[judymend]

I absolutely can't bear to read any more of the negative comments that some of you have had to endure about your Blessed adoptions. Please, please post your most wonderful comments you've heard about your adoption...

I'll start:

Once I tell some people (strangers) that Peter Jack is adopted, since he looks so much like us and the rest of the family and no one ever asks, this is what I get back...

Lady at Babies R' Us Store (after telling her about our adoption story): "He has the most beautiful eyes and lashes, you must be on cloud nine with your beautiful Son"! "May you have a lifetime of Blessings".

Grandparents (my parents): "We loved you from the beginning of time, and now you are finally with us Querido Nietesito (dear grandson)".

Co-Workers: "We have been following your journey to your mommy and daddy, and you have finally arrived. We love you Peter Jack"!

Pediatrician: "Peter Jack seems to have adjusted so well, he's alert, happy and healthy and that makes me very happy for him".

Ladies in Lord & Taylor, while I tried on a dress: "SHE is absolutely beautiful, what is her name?" ME: "No, actually he's a boy and his name is Peter Jack". Ladies: "Wow, he looks as pretty as a girl, God Bless". "He looks like his Father" (my dh was with us) ME: "Actually our Son was born in our hearts". Ladies: "Where is his birth country"? ME: "Beautiful Guatemala". Ladies: "Wow, what a beautiful Blessing". (All three ladies were in love with Peter Jack, letting him run around, get behind the register, take the boxes out from behind the register after ME telling him not to , letting him go into the adjacent dressing room so that he could look at himself in the mirror and they could watch him and crack up with him). One of the gals asked: "What will he be for Halloween"? DH: "Tigger". Lady: "Oh please bring him to the mall that night and do stop by"! What an amazing group of human beings, my heart was dancing for all of us that night!

I have so many more! Fortunately, to date, we have not had any negative feedback/comments about our adoption. On the contrary, every stranger we tell our story to is so genuinely happy for us, you could tell in their eyes and in their "receiving" voice. If I ever receive a negative comment while Peter Jack does not understand, I will have to deal with it, and deal with it I will in a way that will show my Son that sometimes lack of knowledge and being unaware will sometimes be unavoidable - and will teach him not to fret but to always hold his head up high in pride for who he is, a beautiful (inside and out) human being.

Please post your "Wonderful" comments...

Blessings

[Theslaws]

We need this thread right now! I agree, I have not gotten any intentionally "bad" remarks. My favorite "cool" story happened just days after bringing our younger daughter home. We took her to the ped for her first check up. Had to do the stool sample thing and bring the tubes into the lab. I brought both girls with me to drop a sample off. The receptionist was busy so we had to wait a few minutes. Started talking to a woman who was pregnant and also has a 9 month old that was adopted from within the US. She knew a lot about Guat from researching adoption and we started talking. There was an older woman waiting for lab work too. She kept saying how beautiful my girls are. She said "I dont know who is more blessed, you or them" which is how we feel. She continued on to say how great she think international adoption is for everyone involved. She then came over and handed me $10 - YES MONEY- and said "Im sure you have a piggy bank for the girls, go buy them something fun, you have such a beautiful family, enjoy!" I had tears. It was a really neat moment!

Please share more stories! I know there is lots of bad out there but lots of good too!!!

[Slatond10]

Thanks so much for starting this thread!!!! because the positive comments so far out weigh the negative for us as well!

While in Guat (2005) - A Guatemalan woman on the elevator hugged us and kissed DD's head. She blessed us. Even with the language barrier this was a very special moment.

My Niece wrote this week:

I started reading the notes on the petition tonight! I just started crying! I can not imagine our lives without S. From the moment you called and sent us the email with her picture we fell in love with her. It went down hill from there with the first time i held her, to her smiling, walking, talking, singing "Jesus Loves Me", screaming MY "G", and in between! I cannot imagine how individuals that have a child biological or adoptive could ever dream of stopping adoptions if they know a childs love! It breaks my heart to think that those families will never hear the words "I love You" from their child! God has blessed us with a beautiful child inside and out.

Every person we meet:
She is the most beautiful child I have ever seen!
( As Mom, of course I think so too because I know she is beautiful all the way through!)

