[csw]

Hi
I know I posted a thread awhile back about what hours are best to work with a 3 year old (who has never been in daycare before) and a 15 year old (no, he can't babysit his sister d/t his special needs)..

I am an RN with over 21 years at the bedside..20 in critical care. To tell you the truth I am a bit burned out with the direct patient care..I currently work "as needed" float pool in ICU weekends only, but am having trouble getting shifts. Ana's special gluten free/casein free diet is extremely expensive and her other treatments are not cheap either..she has made tremendous progress though. Both our vehicles are ready to fall apart etc..so its to the point I have no choice..

I am being offered 2 positions.

One 8-4:30 M-F..sort of a desk job but it does involve the patients so I can't just take off work for doctors apointments etc..without having someone cover for me..sounds a bit rigid and inflexible..but no weekends or nights and probably no holiday's..benefits, 5 weeks vacation, 401K etc..I already have 16 years at this place so I could continue with my retirement plans..no heavy lifting, no cleaning up diarrhea etc..
Will need to pay parking, daycare, pack her special gluten free foods for breakfast, lunch and snacks..

OR..

Weekend only..work 24, paid 32..no benefits except I can contribute to something like a IRA but no employer matching..only 2 or 3 weekends off per year..
Free parking, no daycare expenses, wouldn't have to pack her food ..

The pay would work out the same..the first is higher, but subract daycare and parking, tolls etc..its the same pay as the weekend only job...

So..
Never have to lift or clean up poop, but have the stress of childcare, wardrobe, commuting 5 days a week (1 hour each way)

vs

Heavy patient care, on my feet for 12 hours a day/night, more time with Ana during the week, but not seeing teenage son or husband on weekends..

Ana is kind of like an only child since her brother is so much older than her..some days she is really bored, even with her preschool 9 hours a week and MOM's club activities..some days I wonder if she would be better off with other kids..but then she is still so clingy at times..

I need to decide today..I was shocked I got the other job M-F as other folks have applied with MS degree's and I only have a BSN degree..I cried when I got off the phone with the secretary telling me I got it..does that tell me something?

[starryeyes]

If those were tears of joy you cried when you got the M-F job, take the M-F job. It sounds like a good break from heavy patient care and sometimes you need that.

Good luck!

[Anne1377]

Hi Cath,

I can't give you any advice but just want you to know that I am thinking of you and trust that you will make the best decision for your family.

When is a good time for me to call you?


Diane

[LucyLuMyLuv]

I have been in your position -- well at least similar. I chose the M-F job and have never regretted it.

[shelbydog]

I would also choose the M-F job vs. the weekend. You would be home in the late afternoon/evenings with your entire family, after school activities, etc. Benefits are a huge plus. Your 3 yr old will be heading to preschool/kindergarten soon too, right? So in a year or two you'd only be home for one child during the day if you did the weekend job. The weekend job sounds like it would interfere too much with "normal life" and you feeling as though you get a break. Good luck and I'm sure you will make the right decision either way.

[Mariais5]

While I hate working at all, LOL, I would take the M-F.. As the previous poster said, benefits are a definite plus.. Your daughter will be going to school in a couple of years too..

Even though you'd get more time with your daughter with the weekend job, it sounds like you wouldn't be spending much time with the men in your life... There's something to be said about lazy Saturday and Sunday afternoons with the family...

I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your family... You know what will work better than anyone else... Sending prayers that the best decision becomes obvious to you.. :-)

[TerriBB]

Go with the m/f job...don't mess with your weekends. You would miss so much more with your family if you worked weekends! You little girl will be in school m/f very soon - you're just getting into it a bit early.

I've always worked outside the home m/f. Search for daycare that you LOVE. My commute is short, but I love the 1/2 hour each evening that my son fills me in on his day!

We plan to do something fun as a family each weekend. I've found that we are much more organized by everyone "pitching in" on the other weekend day.
Good Luck!!!

[dianneemily]

I agree with the others. M-F sounds the best of the two options. A key would be to find a daycare that you a really happy and comfortable with. Ana may enjoy going to daycare with friends now that she is a bit older and you can have some family time on the weekends.

[csw]

Hi
Thanks so much..they were not tears of joy..I think the thought of leaving her for 40 hours a week plus 2 hours a day commute made me cry..I agree M-F would be more of a routine..I am very used to working alot of weekends anyways..every other one since I have been 16 years old..

So its around 50 hours a week gone from her with the M-F and around 28 hours a week gone from her with the weekend only..

I don't know why I am so stressed about this..I am going to tour a daycare center today..she is in Montessori 9 hours a week and we would have to add before and after care to those days till June, esp since her school is already paid for..

I had thoughts of homeschooling her, I think that is why I am having such a hard time deciding..

Thanks again..

Oh Diane..
I will email you..

[Slatond10]

Just saying good luck with your decision. My DD goes to Montessori and it is a very good school/daycare environment.

[longingforchildren]

If it were me, I would take the monday - friday job as it gives your DD time to spend with other kids and learn that she isn't the only one in the world, plus then she will have friends and it is like a pre-pre- kendergarten, she gets used to sharing, and other kids before the time comes. (totally not saying that she doesn't now, I am just saying that it would give *any* child more interaction)

[saranbr]

This is only my opinion and I have no idea what advice you are getting cause I don't have time to read the other responses now-- but from having followed your story with Ana and all your family has been through (and being in the ICU setting myself, albeit with babies) I think you need a "break" (if you can call work that!) during the week, even if only for a while. Just cause you do this now, doesn't mean you resign yourself to 9-5 for the rest of your working career. Ana has had 3 years of intense one on one time with you, she is well bonded and just might enjoy the higher paced daycare setting for a while. She seems like a really active kiddo.

If you take the weekend position-- I know from having pulled that for awhile-- it will take you two days to recover and then you have all the home action all week before you go back. It's tough on the family to be gone all weekend every weekend. I purposefully hired a babysitter and will not work more than every other weekend even though many would say the "best" thing for my child would be for me to be home all week. We need a little family time too, and not just the evening when DH gets home at 7pm!

Best wishes with your decision, Sara

[annaguat]

From what you are telling us I fully agree with this poster. Best wishes either way. Anna

Originally Posted by shelbydog

I would also choose the M-F job vs. the weekend. You would be home in the late afternoon/evenings with your entire family, after school activities, etc. Benefits are a huge plus. Your 3 yr old will be heading to preschool/kindergarten soon too, right? So in a year or two you'd only be home for one child during the day if you did the weekend job. The weekend job sounds like it would interfere too much with "normal life" and you feeling as though you get a break. Good luck and I'm sure you will make the right decision either way.

[Pudding]

Stop being so hard on yourself. Cut yourself a little slack! You have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that your children are your first priority. Ana will be fine in daycare. I send my little girl to a preshool and she loves it. Perhaps the teachers at the daycare can provide a learning environment that would stimulate Ana in all kinds of ways, socially & academically. Let us know how it goes!

Beth