[maham0]

My baby will be home next week and he is 5 months old. I have a 5 year old that I have the option to keep home with the baby and I or I could send her to Kindergarten (which she could miss for a few weeks since this is her second year of Kindergarten..she has a late birthday). Anyway, I worry about attachment/bonding with the baby, but also helping my 5 year old feel good, secure, and not "replaced" by the baby. Any suggestions...send her to school or keep her home?

[catsnkids]

First, congratulations on getting to bring your baby home.

Is it half day or full day kindergarten?

If it is half day, I would send her. Then when she gets home spend time with her and baby doing something special. When baby naps do something special with just her to make sure she still feels special. Also, if you're married or have someone that can watch the baby for maybe an hour or two once a week you can do something real special with the older child.

Just some thoughts.

Tracy

[riaanne]

I brought home my 9 mo to a 4 yo sister. I sent her to 1/2 day pre-school for a couple reasons. One, during the attachment phase the baby demands so much attention, I felt like i was depriving my dd while answering my ds's needs, two, she was used to going to school it was part of her routine and she loves school I did not think I should disrupt a good routine because of the new baby.

Maybe this is wrong, but i always think, what would i have done if I brought the baby home as a newborn. I would not have kept my daughter out of school - and an adopted older child needs even more atteniotn, which means less for child used to be the center of attention

I do not think I expressed it well but hopefully you got the gist

[DPline]

How does your daughter feel about it? Does she want to go to school or stay home. Not that her opinion should be your deciding factor, but it might sway you in one direction or another.

Just to give you a positive story, my bio son was 6 and in kindergarten (he had gone to Young 5's) when my daughter came home at 11 months old, and my younger son came home three months later at 20 months old. All three of them have done great! I was very concerned that after being an only child for so long and then having two walking, talking siblings in 3 months it might be bad, but he was fabulous with them and I think actually helped with their adjustment.

[maham0]

Good advice, thanks! My DD would love to stay home with me as she is definitely a "Mama's girl", and her Kindergarten is all day. I just want to do what's right for both of them. She is excited about the baby, but I'm sure there will be some natural jealousy issues as well. It's a tough decision.