[jenneb]

On Nov. 13th. I know I will SO be a mess that day! I don't even want to be around other people! I know they will have comments like, "Wow he's a year already! I thought you'd have him by now!" ( Yeah me too!) What did you all do if you didn't have your baby by his/her 1st birthday. (I really did think he'd be home by now! ) Did you celebrate in a special way just you and your husband? I'm already thinking of calling in sick that day, but really what good would that do? What would I do at home, just sit and cry alone all day??

[dspakowsky]

We were in your same shoes last year...

We bought a cake that read "Happy 1st Birthday Evangeline - We Miss You!" and we just ate it ourselves. The day didn't go that bad at all. I tried to reflect on the good things ahead. I prayed she was having a fun day with her FM (turned out they went all out for her).

You'll be OK. I wouldn't call in sick because then you'll have too much time on your hands.

Take care!

[GuatabeeAMum]

With our son I was sad, but since he was 9 months old when we accepted his referral it wasn't too bad cause we went into it knowing he wouldn't be home by his first birthday. With our daughter it was harder cause we accepted her referral at three weeks and thought for sure she would be home for her first birthday. When it was two weeks before her birthday and we got ANOTHER kick out from good old PGN we decided to go down and visit for her birthday, cause I didn't want to miss BOTH of my children's first birthdays. Could you possibley go for a visit and celebrate?

[jenneb]

No, a visit isn't possible right now. We are hoping to go for Christmas, if we'renot out of PGN.

[GuatabeeAMum]

Maybe have a belated birthday party while you are down there? That would give you something to look forwards to in regards to the birthday (sort of)

[neenasee]

I would invite those closest to you and throw a little party. Take pictures for your little one so that when he is older you can show him how you all celebrated his birthday even though you could not be together. Is it possible for you to send something down like a birthday hat and a disposable camera? Maybe the foster mom can take his picture for you? I am so sorry your little guy is not home yet. Keep your chin up.
Nina

[noahsark]

Wow, our timelines are similar! I was fortunate enough to go down and celebrate his birthday. I like the idea of having a few close friends/family over and take pictures and show him when he is older.

I hope your out is real soon. Keep your chin up.
Maureen

[jenneb]

Maureen, Wow they are similar! Lets pray we're out soon!! I would love to go for a pick up trip instead of another visit! I like the idea too about having a few friends over, I just know I'm going to be SO emotional that day. And would hate for my friends to see me a blubbering mess!

[waiting4cristo]

Our dd's bday is Nov 17th...I had decided I'd be down there for it if we weren't out of pgn, but luckily we are. In which case, we'll miss her big day SOOOOO I am sending down a "birthday in a box" to her - party dress, tights, crown, feliz cumpleanos banner, a "1" candle, streamers, party hats, a few small gifts, and 2 throwaway cameras for her ffam to take pix for me. We are in contact with her ff, so on this end we are having a small party - cake, balloons, hats etc. - and taking a few pictures and emailing them down so she (and they) can see them.

This is the best I can think of, but it'll have to do. I am sad to think she'll be 1 already, and not quite home.
~Tricia

[drjeanne]

Are you in contact with your foster family at all? Do you know their physical address? Our baby wasn't home on her first birthday and we know a lady in Guatemala who delivers baskets to foster family's. She delivered a party to our foster family complete with birthday cake, presents from us and decorations for a big party. The family had a great time. This lady even took pictures for us and we were able to call her on her cellphone and talk to our baby on her special day. It was wonderful! Meanwhile we did buy her a small cake at home and we spent her birthday dinner together, just the two of us, and talked about how much our lives were getting ready to change for the better and then we lit the candle and blew it out and sang Happy Birthday to her. It was sad but, we at least felt in touch with her. The cake is still in the freezer and her second birthday is coming up on November 9th so, we will certainly be having a different sort of celebration this year! I can't wait!

Hope you get through this day and remember that next year will be so different for you and your family! You have so much to look forward to and you won't have to look back at this at all!

Best of luck to you!
Jeanne

[OpenThemAll]

We had another family over for lunch (it was a sunday), ate cupcakes, sang happy birthday, the whole deal. We did video it so we would have it later. Our son is in a hogar so I asked them to take pictures of him on that day for him to have later. I really thought I would be sad, but I just celebrated his life even though we weren't together. I have had much more difficult days than that day - I think I was ok because we did acknowledge it.