[danabyers]

My mother in law offered to host a come and go party for friends and family who have financially and prayerfully supported our adoption (we fundraised around $20,000) to meet our daughter when she comes home. I am very cautious about forming a solid bond and attachment with our daughter, and she will be around 16 months old at the time. However, I also think that she'll be facing so much change that 2 hours of seeing strangers come and go might not be much to add to the difficulty of her adjustment - and it'd be best to cram it into a short amount of time instead of telling people they can't come to our home to see her at all until after we've been home several weeks. If we do this type of event, it'll be about a week after we're home and I plan to hibernate with her for a few weeks following.

Anyone host something like this and it go well with your child? or wish you hadn't done this??

I appreciate your thoughts and experiences! Thanks

PS - It's been recommended to me that we just invite people to see us arrive at the airport, but the schedule of the airline to which points were donated to us so weo could fly free only has one flight land each day in our city - it lands at 11pm!!!

[kardari]

In my opinion, I would say wait a few weeks before you bring a bunch of people around. Its such an adjustment for your little one already with the change. I decided not to have company over for a few weeks and Im glad I did that, even though my son is much younger, he did get sick from the climate change and all the travel. We also had a lot of one on one time wich is always good for a new adjustment. It is ultimately up to you and Im sure your friends and family will totaly understand any concerns you may have. Good luck.

[gibbar]

We have 20 people waiting for us at the airport. It was too hard for us to push family away who supported us through the process. We had a party the next day and she did fine. She would let others hold her but she always looked around until she spotted us. We have not had any problems with bonding. She is very attatched to us and her brothe

[jules17]

We are going to host an open house for Sam after he has been home a while. Ultimately when we have it depends on him and how he is doing. It definitely won't be for at least 3 weeks. We want him to get settled and we also want to learn his schedule and plan accordingly. I think what works is different for every family; this is just what our family has decided. I can understand that you don't want to "let people down" after they have been so supportive to you - but truly, they will want want is best for your family and will/should understand.

I do think the "open house" or "come and go" party works well as everyone has a chance to meet the baby without lingering too long. For us, it is a no brainer as we have so many people scrambling to meet him and saying, "Bring him over." Umm, no.

We are also not having anything at the airport. We just want to keep it quiet, but again, that is just us.

I wish you success in your decisions!

[Yelena]

What a wonderful mother-in-law you have!

Juliana came home at 7 months, and we did a small-scale homecoming "party" with 3 people (DH's teenage daughters) on the fourth day that she was home. I wanted to wait, but the girls were bursting at the seams waiting to finally see their new sister (they don't live with us). We made it clear from the beginning that this was not the time to play "pass the baby," and they understood. It was difficult, but they respected our need to bond. They stayed about 2 hours and just hung out in the background, watching the baby from a short distance. Juliana seemed perfectly fine with this.

My mom was there, too, but she had already met the baby. I just couldn't make my mom wait -- she was at our house about 4 hours after we got home from Guatemala!

With your baby, who is a little older, I would wait a few weeks and see how she's adjusting before a bunch of people start coming over. Then have the party, but keep it low-key and quiet. I wouldn't let people hold her or get in her face. If people know this (and know why it's important) ahead of time, it might help avoid hurt feelings.

[GuatMommy2Be]

I'm REALLY curious, how do you word this type of party to friends and family? What wording do you use on invitations?

My MIL let's just say, likes to stick around until you're ready for bed. For instance, we will plan something to begin at 2PM. She won't come until 3PM and then stay until midnight.

I'm also very curious how you all gently kick people out of your house? (Poor wording, trust me, I know!) I want to be prepared incase either the baby or I become overwhelmed with people who can not take the hint.....

