[mya1]

I already have one beautiful 2 year old daughter from Guat and would love for her to have a sister. She has brought so much joy to my life. I am 48 and who knows how old I will be if I start the process all over again now. Any older moms or dads out there questioning if perhaps they are told to start this journey?

[Jeremiahsmommy]

Just sending some good luck with your decision vibes. If you are feeling this way, I would say go for it. Your daughter would love a sister and obviously you are a great Mom, just another child your love too! It's never too late, or you are never to old to love a child! I'm not your age, but if I was feeling this way I would adopt. I've been blessed with a biological brother for Jeremiah to love and care for.

[mommy_again]

Naw! You aren't but a kid. My husband and I are adopting (our Adoptive daughter is 2 in May) and we are both 56! We have 10 of our own bio children and 7 grandchildren. We are young and healthy and ready to go! Honestly, if you have the heart to give a loving home to a child in need, we think that there are some real advantages to older parenting. I'm sure that some would think we are crazy - I have wondered that myself! Only you can answer that for yourself but I definitely would not think that 48 is old.

Our 7th child after working on a mission trip in Mexico in a special needs orphanage said to us "Why wouldn't we take another child? We have so much. It wouldn't alter our lives much but it would sure change the life of one child" He convinced my hesitant heart.

deb

[dgettel]

I turn 47 this year and already have 3 toddler boys. I am still on the fence, but am definitely open to one more if I "get the call".

If you have family and friends around to lean on in times of need, you will be fine. Do not let your age get in the way of your dreams.

Diane

[purplecat]

If you have the love and desire to adopt again... go for it! Love knows no boundaries, not even age. Follow your heart!

Cathy

[carlyincali]

I personally wouldn't worry about it. If you are healthy I think you should go for it.

If you are really worried about it, maybe you can find a little girl who is the same age, not necessarilly younger. (I know how you feel about wanting your daughter to have a sister. My girls are 2 years apart. They are 8 & 10 and they are the best of friends.)

[jemmawag]

Whenever I bring up #4 my DH says he is afraid he will be too old. He is 44. Although he was willing a few months ago but that fell through. He says it was a sign he is too old. I don't think that age is the problem, he has had alot on him recently and the stress has just worn him down. I hope another opportunity comes our way and that he will reconsider.

[csimpkins]

My husband and I are both 41. He thinks we are to old but I don't. His concern is for the child and how he/she would handle us being so much older than the other parents.

[Yelena]

DH thought he was all done having kids -- his 3 daughters from his previous marriage are now 16, 18, and 20. He was looking forward to being a grandpa, not to starting all over again! But...

...we started discussing #4 when he was 49, and one of his biggest concerns was his age. By the time all the "discussion" was done and Juliana was home, he was 53 (and I was 37). And he is the best dad ever. He says that Juliana is a pure joy, and he's so glad I talked him in to having "just one more."

Truthfully, he does worry about when she's a teenager and he's close to 70 -- will she be embarrassed by having an older dad? He's already been asked if she's his granddaughter. What if he doesn't live to see her graduate from high school or college? But I tell him that teenagers will be embarrassed by their parents for myriad reasons, and he could die tomorrow (I hope not!). We can't live life based on the "what ifs."

The best thing you can give your children is unconditional love, and there is no age limit on that.

[Findingfamily5]

I definitely say follow your heart. I am older than you and I just brought home my little son in November and he is the light of my life. (I have two in college and ten year old twins) I would adopt another in a heartbeat.

[JustBarbara]

As Satchmo said ... Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter ...

Seriously, I know people who were "old" when they were in their 30s and there are many in their 40s and 50s who can run a marathon, have lots of energy etc. So, no, if you want to adopt another child I'd say, go for it.

By the time your kiddos are teenagers they will be surrounded by others who have older parents ... and I just don't think it will be a huge deal - Good luck in whatever you decide to do - Barbara

[maham0]

I agree...you never know what will happen to you even tomorrow and I know many of my friends who have had their parents die or get very ill when they (the children) were in their 20s, etc. If you have the love and desire to take care of a beautiful new life, do it with all of your heart so that you can live with no regrets.

[mardong]

Don't wait too long... if you feel inclined to do it, don't wait till your daughter is too old!! Your age should not be an impediment, as long as you are healthy and can take care of her needs!!

[guategranny]

FOLLOW YOUR HEART....NO ONE HAS THE PROMISE OF TOMORROW. GOOD PARENTING ISN'T ABOUT A PERSON'S AGE, RATHER IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH THE LOVING KINDNESS ONE HAS FOR OTHERS. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAYINGS IS ONE FROM RALPH WALDO EMERSON WHO ASNWERED HIS SON'S QUESTION ABOUT WHAT WAS IMPORTANT IN LIFE BY REPLYING, "BE KIND, BE KIND, BE KIND." HOW TRUE...GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION!

[~Periwinkle~]

I realize that this post is uninvited, and at the risk of butting in, I just wanted to share my experience. I am the daughter of a woman who was 45 when she gave birth to me. She is now 79, and at 34 I find myself taking care of my four kids and my mom.

Though overall she's very healthy, she does have arthritis and back pain that make it difficult for her to get around. She also has the beginnings of dementia, I fear due to Alzheimer's. Age is the single most causal factor in Alzheimer's. According to the National Institute on Aging, "About 5 percent of men and women ages 65 to 74 have AD, and nearly half of those age 85 and older may have the disease....
The number of people with the disease doubles every 5 years beyond age 65."

Alizheimer's is just one of many diseases in which one's risks increase with age. As my mom gets older, I find myself in the sad position of wanting to spend time with my kids, but needing to take care of my mom--and I forsee her care becoming more and more complicated as she gets older. Luckily my dad is ten years younger than she is, so he's able to do a lot, but if it weren't for him, I'd really feel overwhelmed. As it is, I'm sad that she can't play with, lift, and interact with her grandchildren in the same way that my father can.


I have to admit that I wish that my mom had been younger when she had me. Obviously I'm glad that she did have me--I'm alive due to her willingness to sacrifice and raise me even when I'm sure she was ready to be DONE having kids (I'm #7). But, that having been said, I can't help but wish that she were younger--so that I would have more years with her in my life, so that my kids would have more years to get to know her, and, honestly, so that I wouldn't have to face the awful burden of caring for her and potentially losing her when I still feel so young myself.


I hear people saying, "Go for it! You're young! It's never too late! Age is just a matter of attitude." I agree in part--the most important thing a parent can offer is unconditional love, and the rest (age, race, etc.) shouldn't and doesn't matter. And yet, even if a person is healthy and young-at-heart like my mom has been all her life, things can change. As age sneaks up, abilities decline. At some point (and I'm not saying I know what that point is--I'm sure those of you who have faced the choice of parenting at an older age have considered this more thoughtfully than I have), I believe it's unfair to the child to run the risk of becoming ill, becoming incapacitiated, or, God forbid, dying while the child is still too young to be able to cope.


I apologize to the original poster that I've offered unsolicited feedback. I'm honestly not trying to judge anyone's decisions or suggest that anyone has made an inappropriate choice--I don't think anyone can judge anyone else unless they've walked a mile in his or her shoes. I just wanted to share my perspective, since I sensed that the poster was looking for honest opinions. This is my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

--Periwinkle