[lyssie]

I loved this response I just read on another link. She and her sister were 6 months apart. The poster was adopted and her sister was the bio. When asked if they were sisters they would say "YES" if pressed by people They would respond "One is adopted...but we can't remeber which one".

I love that! It kind of says it doesn't matter to us does it matter to you--in a kind way. I am planning on using this one especially since my bios and my little Guatemalan daughters will look so different.

I think it is a near perfect response.

People are sometimes so ridiculous. I learned this when we had 3 children under 3. There were always comments! (now we have 5 and our oldest is 9, and the youngest is 2) When I was new to it I felt irritated by all of the comments and attention. Lots of times people were not kind in their questions and comments. I felt better when I just realized that they were strangeres who had no impact on our lives. Also, I felt better when I fully accepted that Yes, "I was busy"(and always will be)and Yes, I do "know how this happens", and Yes, they are very close in age. I do know what I am doing, and while it is sometimes hard I am glad to have these children, no mattter when, how or where we may be! It is a great privledge to be a mother and to have a family.

[NeeNee]

I don't post much anymore but I thought I'd share one of the oddest questions yet!

I was talking to my sister on the phone one day and she said, "I just gotta ask you this question. I've watched(she's a daycare provider) a lot of Mexican(yes Mexico again!) children and their diapers really stink. Does Jonathan's poop stink bad??"
I was dumbfounded!!! I mean that one threw me big time. Of course I said, "No, I think it has more to do with their diet than anything else!"

Now when he has a really stinky diaper that conversation does tend to pop into my head!! *L*

[bella2724]

I have enjoyed reading the comments in this thread!

When we adopted my son back in 2001 (from Romania), I would say that I was more defensive about stupid comments made by others. Over time, I have learned that many do not mean any harm but are indeed curious and just do know how to phrase questions properly. Adopted our daughter in April 2006 from Guatemala.

Depending on who is asking the questions>>>>I just go along with it.

Here are a couple of questions/comments made:
1. "Why didn't you adopt a child from the U.S.?"
2. "I don't know how those women from other countries give up their babies like it is nothing, I sure could not do that!" (This comment made by one of my own family members who had a baby at age 18 and got every possible Public Assistance available!) My reply was long, ugly and she has never made a comment about anything in regards to adoption again.
3. "Your daughter's hair is so black!" "Does she get that from her Father?" My reply>>>>"Nope, it's from our Neighbor!"
4. "Our friends adopted from China also!" My reply>>>>>"She was born in Guatemala, I guess the Black hair threw you off huh!"
5. "Will you tell your children they are adopted?"
6. "I bet you could have paid less for a child in Mexico!"

I still continue to encounter idiots with ridiculous comments and/or questions but I have learned to have fun with it and make them feel awkward.

I love my children and I refuse to let other's stupidity make me feel like I owe them an explanation.

[TerriBB]

MIL is in a small town and she "shows off" all 4 of us when we're in town. She points out that Flora was adopted from Guatemala - it's a novelty to their farming community - so I bite my tongue. (This is our son & dil who live in the BIG CITY...he's an accountant...yadda yadda) The folks in town always comment on how beautiful both of our kids are during the conversation...who I am to complain.

The other day our son (bio) proudly announced that he had 3 Mommas??? "You, Mama Ean (grandma) and that syrup lady in the refriderator" ?? (Aunt Jamima)

We often get the comment that "she's so lucky" and the first time I heard that, I was really confused...we were trapped, trying to get DNA Auth. Now my answer is really from our son (a.k.a. the mouth of babes)..."Wow, now our family is perfect 2 grown-ups and 2 kids...2 boys and 2 girls are in our house."

[ohsuzannah]

This isn't necessarily a dumb question, but it's the most common question I get when someone finds out my son was adopted from Guat. "Did you have to go get him?" Seems so odd to me....we were thrilled to go get him, and didn't think of it as an inconvenience.
Suzanne

[TerriBB]

Originally Posted by ohsuzannah

This isn't necessarily a dumb question, but it's the most common question I get when someone finds out my son was adopted from Guat. "Did you have to go get him?" Seems so odd to me....we were thrilled to go get him, and didn't think of it as an inconvenience.
Suzanne

We get that question often - and I'm sure that we have such wonderful smiles on our faces! It was such a special time. We then compare the little that we were able to see with various countries where we had traveled and that we can't wait to return as "a whole family" for vacation, when the kids are a bit older.

[cmfayz]

We were out to eat a few weeks ago and the waiter was talking to us and saying how cute Matthew is. Then the waiter says, in a very heavy Brooklyn accent, "So, what is he?" I was speechless. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. Now, when dh wants to crack me up, he does his best Brooklyn accent imitation and says, "So, what is he?"

Things like that don't bother me and I don't want my boys bothered by it either.

[pjgodwin]

I was asked, "So, is he yours or is he adopted?"

I paused, and then answered "uh...both."

She replied, "Well, you know what I meant."

Me, "Not exactly..."

PJ