[amyruston]

Hey all, it's me AGAIN . So Bella has been seeing a Birth to 3 PT for 3 months, so from 11 months to 14 months. She started crawling finally about a month ago, but is no where near walking and really fights me on standing on her legs at all. I know she will get it and catch up in time, they all do right? I am thinking about calling them and telling them that I want to stick the PT on the back burner right now to focus on everything else going on with her. Of course we would still be working on that muscle strength at home, but she does really seem to benefit from the PT working with her. What do you all think? Do you think she will fall to far behind if we stop? I guess I feel like maybe if she learns to bond and trust me more the using my legs and trying those new things won't be such a big deal. Thoughts? What kind of timeline have your kids been on with the physical stuff? Thanks!!

[mommytoEli]

i didn;t think it was important either, but they kept making me bring him. eli finally crawled at 11 months, i wanted to quit, they talked me out of it. they didn't really work with him, because he was progressing, but they monitored him. i'm glad i stuck with it, because he didn't walk until he was 17.5 months old! he sure took his sweet time, and had i not been going to the pt appointments, where they continued to encourage me he was fine, i would have started to freak out something was wrong with him. i think many of our kids needed extra time and attention until they walked, and i think if you are lucky enough to have pt, stick with it girl. don't quit until she is walking steadily. i know it is a pain, but hopefully it will all be over soon.

my vote: stay in pt

[OkieDokie]

I feel your pain! I have had Kassie in ECI doing both speech and developmental therapy each week for the past 5 months. It is really hard to spend all that time and see very little improvement come out of it. But, one day I know everything will click for her! Keep with it!

[amyruston]

Well it's not that I don't think what the PT is doing is great, because she helps a ton!!! I just feel like she is having SUCH a hard time with bonding and attachment that maybe I should just back off on the physical stuff for now and focus on her and I. When I have her stand with me or next to the sofa she screams!!! Like I'm torturing her, I think it's a trust issue.

[Theslaws]

I say stick with it. As a speech therapist Ill tell you there are lots of benifits beyond just the physical gains she is making. By being with her during the sessions you are giving her support (emotional) and have lots of opportunities to praise her, give hugs, kisses etc for "trying". Also, she will get a sense of accomplishment. Seems crazy since she is so young but I have really learned that very young kids sense success. It is really important for self esteem and further skill development! You being part of that by being involved in her sessions is a good thing! I say jsut look at it as an opportunity for something for you to do together and give her tons of praise and encouragement while you are there!
Stick with it!

HOpe that made sense!

[Jecca]

I have to totally agree that you should continue with it. I'm a Speech Path also and work in Special Ed. Believe me, it is not always easy or fast to get kids qualified for services. Once you have them, hold them dear or you might struggle to get them back if/when you need them.

Also, I agree that, as long as the PT is good about involving you in the sessions, this is a perfect activity to foster attachment. Lots of opportunity for praise and support, eye contact, "playing", the whole bit. I'm sure if you frame it for your PT that way, she'll do what she can to work you into the therapy itself.

Good luck!

[Shilo32]

As a pediatric OT who works with the 3 - 5 year old population, I would highly recommend that you stick with it - as the earlier the intervention, the better. I agree with everyone else. Good luck to you - will keep you in my thoughts!

[JustBarbara]

Not in either field but I'd suggest to stick with it - these people are professionals in their field so I'd say if they recommend staying the course I'd do so.

[pjkay720]

I say continue with PT. My daughter who was not adopted was born extremely premature. She is 5 and gets all her therapies in school now. However, when she was birth to 3 we had PT, OT, speech, vision and so much more going on. Jessica was always sick. However, it benefited her greatly and not only her, but me as well. It was nice for me to have someone to talk to who was around other children like my daughter. You do not want to stop the therapy because they will fill your spot and then if you decide you need them again you may have to wait. In our area the wait times vary from 3-6 months just to get an evaluation. They usually have to start over again as if she was a new to them.

Also, there were plenty of days my daughter was just a nightmare and wanted nothing to do with therapy. On those days the therapist and I would discuss what I should be doing at home and how I should be doing it. It was like them giving me homework every week. As for attachment issues my daughter had them because the first 3.5 months of her life she was in a NICU. My PT and OT showed me baby massage which greatly helped. My daughter didn't like to be touched because when she was it was a needle or something that hurt. She screamed during the first week or two of the baby massage and then started to love it when she realized it wasn't hurting. My daughter and I still bond over bedtime routine and that's when I did the massaging. She still loves it.