[Mindybeth6]

This is becoming a huge source of conflict in my family. First of all....my DH said NO ONE AT THE AIRPORT. OK...there is no way. My mom and dad and his mom and dad are NOT going to let their grandchild fly into America and NOT see her when she steps off that plane. It's just not going to happen. So his idea went out the wondow in minutes and we are planning on quite a few people at the airport. After we get in at the airport we have about an hour drive back to our house. I know for sure that my parents and his parents are following us home and that it fine with me. NOW....as for others that are NOT going to see her at the airport...Kris and I want to have an open house. THere are just so many people that want to meet her and I don't feel like having a huge to do everyday to try to meet everyone's schedules. I will set the date and time and people can home meet her and such. It will be nice and not so crazy. I just think it will be the best option for us. And it will be fun. I can't hide her forever and she has to meet the family sometime. However, we have already made EVERYONE aware that there will be NO passing around of the baby. NONE.
Hugs

[TerriBB]

We did ours 8 days following our arrival...it was her 1st birthday. We held her 24/7 until that day. (slept with her, carried her all over the place...etc.) The day of the party she did great! We made sure that one of the 3 of us were always in her sight - even if a relative or friend was holding her.

It was an open house, we brought in the food and let people help themselves in the kitchen. If they were close enough to visit that soon - they had to be able to serve themselves.

This said - we made a tentative invitation when people would call. Then, they checked in the day before to make sure she was adjusting. About 60 people visited and she did great!

[tooskis]

Just my opinion here - For your own sanity, I think with a baby at that age you should wait and see how she adapts the first week. If she does great, than have something a few weeks after you are home. If she goes through any sort of grieving period, it may be stressful on you to have to then accomodate a pre-planned event.

Our son came home at 13 months and we were concerned with how he would respond to us. We sent an email in advance and told people what we preferred and why. We told them coming to the airport was fine but we'd prefer a couple weeks alone. Everyone understood. We had 14 people waiting for us at the airport and he did fine there. He also adapted very well once home and so we ended up venturing out much more than we had planned.

I hope it turns out great no matter what you decide!

[KellyMigoya]

We had alot of people at our house when we got home and they were so excited to see our Mia and had been so supportive of us, including a huge baby shower but our girl was so young it wasn't a big deal. With an older child I would wait and see.
We had a huge Welcome Home party about three weeks after Mia came home and it was alot of fun and we just called it a Welcome Home party in the invitation.

[kare4you]

My friends and family have been waiting so long that I think people will randomly "drop in" and I would rather have an organized visit. If you have it at your MIL's if things start to go late or she is getting restless you have the option of "bowing out" and the guest of honor making her goodbyes.
Karen

[tinaedmond]

Our DD came home at 15 months of age, and there was a small group who met us at the airport and then came home with us to visit for a short while. All told, two children and 6 adults. Our DD did just fine! I think it's wonderful that your mother in law wants to do this for you!

Tina

[DD Amasa]

I had both a large welcome home party with my family and a baby shower with friends within a week of bringing my son home. Also several large Christmas gatherings within another couple of weeks. He did great. He loves people and is a big flirt and loves being fussed over. I would say go ahead. Let the family fuss over her. She deserves it.

[Mamma]

We brought our son home at 16 months old. Family members were at the house waiting for us, so he was greeted by about half a dozen people. He seemed fine. Cautious, but fine. A week later, my family hosted a "Welcoming Party" where we had 97 people come in and out for a few hours (held at our church). Our son did great. He actually enjoyed seeing all the people. Again, cautious but fine.

We'll probably do the same for our next child. Definitely created a lot of great memories.

[charlenegriffi]

When we arrived at the airport @ 10:30 P.M. we had around 20 family members and friends waiting for us. My family wanted to give me a baby shower ahead of time but I opted for a welcome home party in which everyone could meet Callie. Ten days after we arrived from Guatemala we had our welcome home party in which 80+ were in attendance. The baby went with everyone, but kept looking for me. She sat on her granny and watched as I opened all her welcome home presents. She was very content and would clap when she liked a toy. I was so glad I waited to have a welcome home party in which everyone had the opportunity to meet the baby that they had waited and prayed for.