[stladoptivemommy]

We have two adopted daughters and have fortunately received all well wishes and positive comments. I think that most people are very supportive of adoption but often don't know exactly what to say, and it often comes out wrong or negatively. And, of course, some people are just mean spirited! But, I can't count the number of people that have said to us "Bless you, thank God there are people willing to take children into their homes and love them as their own, your children are beautiful, etc." Adopting our daughters has been a truly wonderful experience for our family and I believe it has impacted others for the good, some are now considering adoption after walking through this process with us. I know that at some point there will be negative comments, and I am bracing and preparing myself for this! There will always be people ready to give their opinions in the grocery store line!

[LestWeForget]

The good words VASTLY outnumber the rude comments we've received. Everyone talks about how beautiful Isabella is, and those who have met her talk about how she has such a wonderful personality. As a father, the nice comments that always make my heart skip a beat are the ones like "She's going to be such a heart-breaker" and "With those eyes...you're going to be working overtime to keep the boys away from her." Yeah...I've got a lot of work cut out for me. I already have two other beautiful daughters, and it is a constant source of stress.

[JustBarbara]

Great topic Judy ... and well-needed.

For me it began at the Radisson in GC on my visit trip - the lady housekeeper on our floor saw DS (3 months at the time) and came over to chat with us, bless him and tell him what a beautiful, lucky boy he was. And then she blessed me! When I had to hand him back to the FM this lady was the one who gave me a big hug through my sobs and told me everything would be all right and I would be back soon.

Fast forward 2.5 months and I was there for pu trip - the same lady saw us and came running over to give sweet DS a kiss on the forehead and a group hug, and to remind me what she had said months earlier - when we came back from the embassy she cried with me and wished me a blessed life full of love.

Once home I took twice-daily walks around my neighborhood and the ladies at CVS took a liking to DS and would always say hi to him, chat with him and to tell me how lucky I was. Whenever I go into the store without him they always ask for him, what he's doing, learning and want to see new pictures. An older male employee stopped by as I was chatting with a lady employee and said - she is just beautiful. Oh, said I - He's all boy and took off his hat to show his beautiful head of black hair. The guy just started laughing and said 'hey, no fair just because I'm bald you had to rub it in? But you're right, he is beautiful'.

My Dad ... who while supportive always asked if this is what I really wanted to do, how would I do it financially and on my own and I told him 'like I always do, I'll make it happen'. My Dad loves his grandson so much and they 'chat' almost daily on the phone and he tells me how proud he is of me and what a great mother I am. Of course he hasn't given up on me finding Mr. Right and I haven't either

At the pediatrician's office - the nurses come out to say hi to DS and let him walk around the place greeting new patients with a wave and a loud 'hi' and tell me he is just perfect (well, I know this I am his mother!)

The elderly men and women who live in my area - we always stop and have a few words with them. And they want to pat his head and touch his chubby cheeks and you can tell they get as much joy out of it as DS and I do! They all tell me what beautiful eyes he has and looks just like me - even after I tell them he is adopted. They tell me I am so lucky and blessed and yes, I am - very blessed indeed.

The other day we walked by three ladies unpacking a car and DS gave his customary greeting and they stopped and gathered around to say 'hola' to him and I told him he was adopted from Guatemala - all of a sudden the conversation was very fast but I could follow enough of it as one told the others ... they bent down to touch his little chubby legs and pat his head and told him he was 'muy guapo' and that he was a very lucky boy. Thank you says I but I am the one who is lucky - he is a perfect boy.

My sister who never fails to tell me how great DS is and how my mother would be proud of how I am raising him.

Being a mom has changed my life. I knew it would I just had no idea how big my heart could become and how blessed I feel every single hour of every day. Sorry so long I just feel so ... happy.

[rapf777]

Yes I have gotten good as well as bad...

When we tell pple that Giuseppa is adopted they look at me and say we wouldn't of never known...she looks like you and than end with May God Bless you and I always responded He already has.

[busterleroy]

I am so glad you started this thread Judy, and I couldn't agree more - we hear good comments so often and the occasional negative comment usually comes from someone who probably doesn't understand many aspects of adoption.

One of the best comments we had came from a little girl in the supermarket, about nine year old, shopping with her mother. I noticed they kept smiling at DD and I. Finally the little girl came up to me and she smiled shyly, then asked " Is she adopted?" I smiled back and said "yes, sweetie she is!" And then the little girl smiled even more broadly, stood really straight and said " So am I!!" " I asked where she was born and she said Haiti, she had been home in the US for six years and then the mother and I ended up talking for about fifteen minutes. The best part was her playing with my daughter the whole time, smiling and laughing.

