[ManyTimesBlessed]

I have seen so many threads lately with people who have been in process for a very long time and who are struggling. I know I'm one of them too and so I thought it would be good to start a thread where we can get to know each other and support each other through this long wait.

I was going to say PGN long-timers (100+ days) but then I remembered that there are some who have been stuck a long time in another part of the process - such as my friend Arvella who has been waiting since January for DNA authorization. So, this group will mostly be PGN long-timers, but if you have been in process long enough that your kid should have been home by now then you can join us too!

So, introduce yourself, gripe, share pictures, whatever makes you feel better and we'll get through this together.

[ManyTimesBlessed]

I guess I'll start off my own thread.

My name is Rachel. We received our first referral in October 2005. His name was Erick and he was such a sweetie. God decided to take him to his eternal home in February 2006. Our hearts were broken, but we knew that God had more adopted children planned for us. We accepted the referral of Jayden (b. 11/2/05) and we've been waiting for him ever since. We entered PGN on 6/28, were kicked out 7/21 and re-entered 8/10. No word yet. My baby turned one a week ago and I missed it!!!! In April 2006 we saw Lillian (b. 5/2/99) in a waiting child email and knew she was our daughter so we began pursuing her adoption as well. Hers has been a little slow too, but we hope to bring her home near the beginning of 2007.

So, that's us. I am tired of waiting, tired of seeing toys and books and clothes and a bedroom that are not being used because my children are not here. Some days I think I'm going to loose it, others I am just kind of numb and resolved. My kids need me and I am determined to wait years if necessary to bring them home.

[kerrib]

I have been in PGN since July. I have had one previo but do not know when I was resubmitted. I know there many who have been waiting longer so I know how hard it is!

I just can't believe that "baby's first Christmas" will take place without me. supposedly I will be out of PGN by Thanksgiving and I am of course full of more hope than is justified at this point.

I sincerely hope all of the long-timers get good news for the holidays!

[Larue]

Hello fellow long-timers. I'm Laura. My husband Stefan and I started the adoption process back in January. We're in our 40s, and this is our first child. We received our referral of our sweet little Sabrina in April, when she was one-month old. She was 8 months old on Tuesday.

After flying through the first part of the adoption, we got stuck in minor's court in August. At one point our case almost went into abandonment. Those were some very dark days. But the love and support of our family, friends and this wonderful Forum helped us get through them. We're so thankful to Sabrina's bio grandparents, who are now working with our attorney to complete her adoption. We found out recently that we're back in regular PGN.

And although we're going on day 133, we're just thankful to be here. Though I heard we were suppose to get a t-shirt or something when we passed day 100! I'm still waiting for mine

Hang in there Rachel, and all my fellow long-timers. Our OUT day will come. Praying we all receive some good news very soon

[Natalie1125]

Well, I probably don't need an introduction b/c I have been venting/complaining/whining a lot lately. But I will one more time...we went in on 6/28 resubmit for a spelling error made by our attorney on our POA on 8/25 and absolutely no word since. I am completely frustrated, beyond sad and just starting the completely numb phase! I really hope that all of us long timers get to post our OUTS very, very soon!

Rachel - I am sorry to hear about the pain that you have endured during your adoption journey.

[stephjoel99]

I *think* I'm actually a part of this group now - we have had our referral since our baby was 4 days old. She is almost 7 months old and we just had our SWI not quite 2 weeks ago FINALLY. So I guess you could say we're long timers. Well if not right now, we definitely will be by the time this kid gets home.

I'd like for those of us with ugly timelines to get our precious babies home so we can start doing this!! (I love these new little dancing thingies!!)

[chriscinger]

We adopted our son in June 2002, and he will turn 5 in a couple weeks. His adoption was so smooth and easy, we weren't prepared for what we've gone through with our current adoption. We are now adopting a 7 year old girl whose picture we saw on a photolisting. Started the process in Dec. 2005, and have been in PGN since July 7. Went into minor investigation around Sept. 1, though birth mom is not a minor, out of investigation around Sept. 27. I don't know where our case is now, I guess back to the PGN reviewer. Waiting for a KO for POA because the girl's birth date was wrong (an error I found on DNA report). We are no longer holding out hope that she will be home for Christmas, or her 8th birthday.

[Waiting4Alexa]

Hello, my husband and I are in our 30s and have waited 12 years for a baby. We accepted Alexa's referral in Feb but our process has been snaillike before and after the referral. We went into PGN July 28 and received a KO at the end of Sept and were supposedly resubmitted within a couple of days but I have heard nothing since. It's so hard to hear that your case remains in PGN because I am so tired of waiting....

