[angelstamper]

As most of you know, we came home last week. When Joseph was handed to us last Monday from a hogar, he was a sick baby. He had a very bad head and chest cold. We were given an antibotic and and expectrant. The feeding and sleep schedule we were given was so far from the truth and so 6 month old text book, it would make you cry. We weathered through the rest of the trip and took him into his regular ped last Friday.

She immediately threw out the meds and started him on new ones and changed his diet (she was very upset at what we had been told and given). She also told us that for his weight he was more like a 4 month old than a six month old. He was not yet rolling over let alone sitting up or putting any weight on his legs. This dissappointed me, but we have made a lot of progress over the last week. He rolled over (back to front) two days ago and hasn't stopped. The cold seems to be gone although we have about 3 more days on the meds.

My concerns as a new adoptive mommy are with his sleep habits (or lack thereof). We were told he took a 1.5-2 hour naps at 10AM then again at 3PM, and slept through the night 7PM to 7AM. We understand this might not be the case with cold and a new environment, but we are not even close. Joseph takes 20-30 minute power naps around 10AM, 2PM and 4PM. He hasn't had a routine bedtime since we got him(anywhere from 7PM to 10PM) and wakes anywhere from 4AM-7AM. He is eating more and more each day, but under doctor's orders will not start on cereal until he is off the meds. He is also not having regular bowel movements, and the one he does have every 2-3 days is so difficult for him. I phone the ped today and her nurse suggested apple/prune juice. We are going to give that a try and see what happens.

We go back to the ped on Wednesday where I will ask all of these questions, but I am open to any advise to get us through until then.

I'm a very tired mommy right now.

TIA

[ana-mom]

First off, make sure your little one is getting enough fruits and vegies (you can puree them yourself) - at least 4 servings per day. Don't forget to dilute the fruit juice or you may incur diaper blow-outs.

Second, the info we were given by Ana's fmom on sleeping has never occurred for us. She came home at 12 months and we were told she slept 2 hours morning and afternoon and 12 hours at night. The best we have ever gotten is 10 1/2 at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. I think you just might have to figure out the sleep schedule yourself. Remember, your baby is in a whole new environment now with a whole new family and it may take some time for him to settle in.

[CEB]

Well, Welcome Home! Glad to hear Joseph is on the mend and hope he is feeling 100% better soon.

I wish I could give you some great advice - but I have to be honest and say it took us nearly 5 months to get Curtis on any kind of regular sleep schedule once we got home. Yes, his foster mother said he slept through the night. She was very up front about things with him and I actually believe he did do so with her family. But the adjustment to us put him back to square one sleep wise. He was very stressed in the crib so after a week or so we decided let him nap in the stroller (when he would wake up every half hour/45 minutes, he would see us there and it would often relax him enough to go back to sleep) and one of us co-slept with him on a futon at night (again, he woke up a lot during the night, but most of the time once he reached over and could touch one of us he was fine and went back to sleep). We slowly started transitioning him into his crib (had him play in there for a bit during the day etc) and finally got there after 5 months. And yes - prune juice and leg schrunches may help his other problem.

[Tavidad]

Unfortunately, it might just be time for the sleep thing, until he gets used to the new environment. Try to keep as much of a routine going, so that he knows what to expect, and can get used to it and see it's safe. We knew our son felt safe when we could leave him alone in bed without having to sleep with him.

The delay in rolling over, that was our son, too, and many others I've talked to.

Our experience with constipation: It may seem ridiculous, but some babies may go many days without a poop. I have read of healthy, normal kids that went almost two weeks without one. It happens, it's normal, it can make you nuts, but it's normal. Our son regularly didn't have any birthmom's for two or three days. Freaked us out, but we didn't do anything and it always returned to normal with no intervention. It happens for healthy, nursing, bio kids as well. Maybe he's just absorbing everything you're giving him, to get stronger and better. I would suggest that anything you try, make it natural and don't over do it, just let it run it's course. We did make sure that he was getting enough fluids, beyond just the formula. That seems to help.

When his birthmom start to come more often, you may regret it!

[CEB]

I am sorry but I have to admit really laughing at the results of the autocensor on this site automatically changing the two letters B and M whenever they appear together to birthmom in Tavidad's post. I think I need more sleep!

[RGirl]

When I brought my daughter home at 6.5 months, she was on a newborn schedule - just catnapping during the day and waking up multiple times at night for a bottle that she didn't even really seem to want. I got The Baby Whisperer book, and within a couple of weeks, she was taking two regular naps per day and sleeping 12 hours at night without me ever having to do anything remotely like CIO.

Good luck and welcome home!!!!

[Theslaws]

The sleep part is definately tough! There is a great book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby. It has lots of good info in it.


