[riverview]

We really thought when we began in Feb that our DS would be home for Christmas this year. So sad... what do I keep telling his siblings...they just don't understand why he is not home. Do I put his gifts under the tree? Do I leave the tree up until he comes home? How can we keep saying thank you to people who wish us a Merry Christmas ,when we really want our family together. It just breaks my heart to have him celebrate with his FM in Guatemala and NOT us.

[daynesmom]

I am so sorry. I don't have the words to comfort you, but please know when it is time for him to come home he will. I know the words are easy for me to say, I have not had the journey that you have (knock on wood).

When people wish you a Merry Christmas, just wish them one back and know that your family will be complete soon.

I will pray that you get out quick and have your son home soon.

[CashCrew]

I'm so sorry. I cannot even imagine how difficult it is. {{{HUGS}}}

[dspakowsky]

It's tough, I know. I have presents for my daughter in Guatemala too. And I REALLY thought she'd be home. I have them tucked away in a dresser, and one GLORIOUS day I'll take them out to hand to her.

Hang in there!!!

[dilgra]

I'm sorry riverview. We are right there with you. Our dossier was complete and on it's way to our agency on December 15th last year. We were so certain that we would have a little one to celebrate Christmas with this year. I didn't even want to put up a tree this year but made myself do it and it helped. I have wrapped gifts for our little one and put them under the tree but I don't think the tree will last long, the needles are dropping pretty fast. I am really hoping that she gets home before she grows out of the Christmas dress that her daddy picked out for her. We will celebrate Christmas with her when she gets home, I just hope that it is not Easter by then! I hope that you at least get the "Out" call before Christmas. I will be praying for a Christmas Miracle for you. Our babies will be home for next Christmas! Hang in there

[wvamom]

I'm sorry you are having to wait so long--it's hard, I know. We are missing our son's first birthday, but I just keep telling myself we'll have every other birthday to celebrate with him.

Can you send any of the presents down in a gallon-sized bag? It might make you feel better.
Carolyn

[CurlysGirly]

I don't have any answers but I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you during this really hard time. I can't imagine how sad you must be.

[jennandsteve]

We went through almost the same thing 2 years ago waiting for our daughter. It was terrible. But we did keep the tree up (the needles were almost all gone) and we did have Christmas once she was home in January. Now that is all just a very faint bad memory and we are so excited to be celebrating our second Christmas with her and our first with our son.

I know this prob doesn't help, but it really is true. Once he is home you will forget how bad this is very quickly.

One thing that helped me think about this in a postive way is, I know Sophia's Foster Mom and Foster brother loved her so much. They only had that one time to celebrate Christmas with Sophia and we will, God willing, have years and years of wonderful Christmases so I looked at it as a special gift for them and her. We have some pics of her at her first Christmas with her Foster Family and we look at them and talk about how wonderful they were and how much they love her.

Hang in there. It looks like from your time line maybe you will hear you are out any day and that will make Christmas much better. We heard a 2 years ago tomorrow that we were out and that made Christmas much more fun.

Jenn

[Memo's Dad]

Jenn - If I said "Been there, done that", I know it wouldn't make it any easier. However, having been there and done that (twice), I can tell you that you do whatever feels most comfortable for you. For us, we chose not to leave the tree up - which was a good thing because it would have been up almost two years. We did have Memo's presents under the tree and in fact they sat in the living room for some time even after we took the tree down. We felt it was only right to put them out since we had bought them for him, even though he wasn't home yet. Last year, I believe there were presents under the tree again for him again. Somehow not putting presents there for him was more painful than putting them out. (By the way, he's making out like a bandit this year with two year's worth of presents to open)

What we found through our two year odyssey through Guatemalan Judicial He** was that our lives had to continue if for not other reason than our other two sons. Now that's not to say that we didn't shed a tear (or two or twelve hundred) sitting in church on Christmas Eve, but we felt that to do otherwise was to be living our lives "on hold" and that wasn't fair to our other two sons or to us. Suzanne and I have never been the types to live our lives on hold and while it did at times still seem like that's what we were doing, we kept moving forward.

You do what you are comfortable doing - if that means leaving the tree up, then do it. I would add that the firefighter part of me says if you are using a live tree, please take it down as soon as possible though. You know how far along your case is and the probability of when your child may come home.

Follow your heart on this - you'll make the right decision.

Praying for you every day -

Mark

[akasohappy]

We are right there with you. I NEVER thought we would not have her home by now.
I know how you feel about the other kids. It breaks my heart to keep telling Jay that she isn't going to make it after all. I actually got her Christmas dress and his matching outfit out of the closet yesterday and told myself I need to return them. Their Christmas picture was actually scheduled for noon today. I made appt. back in October hoping she would be here. Jay said he didn't want to get picture without her, and he is waiting for "Sissy" to come home to get a Christmas picture. He will be 7 in Feb., but I didn't even have the mental strength to insist that we get the photo done without her. I will take something in front of the tree. Someone posted a cute photo of 2 little boys holding a 8x10 of their baby sister and I think we might blow up our favorite picture of Emma and have Jay hold it in front of the tree. I can't believe this could actually actually drag out for months. ARGH!
OK, I am done being Debby Downer now.
The above poster had a point about the foster family only getting 1 Chirstmas with their child and us having hopefully many. My foster mom actually told me that Christmas was a hard time for her since her son passed away 2 years ago. She did not give me any other details. Maybe this is God's way of comforting her this Christmas. He knows we have Jay.

[godfrey544]

I feel your pain. We met our child in March and accepted the referral. We were told then, 4-5 months he'd be home. One court battle with bio grandma later, we're barely in PGN. And we've had 3 previos! My 2daughters flew to Guat with us for two weeks in July, so they adore our son and still cry for him when we look at pictures and watch the video. That's hard to see. We have his presents under the tree, and that's where they'll remain until he's here to open them! We're also keeping it up for my husband's return from Afghanistan, so our Christmas will be delayed, but extra special! Hang in there! You're not alone, and we will all get through this. God Speed! Maybe we'll be in Guatemala at the same time!

[monalouise]

I am so sorry. Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. It's really hard when you have other children who are waiting for their new sibling.

We are pretty much in the same boat. Yesterday I was totally depressed! But, I am trying to stay positive (trying is the key word here).

I know it's hard, but you will get through this. At least you can vent to people here who truly understand how difficult this process is.

Take care and hang in there!!!

[josiah1112]

I'm so sorry...thinking of you.

[PRINCESS1976]

This just stinks -- so sorry

[PabloandCarlosMama]

I am sorry that you don't have your child with you. Christmas seems to trigger so much grief when we can't be with all of the people we love.

As for your tree, you should do what feels right for you and your family. I hope that you get out of PGN soon.

I'm getting to spend Christmas in Guatemala with my children, and I'm very grateful for that, but a big piece of my heart is grieving that they aren't here with me and the rest of our family. When I took their referral last January, it never occurred to me that they wouldn't have been here by now. This whole process is unpredictable and often unfair. Please take good care of yourself and your family, and hopefully you will have your child home very soon.