[bellasmommy]

I AM SO UPSET AFTER READING THIS ARTICLE: I would love to have all your opionions on how to respond to this article. I feel this person needs to hear how you can love your adopted child just as much as your bio. child. I just cant' sit back on this one!!!!
Thanks so much, Michelle

I read this New York Times article on writer Rebecca Walker's Book Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalance.

The most incendiary notion in "Baby Love" may be that, for Ms. Walker, being a stepparent or adoptive parent involves a lesser kind of love than the love for a biological child.


In an interview, Ms. Walker boiled the difference down to knowing for certain that she would die for her biological child, but feeling "not sure I would do that for my nonbiological child."

"I mean, it’s an awful thing to say," said Ms. Walker, who in a previous relationship helped rear a female partner’s biological son, now 14. "The good thing is he has a biological mom who would die for him."

[JEA2005]

I read that article, too, and it really made me mad. Then I decided to "consider the source" - it is clearly an uninformed opinion by someone who is only getting attention because of her famous mother.

[MadiMom]

I feel very sorry for her. To feel that way she must have a cold and unfeeling life. I feel for any child under her care

[Pipercub]

Oh geez. Thankfully she speaks only for herself and not all adopting parents everywhere. What a pitiful statement.

[jandc]

How sad for her to lead a life so still ambivalent. She obviously does not know the meaning of true love and motherhood.

[becky]

I will tell you that you do not have to worry. In fact the exact words out of my husband's mouth when I walked through the door to our house with Bella coming home from Guatemala is that the moment he saw her he knew he would give his life for her.

That woman is nuts. I feel exactly the same amount of love for her as I do for the rest of my bio kids...in fact sometimes I think I may love her more because I feel so blessed to get to be her mother!!!

[SKL]

Wow, I was just thinking the other day of how far I would go to meet my babies' needs, and I haven't even seen them in person yet.

Funny the things people can get paid for writing.

[Hopingsoon]

That's just sickening. I can't imagine a stronger love than the one I have for my adopted child. For me, adoption was a choice, because as far as I know, I can have a bio child. It never even occurred to me that someone would think the love could be different, or that one is better than the other.

[wvamom]

You know, the great thing about this country is that people can express their beliefs, and can believe whatever they want to...no matter how wacky those ideas might seem to us. I think the fact that she recognizes that she is incapable of adequately loving an adopted child should be a good sign to her--not to adopt!

For our part, we love our children equally. Our adopted son is a delight to us, and we anticipate our son that we are in the process of adopting, to be as well. Adoption has just opened up a whole new avenue of love for us.

Carolyn

[jeannecr]

She has never adopted, so she clearly has no idea what she is talking about. My son is the first and only human being I've ever felt I'd give my life for.

[MaddysMomsie]

Im just seeing this post about this book baby love...cannot resist to comment after looking through the authors website. In her webblog she writes how "Daughters need mothers to be mothers: unconditionally loving, not competitive, etc". How perfectly ridiculous, I guess Im not a REAL mom eh?

HER vision of love for a baby other then her own blood, has limits, no biological material in this baby---then, not my baby.

With so many adoptions how could she know nothing of the unconditional love we MOTHERS all have for our daughters/sons??

There is no difference in loving a bio or adopted child except the difference she has put in her mindset.

I'd be fine if she sat in her million dollar home in Hawaii and thought it "just " in there, then it's just her opinion; BUT NOT when it's allowed to invade public perception. It is NOT okay to spread messages about loving babies and motherhood while purposfully excluding a whole demographic of parents/mothers and stepparents, even my daughters great grannie is insulted an called her a nit wit! lol.. How distastefull and obtuse. Should be titled: No love for babies but i try to look good while Im on tour....
Kim

[SKL]

Funny, I saw a similar comment recently to the effect that it's impossible to love an adopted child as much as a bio child. My response was that I was glad SHE would never adopt a child. At least we have that.

On another topic, I must say my favorite word in the whole English language is "nitwit." Such a tiny word but it says it all. Go great granny!

[purplecat]

How sad!!!


We love our bio children and our adopted children with ALL of our HEARTS!

Quote:

There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.

Cathy

[Findingfamily5]

what a totally stupid thing to say. I can say that without a doubt I would give my life for any of my children(two bio, three adopted) There is no difference, and I am always amazed that some people think that adopted children are less loved.

[LRA]

Who is her famous mother? Perhaps her mother should have washed her mouth out with soap more. Just Kidding


Just tonight my daughter said, you know sometimes I forget that he came from Guatemala (while smooching him) My hubby replied "oh yeah, then where do you think he came from?" She smiled and said..out of Mommy's tummy, just like me.

I just had a thought....don't we basically go thru heck and back to get these kids home...I think sometimes dying would be easier than this whole process. I'd say she has spoken like a true person who has never suffered the misery of infertility or PGN.