[yankeefan]

I need help.

We brought home our little boy on June 27, and are having a great time. No real issues at all, but here is the thing..... Back in January, my MIL decided that for her 60th we would all go on a cruise together in August, which was a great idea at the time, because we thought our son would be home for a few months by then, but as our luck would have it it took longer than it should( We waited 14 months for him) and now August is here!.

So this is what I need help with, Do we go???? (We tried to bring him with us, but the cruise line says we need a three person room and of course they are all booked up for those!)

I have no idea what to do. I am torn..... Any advice would be helpful!

We would be leaving him at home with my sister who lives with us and who he knows very well. I am not so sure he knows she is not his mama, which is another story all together, but.... he would still be at home in his crib and with his toys, don"t know if that helps.....


Robyn

[jeannecr]

I can't believe the cruise line won't let you bring your baby! Have you talked to the manager, etc.?

If nothing works, then IMHO, I would not leave him at this time with someone else. After all, you want him to understand you are his forever Mommy.

[keirasmom]

I agree, speak to a manager if you haven't already and also contact the cruise line directly. Would they let you pay the fee for a 3 person cabin but stay in a two person...sometimes it's all about the money! You could try booking a single room for your son and when they freak out for obvious reasons say "well you won't allow him to sleep in our room".

Seriously, my aunt is a travel agent, she's on vacation, but I'm going to try to get a hold of her about this it doesn't seem right.

If they really refuse to allow you to have DS in your room I don't think I would go.

[robandjulie]

I agree, go but take him with, or don't go. If you have to, book a single room and claim Dh will stay in there and you and DS will stay in the double, then just all stay in the double together. It's probably crazy expensive to do that, but I just can't see leaving him with someone else after only 6 weeks.

Good luck!

[angelstamper]

We have cruised a lot and love to do it, so as for the cruise line saying you need a room for 3 sounds pretty accurate. They charge per person, regardless of age. There are some exceptions, and contacting a manager probably wouldn't hurt, but don't be surprised if you get the same answer. They don't usually budge on anything. We had our wedding on a cruise ship, and they wouldn't bend their rules even for Bridezilla (even when I was super sweet and cried).

I also don't think you would have a good time on the cruise with him. (not meaning you wouldn't enjoy "him", but the atmosphere as a whole) There are not a lot of children activities (Disney excluded) on cruise ships that involve the whole family. There are a lot of lines that now offer great programs for children, and even have in-cabin sitters, but that would be the same as leaving him home with your sister, and a lot more difficult on the wallet.

I do tend to agree with jeannecr given the short amount of time your baby has been home. I don't think I would go if he can't. It sounds like you still need more bonding time. (JMHO)

I hope you can come to a decision that you feel comfortable with and I'm sure no matter what it is, your family will be very supportive and understanding.(at least I pray so)

Hope this is of some help. HUGS!!!

[mamaskoby]

I agree, take him with you or stay at home with him!!
Keep us posted,
Anna

[DD Amasa]

I'd definately go. He'll be home two full months by then. You say he'd be with your sister whom he knows very well and already lives with you. And he'd be at home in his own room. I think he'll be just fine. Go and enjoy yourself. I wouldn't hesistate to go.

[dspakowsky]

How many nights would you be gone? Do you want to go and leave your child behind? If not, don't go.

[GuatabeeAMum]

I would either take him with somehow or stay at home.....I think "losing" another mother this soon would be incredibley hard on him

[Niclayson]

This is a tough call. He's only been home a short time so a week long cruise away from him could impede attachment. Most experts on attachment recommend not separating from your child overnight for at least 6 months.

Beg and plead and explain the situation....maybe you can get him on board.

[Clare'sMom]

I am sooo sorry. What a hard decision. I do however have to agree with the general consensus here and say. I would speak to the cruise line, explain your dilemma and if they won't budge... I would not go. Meet your family at one or two of the ports with your son, it might be a nice vacation for all of you... Best Wishes! Ann

[CEB]

First and foremost piece of advice - drop the Yankees (says the native Bostonian)!!

Second - If it were me, I would do as the others recommended, although that is driven in large part by my personality and it may not be right for you. We have been home 5.5 months and so far have always taken our little guy with us when away overnight (it does interrupt his routine a bit - but not too much). He might be OK without us for a night or 2 but to be honest I would not be - he has been through a lot recently in terms of change of caregiver and I would be worried about the possibility he would flip out or that he would lose the trust in us we have worked so hard to get. Although very happy during the day (and perfectly fine with a daytime babysitter which he has one day a week), I know he is still gets stressed at night if he wakes up and we are not right there in his room. So, I just do not think I could enjoy a cruise right now. I probably will be ready to leave him overnight by year end - that is a very conservative 10 months. However, you and your son may have a completely different personality than I and my son do.

Good luck with you decision.

[Slatond10]

Sounds like you got some good advise already... when I am trying to make a major decision with personal conflict I try to visualize. For example visualize yourself on the cruise and your DS @ home w/ Sister! How does that visualization make you feel?????

If I was in your shoes I think I would feel MAJOR TENSION with that scenario. I did not leave my DD even for 1 night until she had been with me for over 6 mo and even then I called my parents house 4 times that night. If the visualization technique makes you feel @ peace then that is usually the right decision to make. BUT something tells me by your comment that about DS "not being sure that he does not know she is his Mama" about your sister... leads me to believe that you would have tension leaving him right now!

[MamaJanny]

Robyn,
Just a quick thought, and this is because my DH and I just booked a cruise with our three bio. kids. We had to pay for the suite because of the size of our family, but our other option was to pay for two smaller cabins (something about the regulations about how many people can be in a cabin of a certain size). So, you might think about getting a second 2-person cabin (and of course, you wouldn't really have to be separated from each other...just on paper, it would be that way). I know in a way this might seem like a waste, but if you have your heart set on going, you might think about it.

I would definitely either take your little guy with you or stay home with him.

Hope this helps!

Janelle

[Disneycrazed]

I would either take him or stay home. I can't imagine going on a vacation without Malea right now and she has been home for 6 months.
I also know that she would have a hard time with us leaving her for that amount of time.
good luck in whatever you decide