Good luck

[jennsult]

I personally think the developmental delays are normal. My daughter will be 10 months old tomorrow and when we were there in Sept, she also was not crawling and had NO leg strenght. She appears to be about 2 months behind. At first I was very concerned, but I've relaxed my thinking. I know once she is home and under our care and love, she will catch up quickly. I think all your son probably needs is your love and care. I bet you he will catch up in no time.

[Tavidad]

Originally Posted by CEB

I am sorry but I have to admit really laughing at the results of the autocensor on this site automatically changing the two letters B and M whenever they appear together to birthmom in Tavidad's post. I think I need more sleep!

I had to read it four or five times to find it! That's too funny! I hope I'm right in assuming it was just trying to help, not to censor!

[guatamama2]

Wow it must be wonderful to have your little guy home

I would also try the apple (diluted) juice that usually does the trick .

Have you tried taking him in the shower with you, it may help with the congestion and will get him to relax and maybe sleep a bit longer for you. I did this when we brought our little Guataling home and would stand in that shower until the hot water ran out! I was desparate - he did the power naps also.

I also am a firm believer that A LOT (not all) but A LOT of FM's tell parents what they think we want to hear, when in fact it would be much easier on all if they just told us the real food/sleep schedule!


Hand in there it will be rough for awhile and you will survive and we are all here for you!!!

[DPline]

Originally Posted by Theslaws

The sleep part is definately tough! There is a great book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby. It has lots of good info in it.


Good luck

I second the recommendation of this book. It was a lifesaver for us. It will take a while for him to adjust to so many changes in his life, but this book can get you heading in the right direction.

As far as his size and development . . . he may just be small child. My daughter is almost 4 years old and she is all of 28 lbs and 36 inches. My son at age 4.5 is bigger than her, but still no where near what my bio son was at the same age. Guatemalan child tend, in general, to be smaller, and US growth charts don't take into account their different genetic background.

Also, many children adopted from Guatemala come home developmentally delayed by US standards. It is not necessarily lack of care, but just different care and expections than we have. Try not to worry. He will more than likely 'catch up' to US standards quickly.

Good luck!

[brenda.lynn]

Not sure if this helps...
My oldest daughter never napped, I mean never. She would go to bed at 10pm, get up once in the middle of the night, and then she was up at 5am for the day. This started as soon as she was born. I was exhausted, and when I asked the doctor she said, " Every child is different. If she doesn't nap, she doesn't need to." Um, yeah, except I NEEDED her to nap. Well, she never napped, but she did learn to stay in her crib for awhile without crying.

She was also very very constipated. I found prune juice to work very well. But not give more than a few ounces, or you will have a mess on your hands!

My second daughter did everything the books said, took two naps every day and so on...you just never know.

[Tamiswaiting]

I'm not much help with the sleeping issue (at least at night...he naps fine). I can tell you that Kevin had some constipation problems when he first came home, too. Juice definitely helped. He has since regulated and doesn't have that problem. It was probably all the stress of the transition that constipated him...

[guatmama2b]

I too am a new mommy so I really only have info on the sleep part. My son came over a little over a month ago and his sleep habits are almost identical to your sons. We talked to our ped about them and she said that becasue he is getting so much sleep at night, he probably only needs the 30 minute power naps very day. She said that as long as he is averaging 12 hours of sleep per day, that is a healthy amount. Good luck and keep us posted if your ped has any other input.

[SKL]

I have no brilliant advice but I had to post just to show support. I came home one day after you, and I had a monster cold by the next morning. Today is the first day I feel about 75% of my normal self. And my experiences with the babies' eating and sleeping schedules are similarly frustrating. In addition, my one-year-old is mobile, willful, and moody - and while I guess this is not too different from any one-year-old, it's taking me some time to get used to it.

Even if what the foster moms told us was true (which I highly doubt in some respects), we screwed their schedules up so bad during travel week, and then with the time change, I guess I should be glad they are not more screwed up than they are. Add in my loving family who couldn't wait to see them (four visits so far), and friends and colleagues who think just an hour or three of work / dinner out can't be too much to ask, or that their coming over would somehow give me a "break," and I am totally on track to be the worst mom ever. (As in, turning off the monitor so I can sleep longer whether they start peeping early or not!)

I am trying to learn to be patient with the unpredictability and lack of control, and just take my energy from seeing the girls learn and grow. They make little but important strides every day. Yes, they are both delayed and have some health issues, but I expected that, and it actually isn't as bad as I expected.

My kid brother suggested I should compare this to how it would be if I had newborns. That would be harder, right? Although he is a single, childless guy who thus has limited credibility on the matter, I have to admit he has a point.

Hang in there! This too shall pass. It has to!