[annelisa]

I just finished talking to my dear friend. She is having a really bad day, which has followed some really long bad weeks. I will try to be objective and stick with the facts, but I have to admit that I am a bit emotional right now.
When my friend and her husband began this adoption, they did ALOT of research! They already have 2 adopted children whose cases took a year plus, so they REALLY wanted to "do it right" this time. They were told, before signing with the agency, that their adoptions were running 6-8 months; that they would receive monthly medicals and pics; that their questions would be answered on a timely basis; that they had the best lawyers, etc.
It will soon be a year since they accepted their referral. They have gotten 4 medicals to date; MAYBE pics that often; they have been in PGN since last November; and they haven't heard from the director for at least 2 months. The last time my friend asked a question, the director had another CLIENT answer her questions.
This is an agency who insults God by claiming to be a Christian organization and who blame Him when things don't go right. Yes, they phrase it by saying, " It is all in His time.....you just need to trust." Well, I am also a Christian who owns a service business with my husband. Can you imagine if we didn't take responsibility for our business and told our customers that their service would happen "in God's timing". We would be out of business in short order!!!!
It is agency directors who hire Guatemalan attorneys and facilitators . It is then their JOB......their responsibiliry to the people who hired them....to see to it that these people are doing THEIR jobs!
There are only a handful of really good agencies out there; agencies who only take on the amount of clients that they can serve well. Agencies that aren't just trying to get rich at the expense, frustration and heartbreak of their clients.
To these agencies I say, "Thank You.......God bless You."
To my friends' agency ( and I know you have your "lurkers" who read the forum every day), I say, "Shame on you!!! You take people's money and are good to them ONLY if they don't ask too many questions
or want to know what's going on with their year old case! When you get angry with a client, you threaten to take away their referral. You talk behind your clients backs to other clients and slander them. You make a mockery of God by telling clients that "THEY" can't possibly be a Christian when they question you. WHO do you think you are? It's time to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! It's time to show a little compassion to your clients; at the very least PRETEND that you care!!"
So many people say that once their child is home, you forget all the pain you had to endure at the hand of your agency. You know what? That is not true for everyone. I speak from experience. No, I did not have my friends agency, but I had one just as bad. This Sunday will mark the 3rd anniversary of our Embassy appt. Yes, I am madly in love with my daughter and I am so glad to have her. But, the 16 months of hell that we had to endure to get her home will remain forever in my mind. The really sad part is this.........
Our first adoption went very well; we brought home a beautiful 9 month old daughter 7 years ago. It was such an incredibly happy time!!! By the time we endured the 16 month process of our 2nd, we were so emotionally, spiritually, and financially drained, the JOY we experienced with our first was robbed from us. We were relieved to have her home, but it took months for the depression of the process to lift.
I feel for all of you who have or are experiencing this situation right now. It is JUST NOT FAIR. And, though we all know that alot of things in life aren't fair, it makes it more bitter when it is being caused by uncaring, uncompassionate, unprofessional people.
Dear friend, I love you and I continue to pray for you. It is NOT God who is causing all this delay; He hurts right along with you. May things turn around for you soon.

[annelisa]

Thanks for the PM's and for praying for my friend.
It's sad to see there are others of you out there suffering so much, too.
I hope you all get your children home soon.
God Bless!

[kimy]

My first response is YOU GO GIRL! Good for you speaking your mind and telling the truth.. WE delt with a lot of evilness too in our process and "no " the pain did not go right away.. They stole months from me and my child because they cose to work with some evil coordinators and attorneys..
I hope your friend gets to bring her child home soon.
kim

[Guatemomtobe]

Sounds like you had my agency. So sorry for your friends pain and wait. May they stay strong and keep fighting to bring their child home.

Susan

[myguatbabes]

I have been there done that!! With our first agency it was horrible!!! It took a year and me living in Guatemala and hiring someone to help me finish my daughter's case. During that process, by the grace of God, I did find one of those few good agencies. Now when I see these lousy money-grubbing self-proclaimed Christian agencies doing this to others, it infuriates me too! I feel for your friend, I truly do and I pray that God will intervene on her behalf and bring that baby home soon!!!

Thank you for being strong enough to post what we have all felt for such a long time!!

Blessings

[gwenrenee007]

I'm really sorry that your friend is having such a rough time. I really hope she hears some good news and can get away from her agency because her baby will be home! (((HUGS))) for your friend and she is lucky to have a friend that cares as much as you do.