Sorry this was so long I just have a lot of experience when it comes to therapies. I highly recommend you don't stop.

[angelkisses0102]

I am going to completely go against what I think everyone else said.

Stop PT and focus on bonding and attachment. Attachment is so much more important. Our psychologist agrees that DS HAD to attach FIRST. He is now labeled as significantly developmentally delayed across the board and in a special needs pre-K. DS was not delayed at his EI evaluation at 12 months nor when they followed up at 24 months...however in the next two years he fell behind because it took all of his efforts to attach.

The rest will come...and can wait. Attachment will not EVER come on it's own and it gets harder to heal a child with each passing day, week, month. Your daughter is still young enough that she should heal and attach 100%...as long as her issues are being actively addressed and treated. As time passes by, the chance of healing her 100% goes down.

In the past year, DS has shown healthy attachment, but since May we have seen tremendous improvement in his delayed areas. The difference between when DS was first evaluated in May and when he was reevaluated in late August was unbelieveable...the psychologist was amazed. Now since he started the special program in September...the positive change in DS is even greater. He will most likely be in a regular Kindergarten class next August.

In my unprofessional -just the mom of a healed attachment disordered child...drop everything else and focus on attachment. I can say in our case my DS would never have shown the improvement he has if he were still unattached or anxiously attached.

I also recommend talking with a qualified attachment therapist...they will be able to direct you on all issues such as this.

[amyruston]

Thanks for the opinions from both sides every one. After another rough day with my princess I am still very on the fence about what to do. I was trying to work with her a bit this afternoon, just playing. Putting some toys on one end of the sofa and playing with them with her trying to get her to at least stand and possibly move along the sofa at least one step. The minute I help her pull to standing she SCREAMS. I comfort her and tell her she is fine, she's doing great, and then keep playing over dramatically hoping she'll come around. No go!!! SCREAMS!!! and SCREAMS!!! I guess I'm not positive but I have to think it is ME, because she does what ever the PT wants and makes strides with her. So do I just have the PT come for that hour once a week so at least Bella will get some improvement there? Or do I worry that she is freaking out so much about trusting me that she won't even stand by me. Help, I need more people to weigh in.

[Isasparents]

Do you think maybe you're a little nervous and very tired (who wouldn't be) and that your daughter is sensing your anxiety? Maybe some of the moms whose babies are also home can suggest some ways for you to feel more at ease.

[ddhuab]

I have no experience with PT or attachment problems, but I did read a lot (here and elsewhere) before and after dd came home about both attachment and development problems.

My gut instinct, before reading responses, was that I would stop PT and focus on attachment. I agree with the points angelkisses has made. You have seen the exercise the PT has been doing with her, and even though it seems impossible to do them with her now, as she trusts you more she will let you.

The attachment thing is just so vital for her, and it just seems to me that the PT would represent some kind of additional caregiver at odds with you. If you are really on the fence, then I would definitely try to find an attachment therapist ASAP to get some educated advice.

D.

[SKL]

I also have no direct experience here, but I feel Angelkisses has very good points. I would add that it may depend on whether your daughter is physically healthy and just needing to "catch up," or has physical abnormalities. If the latter, I would think twice before stopping PT even with the attachment issues. If the former, I think I would stop pushing the PT for a while. She is sure to start walking eventually if she has all the physical requirements to do so. It would be best if she does not feel that her physical movements are a source of stress. In fact, if you completely ignore her physical progress, she may feel more motivated to develop on her own.

Good luck, and hang in there! I agree with others who suggest getting help from a professional on the attachment issues. It sounds like your baby suffered quite a hurt before you became her mommy, and a professional who has seen this before could probably lend you some very good ideas.

[cjrogers]

Stay with PT. While it is a pain, it is a proven method to help all, including children, overcome potential physical problems..... I have a background in medicine and health studies and have seen the benefits both from a clinical standpoint, research and even family and friends!!! My opinion! Good luck to you whatever you decide.

I am editing this to note the following: I know of many people who have heart made kids who were worried about "missing milestones" and stuff like that. The PT can't hurt at all. Unless it is a financial burden, it is okay. Especially if you are fond of your therapists.