We've only had a few negative comments in the past few years but I honestly don't pay much attention to them. Treasure the kind words, let the bad ones go.

[wildboyz2]

On the plane, going down to pick up Evangeline, I sat next to a man from Guatemala. He asked why we were going to Guatemala and I told him to pick up our daughter. He said "This is a wonderful thing that you do"!

[PetersMom]

We had our share of negative stuff, but really we have had more positive comments.

Most of the time, I get compliments on how beautiful my daughter is and how handsome and well-behaved my son is.

My favorite comment came from my then 6-year old niece when my son was 2. She introduced him to her mother's friends at a Pampered Chef party as, "This is my cousin Peter. WE adopted him!"

Oh! One more. We were at a family reunion in MI and one of the cousins (about 10 years old) asked her dad, "So is she really our cousin? For real?" Her dad said, "Yep!" She got all excited and said, "That's so cool!"

I choose to let those comments fill the memory chips in the gray matter of my brain, not the negative ones. Yeah, the negative ones come up, but I don't dwell on them.

[crayolamom]

Thanks for starting this thread Judy! I love to hear all the wonderful adoption stories and I'm so looking forward to sharing one of my own.

[linda512]

I have not recieved any negative comments, and in fact, this morning, was thinking that I would be totally unprepared if they come.
My nephew (10 years) is really proud of the fact that Benji is adopted and loves to tell people. My favorite is that he says "Benji is adopted but he has traits just like us. For example, I like dinosaurs and Benji likes dinosaurs". He gives other examples, but it is just so sweet.

[KKR213]

Great idea Judy!!

I also haven't received any negative remarks but have had many positive remarks.

Family - My mother, sister and nephew supported me every step of the way. My mother who hates to fly went to Guatemala with my TWICE. My sister helped me shop for John, put up his crib, installed the car seat. My nephew (thrilled for a boy cousin!) stayed up until 2 am to meet John for the first time and asked if he could bring him to show and tell at school because he wanted everyone to meet him. This Valentine's Day he made John a card telling him how much he loved him and so glad he was home! My extended family was so excited for John's arrival too.

Co-workers - My whole firm threw me a baby shower at the office which they never do. The firm even footed the bill for the food! They bought me a video camera and a BRU gift card. At first I was told John was in an orphanage and every year the Admin staff has a Christmas lunch and collect money for a charity instead of giving gifts. The Christmas after I received John's referral, they selected the orphanage to give the funds to so that all the children would have something. When I brought John into the office the first time, one of the founding partners (also an adoptive father) introduced John to one of his clients and told him that he was from Guatemala. This client opens libraries in Central America and said John was beautiful and blessed.

Worker at the Marriott - On my visit and pick up trips my mother and I would go into the store at the hotel to shop. She saw me crying after the foster mother picked John up and said I would be back for him soon. She remembered us and the night before we left we were buying a few things and she asked when we were going home and I said tomorrow. As we were leaving she ran from behind the counter and gave John one of those hand drums to take to his new home.

Pediatrician - At his 2 year appt last week told me that John is perfect and thriving.

Co-worker of my sister who is from Guatemala said that he is glad I adopted from Guatemala.

And in general most people just tell me that he is cute.

[LDC]

Thank you for reminding me just how lucky I am. We have never had a rude comment. We always get comments on how beautiful and charming our children are. They were welcomed into our lives by all our friends, co-workers and church family, with never a bad comment. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives I forget just how lucky I am to have these beautiful, smart, wonderful children my life. I can't wait to get home from work today and play with my children and tell them how much I love them.

Lisa
mom to Carlos (5) and Sophia (2)

[stephjoel99]

I had painters at our new house before Amelia came home. They happened to be painting Amelia's room and my bio daughter's room when I stopped by - both rooms are pink. The "chief painter" asked me if I had 2 daughters. I told him I did, but that one was still living in Guatemala and we hoped to bring her home soon.

His eyes welled with tears and said "I am from Guatemala - I came to this country to make a better life for my family and I just want to thank you for what you are doing." I told him that there was no need for thanks, WE were the ones who were thankful. It was a very emotional moment and one I won't forget.