[mombyfaith]

Yesterday Chloe & I rode with DH to the car parts store. Chloe wanted to go in and help Daddy so here we go bopping in after him. An older guy was standing at the counter he took one mean look at Chloe and then at DH & myself. He slapped a can of stuff on the counter and said as loud as he could "do you have any of this that doesn't have spanish writing on it?" the clerk said pardon me, the guy hollered again "I said do you have any of this without spanish writing, I will buy it but only if it doesn't have any of that old spanish junk on it". I am sick of seeing spanish writing, spanish people, spanish, spanish, spanish, everyone where you turn its spanish.
My dh is a pastor and he had to turn his head and it was all he could do not to say anything to this ignorant jerk. The guy pays for the can and stomps off right by us, and Chloe waves and with her sweet self tells the jerk "bye bye".
I told DH I was proud of him, that if our ds (18) had of been there he would have hit him, probably went to jail, and then asked the Lord to forgive him.
With tears in his eyes, DH(pastor) just said "I WANTED TOO"!
This really got me to thinking at 23 mos old, Chloe didn't know he was talking about her, but in another few years she will know that these ignorant jerks are talking about her, how do we prepare them for this?
It breaks my heart to think how hurtful people can be over skin color.

[PRINCESS1976]

Awww..... so sorry you had to experience this ........ But just know that your daughter is BEAUTIFUL !!

[JosieWales]

That guy makes my stomach sick; I literally feel like I'm going to throw up. Jerk doesn't begin to cover it. Esp looking at that beautiful little girl of yours--how could anyone not see her as precious and perfect?

After all, we're all just people.

Hugs to you and your family--and bless your DH for being so strong!

[amyruston]

Okay, crying now, again, why am I so emotional lately?? Anyway, I'm SO, SO sorry this happened to you and your family!! I will never understand, never. I'm not sure how I will react to those situations, but I'm not sure I will be able to hold back those emotions to want to let the guy in on what a racist jerk he is!

She is so absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!

[stephjoel99]

That just hurt me so badly to hear that. I can only imagine how it must have made you and your husband feel to experience something so horrible - praise the Lord your daughter is too young to understand what happened. We really do live in a fallen world, so unfortunately I guess we're just going to have to prepare our children for the realities of racism. ((((HUGS))))) I'm so sorry.

[CurlysGirly]

I applaud your DH for holding his cool. Your daughter is precious and I cannot fathom how someone could be so cruel!

I have always been one to stand my ground when I hear anyone degrading people based on race, religion, orientation, mental ability, etc. I have absolutely no patience for it. I have been trying to imagine how I would handle someone's inappropriate behavior. I can only hope that I have the fortitude that your DH had.

[jeck]

Oh I so hate that this happened! It is so sad that people can't see past skin color or any kind of difference. I think your hubby did the right thing! There are just some people that no matter what we say they will not change and I believe that guy was one of them. He was not worth wasting your breathe over. Yes your daughter unfortunetly will encounter this at some point but she will learn who is worth telling off and who is not. On someone like this I would tell her that we have to pray for him and let God change is heart.

I dread this part of bringing my son home. We live in a very rural part of Kentucky and there is not much diversity here and I know we will encounter this and I just hate.

Thinking of you!
Jessica

[Larue]

Wow! I feel so bad for you. I am so sorry that you encountered this jerk. I'd really like to use a stronger word here, but the Forum doesn't permit it! I really admire you and your husband for keeping your cool, and not escalating the situation. I know that I will struggle with this when it happens to me.

Sending hugs to you

[tallsuse]

First of all, you have the prettiest, happiest, sweetest looking little girl!! She's adorable! Second of all, thank you for sharing this. That is beyond awful, but it does help to see what experiences may be out there for all of us. Thank you for sharing this hurtful experience. I think I would have started throwing cans at the guy or started crying or I don't know what. Y'all were amazing in how you handled this.

Thanks for sharing.

TallSuse
07/27/06 - Application submitted to Agency
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09/26/06 - Home Study received by USCIS
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12/08/06 - James Kaden born 6 lbs 3 oz
01/03/06 - Referral

[dancingmyrtle]

....you have to tell her that this is going to happen.

You asked for advice, and I can tell you from personal experience - - this is what you HAVE to do. It will not be comfortable, and she will not understand at first. But you MUST do this to prepare her for what is to come. You don't need to make a federal issue of it, you just need to casually mention that some people are ignorant (or whatever word you choose, but that is what my mom used and it worked for me, I got it) and just do not know certain things. You'll need to explain that some people only feel comfortable around people who look just like themselves. Explain that there is NOTHING wrong with her, in fact, it's just the opposite, that they are the ones with the problem. Tell her that maybe these people didn't have parents who explained to them that every human being has the right to be treated nicely, so they just don't know. Teach her that she will decide, as she grows older, how to respond to these people.

It is a shame that you do have to do this, but honestly, it will be more of a shame if it takes her by surprise one day because you didn't do it. It will be SOOOOO much better and easier for this information to come from you, loving mom, who can hold her and hug her and love her directly afterwards, than it will be coming from a kid on the playground, an ignorant man such as the one you encountered, a teacher, or some other person off the street. It is the right thing to do as a parent and she will love and respect you for it, especially when she is an adult and is well-equipped to deal with these people, who by the way, she will deal with for the rest of her life.

As you might be able to tell, this is something about which I feel passionate, because I've lived it. :-)

[carrie2adopt]

First, your daughter is gorgeous! Second...I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut. I probably would have talked loudly to my daughter and said something like Well, it's a good thing you're Guatemalan and not Spanish! I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I personally AM in part, of Spanish heritage too. Ignorance...gotta teach our kids to let it slide right off. People like that aren't worth the effort in stressing over what they say.

[bizzee]

People like this, in actuality, hate themselves so they project their self-hatred onto others. They deserve our pity and our prayers to open their hearts and minds to the world around them. The saddest part about this man is all he is denying himself because his heart is filled with hatred.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this! Your child is beautiful!

I totally agree with dancinmyrtle - preparing our children for these events is so very important. And teaching them to see others not with hurt or anger in their hearts for their hatefulness will teach them to both accept and love themselves and in turn, forgive others for their faults. JMHO.

[melissa41]

I am so sorry for you. This is so, so sad and yet a reality that our children might face someday. I am very impressed with people who can keep their cool; I am working on that. I think the advice given is really good (for me to hear as well.)

God Bless You and your family.

[jandc]

I'm with your ds, I would have wanted to hit him. But I absolutely LOVE your daughter's actions, a smile, a wave, and a bye bye! Seems like that is the way to handle it, now how do we preserve that as we get older? I'd love to know. What an angry, unhappy, pitiful man that guy must be. Seems like his karma is coming back at him. Your daughter is beautiful and your dh is a special man. I am sure he wanted to hit that guy, but what a testiment to his spirit and strength that he did not. What a blessing your family is to this world!

[mommywannabee]

This is so sad...I don't know what I would have done if I had been in your shoes, but I can say that you handled it like an adult - unlike the other guy...

My husband always says "what goes around, comes around" ...