shay after about a week after being home. He refused to sleep during the day and faught and faught it at night, until he finally fell asleep. It never got better, in fact it got worse. Whatever bonding he did was reversed. I slowly was falling apart as well. I would spend sometimes four hours a day just trying to get him to nap. Once he fell asleep, as soon as I would put him down, he'd wake up and scream. I could not comfort him no matter what I did. After weeks of this, we were both so exhausted. I was convinced that he hated me; and I, as much as I hate to admit, didn't like him very much either. The guilt I felt was so tremendous. I wouldn't ever wish that feeling upon anybody. But now, when I look back, I can't even believe I ever felt that way.

Finally, after Shay had been home home for six-weeks and after trying everthing (the Ferber method did not work with Shay--it only made it worse,) bought the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I think I read the book in one night. The next day, I did what it said. By the third day, I was putting him to bed and he didn't even so much as make peep. After the first week, I would say, "Shay it's time for night night," and he would find his *lovey* and walk right into his room.

After doing this, it was like we fell in love with each other. He was like a different baby. He was getting enough sleep, (we both were,) and he actually was happy and wanted me all the time.

I probably wouldn't implement this method this soon, since he's only been home a week; but if you are at the point I was, I would do it for my own sanity. I had been were you were at for almost two months. I was at my wits end.

To this day, we still do the same routine with Shay. This book was a lifesaver for us. We have never had any other sleep issues.

[carlyincali]

Do you have a swing? I just realized that since he is only 7mo, he is still small/young enough to fall asleep in the swing.

[misoutmom]

thank you for your suggestions. I am ordering the book tonight! I am at my wits end and I love this child but am losing my sanity. I also have a 2 year old daughter and she although sleeping through the night wakes when he is waking 6 to 7 nights a week. Thanks for your support!
Misoutmom

[CurlysGirly]

I really have no advice....just hugs for you. DD has finally slept through the night the past few days (I'm jinxing myself here) and she has been home almost 6 months.

I would get the book that Carla mentioned. It worked so well for her. Getting those 2 naps in during the day should help with the night wakings somewhat.

[Larue]

Another plug for the book. We didn't do all of the suggestions in the book, but we did implement some of them. Especially the earlier bedtime. And creating a consistent bedtime routine. We gradually moved Sabrina's bedtime back over a period of several weeks, so that she now goes to bed at 7:00 pm. She sleeps for about 11 - 12 hours, and also takes a 1 - 2 hour nap after lunch. Another lifesaver for us was the “Latin Lullabies” CD. Especially when she first came home. I think hearing the soft soothing music in Spanish was very comforting for her.

Hang in there. It is going to get better!!!

[jpeel99]

It is too soon to be trying in extreme measures for getting your baby to sleep. The "home coming" is a huge adjustment for your baby. Confort, snuggle, rock, love on that baby and bond.....the sleep will come later.

Sometimes we forget what the baby is going through in the whole process. I know I did, until much later when I had time to reflect on how difficult being removed from the comfort of the foster hom must have been.

[DPline]

I agree with the others that being overtired may be a huge part of the problem.

My daughter was similar when she came home. No naps or cat naps at best and up and down all night. After ready the Healthy Sleep Habits book we went to naps a 9:00 AM, 1:00 PM, and in bed by 6:00 PM come heck or high water and it did WONDERS. She will never be a great sleeper, but even three years later, if she gets overtired, we are in for it.

Good luck!

[misoutmom]

thanks for all of the advice. I have put DS down at 9am for the past two days and he has slept for 2 hours. I am putting him down in the afternoon too for a shorter nap about an hour. I am putting him to bed earlier and for the past 2 nights he has slept!!!
I also bought the book that has been reccommended and am reading it as fast as possible.
Thank you all for your help!
Misoutmom

[JillnChris]

It took us about two weeks to figure out how to help dd sleep through the night. We tried a bunch of different things but what eventually ended up working is this....
As soon as she starts acting fussy (around 8p.m.) I make her a bottle and sit in her room with the lights out and rock her. She usually falls asleep while drinking her bottle but even if she doesn't when she is done I put her in the crib, turn on a lullalaby CD, turn on a night light, and either give her the pacifier or make sure it is right next to her.
Ever since we started doing this she sleeps through until 8 a.m. without waking once! It is great!
Your son also might be overtired since is not taking any naps and that can make it difficult to fall asleep at night.
DD naps from 10-12 and 3-5. We follow a similar routine with naps. As soon as she starts acting fussy I make her a bottle and rock her to sleep.
Good Luck! I'm sure you'lle get lot's of great advice on here.

[JillnChris]

Ooops! I didn't realize this was an old thread! Glad it is working!!!