[KKR213]

While I was in process to bring my son home, there was a weekly thread for those of us who are adopting as single parents. It was great to get advice and support from people in similar situations. I hope there is interest in reviving this weekly thread.

I am Kathy - mother to John who is almost 14 months old and he has been home for 7 months. He is doing so well and is such a joy. Currently I am freaking out since day care is starting to transition him to the Toddlers section! John is such an adaptable little guy that I know he will do just fine but I can't believe how fast he is growing up!

Anyone else want to check in??

[luv2teach2]

I brought Gavrielle home in Aug and she is now 14 months old. She is just a joy and she brings a smile to my face 24/7, but I really didn't realize how tough it can be being a single parent, especially when she is sick

[Carrie7310]

I am in need of some advice...I have an 18 month old daughter from Guatemala and am in the midst of adopting an infant from another country. I expect she will be home spring of next year. I just found out my daughter's birth mom had another baby that she has given up for adoption.

I am so conflicted because I am weeks away from a referral and have paid most of the other countries fees. Obviously though having a birth sibling would be great! I am seriously considering going forward with both adoptions. My family will loan me money to help with the costs. I am crazy to have three little ones and do it all single?

I have a good job and mainly work from home. I would have to get a nanny so I wouldn't have to shuffle the kids to and from daycare.

What would you do????????

Thanks,

Carrie

[KKR213]

I can't give you advice on more than one child since I only have John but if a birth sibling became available I think I would seriously consider adopting the sibling. But would need to take into consideration the costs of when the child comes home more than the actual costs of the adoption.

[kmf1524]

Kathy-

Thanks for reviving this thread!

I am Krista and live in PA. I have a 15 month old daughter named Kate who I brought home in January at 5.5 months old. She is the absolute joy of my life. I am in the process of adoption #2- just waiting on a referral of baby girl #2- should hear something by Christmas!

There are days (like today) when Kate has been sick and then I got sick and I wonder how in the world I will handle 2 young children by myself- but my desire for Kate to have a sibling that share her heritage is very strong so I know I'm making the right decision- it's just VERY scary!! Also- I wonder how the bonding process with baby girl #2 will go. Hopefully well, but that is another thing that scares me.

Carrie-

That's a tough one. I have a friend who is a single mommy to 3 and she tells me all the time to make sure I stop at 2 kids! 3 kids has been too much for her as a single. With that said, you need to follow your heart. Only you know your financial situation and what you think you can handle. If it were me- I would probably move forward with adopting the sibling and just take a loss on the other money that you paid. But that is just me and as I stated above- having a sibling for my daughter that shares her heritage was very important to me. You may/may not feel that same way. Keep us posted!

Krista

[LisaDR]

Kathy,
I am so glad you restarted the thread.... even if I just pop in to catch up with the singles....

As the name implies, I am Lisa and I brought Chase home in August. He is 10 months old and can't imagine my life without him. It has been a rough November since I finally went back to work and the adjustment has been difficult for both of us, for different reasons. My work schedule really plays havoc with Chase's schedule.... he was kind of adjusting to the babysitter and now he won't really be there too much before the holidays because of my schedule.
I am very lucky that I have a very supportive family, especially my mother. She has come down every weekend since we have come home and is allowing us to stay there the days I work so it cuts off 2 hours of commuting making the days somewhat bearable at 10.5 hours.. instead of 12-13....

I unfortunatley am finding out just how difficult it is with a sick little one, being by myslef. He is just miserable and is not sleeping at all. now I am trying to figuire out what I can give hiim that won't keep him up.......and he hates the nasal aspirator

I look forward to hearing more about us singles even if it's a group of new ones.... maybe some of the old singles will come out of the woodwork...

[Slatond10]

Glad you revived this thread as well. I brought DD home in Feb of 05 and she just turned 2. She just went through potty training. So here is a mommy tip :
Have lots of books in the bathroom to read to them and she loves the Elmo Potty DVD.

As for deciding on 3 children as a Single Mom??? WOW! More power to you girl. I know I do not have what it takes. If the birthmother of DD had another child I would consider adoption of #2 but I am hoping that is farfetched. Since the birthmother was older as well... ( she would be 40 now).

Could not love my DD more, but when others visit with their children I realize how blessed I am with my precious child and don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth twice Lord knows I deserve someone like myself instead of the angel I got. Tee hee!

