[kathleenmarie]

but, why do people loose referrals? no DNA match? birth mother changes mind?

Thanks,
Kathy

[BarbnJeff]

We have recently lost 2 girl referrals.

The first one we lost because of potential complications with the case. The birthmother was initially signing the papers but our attorney was not comfortable with the case and saw potential problems down the road. We had complete trust in her decision. In this case we lost her before we officially accepted the referral. We had sent our POA but had not wired any $.

The second referral we got through DNA. It was a match. The birthmother changed her mind. She was young and her parents told her they would help her raise her daughter.

We now have a boy referral and are waiting for DNA authorization. Hoping and praying he is meant to be our son and their is a reason for our recent heartache. I believe there is a reason for everything and one day we will understand it all.

That's my story.
Barb

[aliciaw]

We lost our first referral 3 months into the process. His Birthmother changed her mind when she saw him at the DNA testing.

[wertygirl]

We lost our first referral because the DNA did not match. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often. The majority of referrals work out just fine.

Good luck!

[gibbs7263]

We "lost" our first referral about 3 mos after accepting because the bmom was a minor and had not told her father and he refused sign off from what we were told. We could have went ahead with it, but it may have not worked out according to our agency and attorney.

[WVUMom418]

We lost our first referral after 3 months because the paternal grandfather came forward and wanted to raise her.

[nathansvolunteers]

We lost our referral (but then miraculously got her back, but that's a whole other story!) after she was 10 months old and had been in (and out) of PGN for over 6 months, due to a reviewer with an anti-adoption stance that would not accept the Mom's birth certificate as valid.


Cindy

[doctormom]

Birth mother had two cedulas (government-issued ID cards), both supposedly valid but one should have been cancelled before she got the second. PGN wouldn't let her rectify the problem so it's still sitting stuck in PGN. This wasn't for the child I was trying to adopt, it was for her biological sibling. I waited for 14 months for DNA authorization thinking (being told by an unethical agency) that this problem would be worked out soon.

Very uncommon. Extremely uncommon. No one quite knows how to fix it. Good news for everyone else, bad news for me and these two little girls stuck without families.

[Betelnut]

I lost two referrals.

The first was because the agency noticed (after about 7 weeks) that the birth certificate had some discrepancies and someone had "whited out" sections of it. They told me that the PGN would probably not like that and would hold up the adoption indefinitely because of it. So they pulled the plug. I had done my POA, sent the first half of the country fee and paid for DNA (which luckily got transferred to my next case).

The second referral fell through after about three weeks because the mother changed her mind. The birth had actually raised the child for about 10 months before relinguishing her, so obviously she (the birth mother) was very attached. I hadn't done a POA for that one, thank goodness.

My agency said that once a case goes to the PGN, referrals are very, very rarely pulled. They also recommended not visiting until the case went to the PGN for that very reason.

[theather]

I had been in PGN for 4 weeks when I had to stop my adoption due to an accident which resulted in a severe head injury. It was very hard, but I know I made the right decision and I can not wait for my new baby girl to come home.

[waitingforjack]

We have lost 2 referrals. The first one happened after waiting in PGN for 6 months. PGN determined the birth mom's documents(we don't know which) were falsified and the birth mom got scared and wanted out. But she didn't want to retain custody, so it is in investigation now. We are hoping to adopt someday, but it is unknown at this time.
The 2nd referral we turned down after the little baby(only a month or 2 old) had cerebral bleeding and it was slow getting a medical report. So we turned it down.
We now are going to pick up our little girl this weekend! So it works out eventually!

[rapf777]

You are absoulutly right about what you wrote and possible more reasons tool

Rose