[mamaskoby]

I am trying to take my mind off our pgn dilemma by planning the bris for my son as much as I can. Our Rabbi says because the boy was not circumcised -we must do the conversion for the baby, has anyone else heard/done this? If so what is involved?
TIA,
Anna

[amyfk]

Hi Anna,

We adopted a child from Russia and we are Jewish. We adopted a girl though so I cannot help you with issues with finding a mohel.
My parents were very insistent that our child had an orthodox conversion(even though we dont consider ourselves to be orthodox). She felt that if my baby wanted to marry an observant man later on, her conversion would be accepted in more religious circles.
Although we are Reform, we joined a "Traditional shul" which we found in the local phone book. The rabbi from this shul was good because he was able to loccate a Mikvah that would accept us and was able to locate two other rabbis that would do the conversion. The religious conversion is called a Bet Din and is a court of three rabbis officiating.
We were lucky. Today I hear of folks who want a more religious and accepted conversion but arent able to get it. We had to drive an hour and a half from our home to the mikveh becuase the other mikvahs in our area didnt accept conversions of children unless the parents were observant Jews.
I was told by someone recently that their mikvah/rabbi wanted them to sign a letter saying that if the child was converted in a more traditional mikvah, they would have to raise the child Orthodox(kosher, sabbath, etc.) they refused. They had a hard time getting a mikvah so they dunked the baby in the ocean instead!
I dont know how the Reform do it. I believe I have read that they dont even send the children to a mikvah to be converted. I think they just get a Hebrew name.
Again, we were very lucky. We are now staying members of the temple that allowed our child the conversion. However, in most cases today from what I understand if you want your child to be converted in a traditional mikvah and with a court of three Rabbis present I think you have to be willing to raise the child more religious.
I think it's a real dilemma for Jewish families.
I would call synagogues in your area(in the denomination that you plan to join) and ask about how they handle conversion, have they handled conversions in the recent past.
Please keep me posted. Best of luck and congratulations.
Amy K, NJ

[Saya]

Hey Anna,

Our daughter has been home for almost 9 months already and we still haven't done it - bad mommy! Our goal is to have her conversion completed by her 2nd birthday. We have done some research, however. As far as we can tell, most of the Jewish dominations agree on the basics. In order to do an infant conversion, you need 3 knowlegeable Jews (usually representative of a Beit Din or rabbinical court), and you need to dunk the baby in a mikvah.

Of course the reality isn't that simple. All the dominations (and often within dominations) have different opinions. Do the 3 witnesses need to be rabbis, people learned in Jewish law, or just Jews? Do they have to be all male (the orthodox would say so) or can they be female? Is the trip to the mixvah mandatory or optional? At what age can you no longer do an infant conversion - when does the individual have to convert as an adult (I've heard age 5, but I'm not sure where that comes from). And I suppose some very reform or reconstructionist individuals would say you don't even need a conversion - it's enough that they are your child.

As Amy says above, alot of in depends of what kind of conversion you want to give your baby. Do you want one that will stand up in Orthodox circles so that if your child decides to marry an observant girl or move to Israel he won't have to reconvert? Or would you be happy just doing it in your local Reform shul (most Orthodox rabbis don't accept Reform conversions as valid).

In terms of the circumcision, my guess is almost all Jewish communities would require it as part of the conversion process with a boy. Once you decide where to do the conversion, you should talk to a rabbi about what to do. Does it need to be done by a mohel? Can it be done at a hospital and still be valid? I believe there have been some other conversations on this board about it - you can do a search above.

Good luck with your adoption - I hope that cute boy of yours comes home soon!

[Rhody]

There are some earlier threads on this. You might want to try to do a search to find them.
Our son came home at 8 months. Circumcision becomes a surgical procedure once the baby moves beyond the new born stage. It's an outpatient procedure that has to be done in the hospital with the baby being under anesthia.
Our doctor said to wait until he was at least a year because of the anesthia. But I have heard others doing it when they are younger.
We talked to a pediatric urologist, and some others who have posted in the past have been able to have a rabbi be in the room when the surgery is done.
Our rabbi was fine with circumcision. But some do want a conversion in the bath. I think it depends on the rabbi really. Our's said he would do it if we wanted it done. We're still mulling.
Good luck.

[luv2teach2]

I converted my dd 3 months after she came home. She went through the Mikvah/ Beit Din. I am reformed,but I was told to be recognized as a Jew she had to have the Mikvah. I was also told that it could not be done in an orthodox mikvah because they do not recognize conversions. I could not do her baby naming until she was converted. In the mikvah, you say 3 prayers and dunk her 3 times, she did not like it , and the water was gross Hope this helps.

[waltersnewaddition]

Our Rabbi said we have to get the circumsion first, then have a moyel bless him. We tried when he came home to have his circumsision, but the doctor's say wait until he is a year. We have our circumsion set for the end of Sept. Our rabbi said the conversion could not be done with out the circumsion. I think it all depends what rabbi and temple you attend.

Good luck,

[MeredithD]

We brought our son home at 8 months and have his circumcision scheduled for the beginning of October. Our urologist said the circumcision must be done in the hospital with anesthesia due to the age of our son (he'll be 13 months). He said babies over four months are too alert to be circumcised without anesthesia. I didn't discuss this with our Rabbi, so I don't know if this is the perspective he would take.
We are reform and are doing a baby naming with our Rabbi the end of October. The Rabbi insisted that the circumcision be done first. Also, my husband is going to have to take him to the Mikvah.

Good luck!!
Meredith

[lcikra00]

Hi,
I am adodpting a girl, we are Jewish and I have 3 bio boys. As for my adopted girl, what will need to happen as far as conversion goes is that she will have to be dipped in the micvah. Usually a parent goes in with her and as the rabbi reads prayers, she is dipped 3 different times. My niece was adopted and that is what we did for her. As for a boy, before he is circumcised, they will probably do the same thing.
Lesley

[Saya]

Just found this interesting web page that might be helpful:

CONVERTING INFANTS AND CHILDREN TO JUDAISM

[mamaskoby]

Thanks so much for all your info!! THe only local Jewish group we have are the Chabads, and of course they are saying we have to DO EVERYTHING for it to be valid. THat means we have to become kosher religious etc and do the conversion in lieu of the child (since he is so young and cannot do it for himself yet)
None of this makes me happyl, I was raised reform and do not want to have to become soooo strict!!!!!
Any more advise out there?
Anna

[jeannecr]

We also are in the process. I had his circumcision done at 15 months in the hospital. The Jewish doctor who does the newborn brises around here said that after the newborn period, there is a risk of bleeding, etc., so it's much better under anesthesia. The next step according to my rabbi (Conservative) is the mikveh.

If you are not comfortable with Chabad, then you could have the circumcision done around age 1 medically, and wait to finish the conversion until you can make use of a Reform rabbi. Perhaps you have family who have a rabbi who could help you?

[amyfk]

bumping this up. no advice but maybe someone else has some.
Amy K, NJ