[hesabanana]

Let me start by saying that I adore my kids, really. But this stay at home stuff is killing me. The baby is fine one minute and screaming the next, the 3 year old is jealous and acting out, and my house is a disaster. The kids don't even nap at the same time, so I don't ever get a break. I feel terrible that I am having such a hard time, but I am, and I am not enjoying this much. I generally feel competent in most of the things I do, but today I have been at a loss. I do not want to turn into one of those mothers who yells, but the 3 year old does not respond to anything else. He dumps food on the floor, spits, and back talks all day. As I am typing this, I just had to tell him for the 10th time to stop kicking/hitting/climbing on the jumperoo. Why is it I can manage 20 staff and 350 patients but can't handle two kids without losing my mind?
Ugh. Tomorrow is another day.

[shellysarita]

Oh, sweetie! I could have written your post on many different days! Just remember, you are all adjusting to your new addition. My 4.5 year old is still a bit jealous and feels he's been kicked out of the baby position. Give all of you more time. Oh, and I do suggest watching the SuperNanny. I've picked up a few tips along the way that do actually work. hang in there!

Love, Shelly

[wvamom]

I'm sorry--I know this "adjustment period" is especially tough--and I'm about to know it more, since like you, we have a three year old and hopefully soon will be bringing home a 1 year old.

Here is an article you can probably relate to, on how to bake "mother's cake." At least maybe it will make you smile. It was in our newspaper, the Charleston Daily Mail, yesterday.

MOTHER'S CAKE

1. Preheat oven and collect all utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toys from the counter and grease pans.

2. Crack nuts and measure out 2 cups of flour. Remove Johnny's hands from flour. Wash flour off Johnny. Re-measure flour.

3. Put flour, baking powder and salt into sifter. Get out dustpan to clean up pieces of broken bowl Johnny has knocked on the floor. Answer doorbell, return to kitchen and remove Johnny's hands from new bowl. Wash Johnny again.

4. Answer telephone, return, wash spilled salt from greased pan. Answer phone again, then look for Johnny. Remove toy from bowl and notice a layer of nutshells on bottom of greased pan. Grease another pan.

5. Head for Johnny, who flees and knocks the second bowl off the counter.

6. Wash kitchen floor, counter, walls and dishes. Call bakery and order cake. Lie down and pull blanket up over your head.

Can anyone relate?

[annaguat]

It takes a lot of work and even then with the best intent there are those days. Declutter, structure and routine help tons. Also those techniques that super nanny uses really work. I don't a have a three yr old right now but that can be more challenging age then the terrible two-s. Besure that you get some time to yourself in there. Hugs, Anna mama to 11

[jillbee]

lol wvamom! I always think that the prep time on recipes should say something like "prep time 20 minutes (plus or minus an hour depending on the number and ages of your kids)."

[KellyMigoya]

I admire you.
That is why I work. We are all different and I am a better mother to my children because I do. I am very lucky to have my own firm and have alot of flexibility, a husband who is with them some during the week, a day I work out of the house and a nanny they think is alot more fun than I am! For us and for my children, it works.
Good luck to you and my hat is off to you!

[Larue]

Good thing God make em cute...huh?! Total rookie Mom here, with no kiddos at home...yet! But it sounds to me like your 3-year old has a good old fashioned case of sibling rivalry, and is acting out because he is no longer the center of Mama's attention. Sounds like you need some reinforcements. Time to circle the wagons.

Is there someone who can come over to help out? A friend, a relative, some hired help? To give Mama a little break? Even an hour or two a couple of times a week?
Sending some good vibes your way!!!

[JosieWales]

Hesa, I don't have kids home yet...but I've been warned these days occur! ((Hugs)) and good luck!!!!

[jules17]

Hesa, I am sending you HUGS! I am sure that you are a FANTASTIC mom!! It is a huge transition for everyone...try to be patient with yourself??

Sometimes, and it is rare (Thank you, God) that Sam gets fussy, I find myself "talking through it" with him. It may sound silly, but he totally loves it...must be the therapist in me.

Also, when feeling overwhelmed, I do things in 5 or 10-minute increments. As in, I can't clean the entire kitchen right now, but I can tidy it up for 5 or 10 minutes. It makes it all more manageable.

I finally made an appt. to get my roots done the other day and just for that hour...I was so relaxed I felt like I was in the Bahamas!!!

Maybe you could take a breather and just get away for an hour?

Hugs!!! (p.s. I realize I am saying all of the above as the mom of one and it is going to be another world when baby brother comes home!!)

[jemmawag]

I recently took my aunt on a visit trip, she has decided should something happen to me she just cannot be gaurdian to my kids. My 2 bios are ages 3 and 10. DS is almost 2. My house is often chaos but we are used to it. It's amazing what seems so normal for us can be so unsettling for others(aunt). My kids are good kids but active and love to pick on each other! Mess is just part our existance. Right now I am typing to the sounds of my daughter's scream and my son's giggles. I wonder what is going on now?!!

[ncurry3]

I agree, some women make better mom's when they work. My sister is one of them. She was off work for 2 months after she had her son and she couldn't handle it. For some women, it's better for them to work full time or part time and some prefer to be SAHM. There's no right or wrong, just what is better for YOU!!!! Maybe have a glass (or bottle!) of wine and relax LOL!

[hesabanana]

Thanks for the support guys. I will be returning back to work on April 2, and I think that is the best fit for me. My husband came home and took the baby to the store, my 3 year old is asleep, and I am relaxing!

[rapf777]

Praying that you will get some peace real soon!!!

Rose

[dayzeb126]

I know it is hard. I give so much credit to stay at home moms. Hang in there it will get better.....

[Faith58]

Okay now I'm nervous. I have a three year old and my one year old is coming home in 2 weeks. I have often thought on days like today that I don't know how I would do it with two. My 3 year old was totally out of control today and I couldn't imagine a 1 yr. old in the mix. You'll get the routine down and when you do please let me know what I need to do when my dd comes home. Good Luck things will get better.