[Snow girl]

My son started daycare on Monday. He is 10 months old & I was home with him for 7 weeks. He makes great eye contact with me & cuddles. He also smiles for me some & giggles some, but not a lot. He does tend to be on the serious side, but he laughs & smiles more for hubby.

Today, when my husband dropped him off at daycare he said that Edward seemed really excited to see Sandy. It made me really sad. He is never excited to see me when I come pick him up. He just acknowledges me & keeps playing. I am worried that he now thinks Sandy is his mom.

Am I being irrational? I have to work, but having him in daycare 8-5 is breaking my heart. Any advice & is the attachment to her something I should worry about?

[AndreaP]

My situation is a little different in that my sis is my daycare. That added to my fears that DD would think she was mom instead of me once I went back to work. How about talking to Sandy about what you're trying to accomplish with the bonding & ask her to reinforce it throughout the day? My sis & I talked about my fears before DD even came home & sis has been awesome! We have the added "problem" of DD spending even more time than just 8:00-6:00 with her because of family functions, church, etc. Some things sis does to reinforce me being mommy are:

• Whenever DD would say "mama", sis always refers to me --- something like, "mama is at work, she'll be here to get you later"
• If DD keeps repeating "mama" & the comment above doesn't calm her down, they'll call me at work. I'll talk to DD for about a minute & then she's happy to go back to playing.
• We have a ritual every morning for DD to say good bye to me. Sis holds her up to the window, & they wave until I'm in the car. DD wouldn't wave at first, but now loves to wave & slobber all over the glass saying goodbye to me.
• Wouldn't be as big an issue for you, but sis tries to keep her distance when I'm around so that DD knows when we're all together, I'm her source of comfort, provide for her needs, etc. Ex: last night we were having a family dinner at a restaurant & I was meeting them there to get the kids. As soon as I arrived, sis got up & moved to the opp end of the table & I sat next to DD. I feel things like that send a clear message to DD.
• When I arrive in the evenings to pick DD up, sis always excitedly says something to DD like, "Look who's here!" or "Mommy's here!" & makes a big deal out of it.

All of that being said, I will say that we had a bit of a rough patch the first couple of weeks after I went back to work (DD was 8 1/2 months old, I was home 8 wks). DD wouldn't make eye contact w/ me as long as we were still at sis' house & acted like she preferred sis to me. I tried to make sure I didn't show any frustration to DD because I was afraid any tension she sensed in me would make her even more hesitant to be around me.

Now everything is fine & I feel confident that she loves being w/ sis while I'm away, but knows I'm her mom & I'm the one who is "in charge."

Just keep reinforcing that you're "mommy" and DS will be able to differentiate soon. It's such a mixed emotion when our kids actually love their daycare providers, isn't it? We want them to be happy, but we want them to miss us at the same time. So, no, you're not being irrational, just try not to stress over it too much or DS WILL be able to tell.

[curlyqgyrl]

Okay, I have ran a daycare for 4.5 years, so I will give my opinion
1. Be VERY thankful that he IS happy! between 8-18 months, is the absolute most difficult time for a child to just begin daycare. I have had kids take MONTHS to get use to it starting late. Its truely heartbreaking! So his happiness is awesome!! It may of course change, and he may eventually start getting seperation anxiety, but the fact that he is so happy now is just great!
2. I have had many many kids around that age SCREAM when their parents come and just cling to me. They litterally have had to be pried off of me. Am I better than mom or dad? Absolutly NOT. Its just phases and stages. I have had some parents address exactly what you said and have the same concerns. It all equals out because the next week they may hate me and scream when their parents leave.