[purplecat]

Originally Posted by kimy

My first response is YOU GO GIRL! Good for you speaking your mind and telling the truth.. WE delt with a lot of evilness too in our process and "no " the pain did not go right away.. They stole months from me and my child because they cose to work with some evil coordinators and attorneys..
I hope your friend gets to bring her child home soon.
kim

Annelisa and Kimy... It is time for these agencies to be held accountable for their actions/inactions and the actions/inactions of the attornies they hire.

The sad thing is that when things are going good ,then they take credit for their attornies but, when things are going badly, they play the blame game and blame it ALL on the attornies; and say they have no control over them. Well, they have control over who they choose to work with and how honest they are and the way they treat their clients.

No, the pain does not go away ,even after your precious child is home. I have learned from my experience that sometimes you can clutch the past so hard that you are not able to embrace the present. We can not let them rob us of our joy, they have taken enough, already.

As adoptive parents we must take an active role in reforming adoption and preserving the integrtiy of the process and demand better practices from the agencies and attornies. We have a voice...let it be heard. Be your child's advocate.


Prayers and Hugs for your friend!!!!!!!!!!!

JMHO

Cathy

[angelfromabove330]

I was very sad to read about your friends situation and it brought back many painful memories. I just recently brought my son home but went through the same thing. I was told exactly the same thing " It's Gods Timing" and that they would take my referral back for asking questions about my child. It is so sad that people go through this kind of heartache. My heart goes out to her and she will be in my thoughts prayers.

[drjeanne]

UGH! I KNOW you're talking about my agency! Geez...did we all use the same one!?!?!?! What killed me most was hearing that the agency was threatening not only to take client's referrals away but also calling their homestudy social workers and requesting PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS for the adopting parent! Good grief! Talk about kicking people while they're down! and all in the name of God? Sorry but, my God is good and He has NOTHING to do with my agency !

I know your friend....we all know your friend....tell her we are keeping her and her daughter in our prayers!

Jeanne

[drjeanne]

bumping for more prayers. This family really needs it!

Jeanne

[wvamom]

Praying for that family--and for peace for all of you who suffered with a tough process and lack of agency cooperation. I'm so sorry--

Carolyn

[JustBarbara]

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your friend's experience and to invoke God and to threaten to take away a referral or to threaten the adoption in any way is certainly not a Christian or Judaic or any other faith way to conduct business. The adoption process is draining enough - even if it goes through without any barriers/KOs etc - we certainly don't need any "help" like this. I hope everything works out for your friend. Take care - Barbara

[baby_abroad]

It breaks my heart to hear stories like this. It makes me sick that there are people (and agencies) like this out there.

[stephjoel99]

My attorney threated to take our referral away (no she's not a referral, she's a child and she was 8 months old at the time) b/c our file sat at the PGN window for one month and she did not pick it up. The reason I know this is I called hired help and they told me. When I confronted my agency with this information and demanded they hold our atty accountable, they "tattled" on me and our atty ended our adoption. Much, much butt kissing later we got her back.

For "political" reasons that might affect friends who were using this attorney, I did not complain to officials in the US (i.e. Dept. of State, Hague Committee, etc.). But praise the Lord I *am* a Christian (unlike a facilitator who tells you that you are not one b/c you do not lean on God's timing) b/c my God took the hate away for this attorney. I think my attorney is horrible - will always think she's horrible - and I will tell ANYONE who ever asks for a reference that they need to run FAR FAR away from this person - but I do not hate her praise God, b/c that was too much burden for me.

And she is not an isolated incident sadly.

[PetersMom]

My husband had the best response when I told him about this. He said, "They should just hold back their money saying that the agency should just be patient and wait for God's timing on the delivery of the money too!"

Can you imagine if we told our bosses that they should just be patient and we would work when God's timing told us when to show up for work?

And yes, I am a Christian! I'm just tired of people who do these sorts of things and use my Saviour's name to manipulate people whose hearts are already at their mercy!

For the record, we went to China for our second adoption. Our first was domestic. I have never dealt with Guatemala, but I have heard and read way too much. I did contact a very large agency about their China program (didn't go with them) and asked about the Guatemala program and she got very excited and said, "Oh, if you want to go to Guatemala, you can have your baby home by Christmas!" (this was July). I had already read some about Guat adoption and knew that she was trying to reel me in with a situation that could not possibly happen in that amount of time.