[TerriBB]

All of DH's family blew off our daughter's 1st birthday. His parents sent a check and went to the gambling boats! I guess the silence from DH made a point...they all showed up at the Baptism this past weekend.

[JillnChris]

Sorry I don't have any advice but it sounds like you got a lot of good suggestions. But I just noticed that you are naming your daughter Evangeline and so are we! I was just excited because I do not hear that name often and I think it is so beautiful.

Good luck with everything and I hope both our Evangeline's come home soon!

[mummi2be]

I too am probably naming my daughter evangeline (evie for short) . I had never really heard the name before, amazing that three of us on this forum adopting from guatemala in 2007 are using it!!

[doghouse]

I am sorry you feel so slighted for your child.

I am not trying to hurt your feelings with what I have to say. But, your baby is very young and doesn't understand Christmas yet. Any present would be wasted on her. You are the one who feels slighted and certainly not the child. It is only practicle to give less $$$ to the youngest child.

Christmas is way to commercialized. My husband and I don't even exchange presents. We only buy for the kids and my parents.

There is a magical time when the children believe in Santa. It is so much fun setting up the presents for them. We go nuts buying the kids presents. Way too nuts.

You MIL won't be around forever. I hope you can find the "higher road" and just let it go. To some it may appear you might be begging for money. You may not want her to get the upper hand by her knowing how it hurt your feelings.

Your husband really needs to step in and take control of his mother. She is his mom and not yours.

My mother always tells me "silence can go a long way". Be a little passive aggressive and just let it go.

Good Luck.

[hesabanana]

Doghouse,
I have to completely disagree with your comments.

Christmas is for children. It is also about celebrating family. By choosing not to acknowledge the new baby, her mother in law is saying a whole lot about the child's value and acceptance in the family, and saying it not only to the poster, but also to the other members of the family, particularly the children. No gift is ever wasted on a child, no matter the child's age or how small or inexpensive the gift. Giving a gift says, "You are loved; I value you enough to take the time to choose a gift for you." To my mind, this has nothing to do with the value of a gift, but the value of the child within the family.

I do not know why you would suggest that the poster could be construed as "begging for money." I did not get that impression at all, and apparently neither do all of the other contributors to this thread. I found the original post to be one of love for a child, not of greed.

If I were the poster, I would want my MIL to know my feelings are hurt because I would desire a genuine and real relationship with her, particularly because "you never know how long she will be around." That in and of itself is a gift. I would also want her to know so that she would have an opportunity to clarify any misunderstanding.

Finally, I think standing up for my child and his/her value in my family IS taking the high road.

Just my humble opinion,
Brenda

[frankiegirl]

Oh Daphne, I am so so sorry that your MIL did that. It breaks my heart. How could she forget. Angie

[MJane]

Stand your ground !! My MIL and FIL don't like our boundaries but it is their problem not ours.... if they can't follow the rules of your "FAMILY" then keep your boundaries. She may change which hope for and she may not -- it is her choice.

At least your daughter doesn't understand this time .

Good luck start now you won't regret it.