[jose'smom]

So here's my story. Accepted referal Nov. 1, 2005 paper ready (translated) and INS approval. Expected to be able to fly through this time around (went through Hague shutdown of 2003). Submitted to PGN last week of May 2006. KO for new docs on birthmom. Took 12 weeks to get them. Finally back in PGN on Nov. 1, 2006 (one year from date of referal). My baby turned 1 on Oct. 15th and it was hard to not have him home. Now we are accepting he won't be with us for Christmas. We are praying we will at least get approval by Christmas. Some days are so long and saddening. Most times I just feel numb. Getting back into PGN has given me a glimmer of hope though. Please pray we are out soon! Thanks, Amy

[ManyTimesBlessed]

[quote=stephjoel99]I *think* I'm actually a part of this group now - we have had our referral since our baby was 4 days old. She is almost 7 months old and we just had our SWI not quite 2 weeks ago FINALLY. So I guess you could say we're long timers. Well if not right now, we definitely will be by the time this kid gets home. [quote]


I definitely think you're part of our group. Sorry you have to be, though! Maybe the SWI/DNA stuff will be your long-time part and then you'll fly through PGN. I sure hope so! (not sure why my quote didn't work!).

[Bianca_BiBi]

We started our case in January 2006, We were happy when things went quickly at first. But now we have been in PGN for more than 150 days. This should have been a straight forward case, no abandonment, no minor birthmother. My agency tells me that our case is "not that old" but then tells me we are the "second to the oldest case" at the agency. The attorney says that when he asks, PGN tells him there is no update. I am crying at work, at stores and when I am driving. So much pain! I never thought we would be in this situation, I thought my baby would be home by now. It is hard for me to believe that there is nothing my lawyer can do. I feel that there might be a stack of old cases that mine is in that has been forgotten and noone is checking to see if that is the case. SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!! Thanks for listening and caring. Bianca's mom

[brink]

Hang in there everyone. They do come home. Our cases took 14mo, 18mo, and well over two years, because we asked for a particular child before she had abandonment. We are waiting now for another ten year old girl. Dossier was in Guatemala early 2005. Didn't know it would have to turn into a relinquishment, as birth mother located. She is committed to doing this for her daughter, so no fears there...just more waiting. DNA billed, so hopefully done and into PGN soon. Then what? Hard to know, isn't it. Praying she is home in time to have a few months with a wonderful third grade teacher who also had our other new ten year old in 2005. It will happen. Just hang on for the joy these children will add to your lives!

[P.E.Z.]

No doubt we are part of this group , my timeline tells our story .

[paramom]

We accepted our referral on February 3, 2006 on both of our babies. We entered into PGN on June 1, 2006. We had a minor's interview for our ds on August 18 and went back into regular PGN about two weeks later. We had a kickout, and went back in, then had another kickout about four weeks ago and went back into PGN on October 23. We have had a really long process. We have been in for 23 weeks or over 150 days. We are fostering in Antigua and have been here for almost a month. We have no idea if we will be home for Christmas or not which is absolutely heartbreaking for us and our two older children. So yes, we know how hard it is when you are waiting.

[Jaycee12]

Unfortunately, I felt the need to reply to this post too...as today is especially depressing because we've now joined the 100 day club

My husband and I have been trying to start a family for over 7 years... we are both in our mid-30's and can't wait to bring our beautiful daughter home!!! When we started this process in January, we were assured that we would have our baby home this summer, now we're worried about Christmas, with a little less hope every day...

We rec'd referral at 10 days old and had PA 6/12...we were first told we were in PGN mid-June, but really hadn't had the SWI completed, so we were dismayed to learn that we had to wait another 1.5 months after PA to even enter PGN....after we were told repeatedly we didn't have any KO's (attorney's office was mistaken or didn't really check), we learned just last week we were KO'd 10/9 and back in on 10/10....not sure really what to think anymore.

These days I'm so bummed out, I find it difficult to get out of bed and face another day of not knowing when we will hear something....that little bit of hope, of "this could be the day" is what is keeping us going, but it's getting really difficult. Unfortunately, we're compensating by working a lot and staying away from gatherings that require the strength to answer all the questions/comments about when, why, and how much we're missing from our daughter's life...

I truly admire the strength of those that have been here much longer than us, and I sometimes wonder how you do it, but I know that's it's just by taking one day at a time and not losing hope...which, as others have pointed out, is easier said than done....

It WILL happen for all of us....hopefully SOON!!!!