[djchris]

Hi...Thanks for starting thsi up again. I'm still waiting to bring my daughter home. I'm Donna, and Isabella will be my first child (and at this rate, probably my only child!) She is 13 months old, and I've finally gotten dna results. I've been in and out of PGN since May, most recently kicked out yesterday, waiting on preapproval and the dna results, as well as a few minor things on the Guatemala side....I'm hoping for a quick PA so I get get resubmitted to PGN for what I hope is the final review! I've visited three times so far, so that I wouldnt miss all of her 'babyhood'. Having her home for Christmas is unlikely at this point, but I'd love to be out by then... that's all I want for Christmas..a protocolo!!!!

[maurahunter]

brought my daughter home in August. She is now 13 months. Like Lisa, I have gone back to work and that has not been easy...she is at the height of seperation anxiety so my heart is broken every AM...BUT she is the love of my life and everything is better with her.

[KKR213]

Glad to see there is an interest in the thread!

Krista - I hope you get your referral soon.

Lisa - I hope Chase is feeling better. It is so hard when they are sick. Try to get some rest yourself.

Donna - sorry about the kick out and I hope you get PA very soon since you had such a long wait for DNA.

Maura - The drop off at day care is so hard. John goes 2 days a week and is with my mother 2 days. It took him about 3 months before he wouldn't cry when I left him at day care. But they say he was fine as soon as I left and now when I say I am leaving and kiss him good bye he waves bye bye to me. It does get better!!

[carrie2adopt]

I'm single too, not how I had planned it but that's the way life goes sometimes! I'm waiting on PA and to enter PGN for my Gracie. I'm just itching to bring her home. She will be my first child...I hope the Hague issues will one day be resolved so I can return for a sibling. I would love to have Grace's bio sib if it were possible, but three to me seems overwhelming unless one of them was considerably older.

[Julaine]

I am a single mom of two teen age daughters ! I was a single mom until they were about 6 and 9 and then married their dad and then we seperated about three years ago and he passed away in September 2005 and so I am single mom again and I am paperchasing to bring home a little boy from Guatemala !
Being a single parent is tough ! Especially if you do not have a support system ! I basically have no life of my own ! The girls come first and even though they are teens they take up most of my time.
I hate when they are sick or hurt and I have to deal with it alone ! It is very lonely in the hospital holding your sick or injured child when you are a single parent !
BUT I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD ! I LOVE MY GIRLS AND THEY ARE MY WORLD AND LITTLE GUY WILL BE THE SAME !
For the one thinking about adopting three if I had the money I would go for it ! I want to adopt two now but money is an issue ! You have to know yourself and what you can handle ! Are you organized ? Do you stress out easy ? Are you flexible ? I think it would be wonderful to adopt a sibling ! if you have the resources, the support and the heart for it I would go for it !

[Ms.Judi]

Hi my name is Judi and I am in the final stages of bringing my 10 1/2 month old daughter Elaina home. I should hear about my Mixco BC tomorrow and be submitted to the embassy this week. I share a home with my Mother and she will stay home with Elaina when I go back to work. It is very nice to meet all of you and I hope we all stay in touch. By the way, I live in Kansasy City-anyone else???

[imateach]

Great thread............

I am Melissa and I have 2 precious daughters that are my life. Molly is now 2 (home since 3 months old) and Mattie will be 6 months old tomorrow (home for 2 1/2 weeks).

YES, two is a lot more work but so far so good. I really wanted a sister for Molly and I wanted them close in age (they are 21 months a part).

Would I adopt 3.............WOW, I would have to say "YES" if I could manage the money issue. I am a teacher so money is tight but I think I would try to make it happen. I think you just have to go with your heart.

Ms. Judi, I have wondered about you and your Mixco BC. I don't understand why it is taking people so long to get theirs from Mixco. Mine was right at 7 days which included a weekend. I am saying a prayer that you hear good news tomorrow.

Glad to meet everyone.

[2bASingleMom]

My name is Lynn and my son Patrick came home in July 2005. I'm just waiting for my 171h for #2. Hopefully this Hague mess won't rear its ugly head again.

Carrie - three is my ideal, but I haven't seen how two will work. My concern is the costs too - so I'm looking at an au pair to reduce costs for daycare. I am lucky in that I have a lot of family nearby with kids close in age, so social situations are family friendly. Obviously you're the one that has to make the decision. Can you walk away? Can you handle the stress (financially and emotionally) of 3 so young? It is a specially situation - good luck to you. I can't say that I know what I'd do, but I'd seriously consider it. Again - good luck!