[amcb]

A question for those of you who have sent down recordings in your care packages:

Did you call your baby by his/her birth name or by the name you are going to give them?

If you want to request that the FM use the name you're going to give them, did you wait to do that in person during your visit or did you ask them in your first note to them?

We are preparing our first care package for our baby and wanted to send down a recording. We're unsure if we should address our baby by his new name or his birth name in the recording, or maybe even no name at all. We most certainly don't want to offend the FM by using a different name than what she is calling him.

Anyone have any thoughts on these issues?

amcb

[Chinook]

I'd be interested in this info as well. Bumping

[amcb]

bumping - anyone?

[Guatemomtobe]

In my first package to my foster family, I wrote a nice letter that included the name that I had chosen for my daughter. I included the significance of the name (after my grandmother & mom). I have been very lucky to establish email contact with the family also and I know that they are using my chosen name.

I would enclose a letter telling them your name choice and asking if they wouldn't mind using that name. I also included some nicknames for them to use which are somewhat hispanic (Evvy and Evita).

I would use the name you have chosen in the sound recording. If nothing else, it might encourage the family to use it. It might also help them with pronunciation if it is not an easy to pronounce (in hispanic terms) name.

Good luck!
Susan

[CashCrew]

I sent down a baby book (that we made and printed on pretty paper) so she could record milestones and on that I used her birth name. In our letter, I used her birth name but told her what name we will be using when she comes home. I know from another Spanish friend of mine that Kemry is very hard for spanish speaking people to say, so I didn't push that she use it because I knew she probably couldn't say it the way it will sound coming from us anyway. On our voice recording we used Kemry but didn't say her name very much as we mostly just read stories to her. It's all in English anyway so most likely the foster mother won't even know what we're saying!

[tommygirl61801]

Hey!

We address the first letter using Kirsten's birth name but in the letter informed the foster mom that we will be calling her Kirsten (I dont expect her to be able to pronounce it because my family can't even pronounce it right LOL!) But if they do call her by Kirsten then thats just a plus to us!

[Wait4Spencer]

Spencer's foster mom never called him by his given birthname. She always called him "Baby." Once she learned his new name, she used that. However, with the accent, I don't know if he really learned his name.

[amcb]

Thanks for the input!!

We have chosen a name our son a name that works both in English and Spanish. So he will need to get used to both pronunciations at some point. Since I am a native Spanish speaker and we will be raising our son to be bilingual, we are planning to record us reading books and stories in both English and Spanish. My husband will handle the bulk of the English, and I'll take the Spanish.

We will include in our note to the FM an explanation behind his the name we've chosen and since it works in Spanish, I'll hope that she decides to use it. Since she'll be able to understand at least part of what we're saying, I just wanted to make sure that the FM wouldn't be somehow insulted by us calling him a name other than his birthname.

I appreciate everyone's input and hope that others will share their experiences with respect to the naming issue and how to communicate it to the FM.

amcb

[dac_cincy]

I aminthe minority here, but I choose not to tell my foster mother what name I will call my son by whenhe comes home.
The first reason is that, he was placed with them 4 months before I received his referral and I did not think that is was fair to them to suddenly have to call him by another name.
The second reason is that even if I told them the name I will use, my friends from Cuba and Peru told me that they would not say it the american way.

So right now, when I write, email or call, I refer to my son by his birth name. I did this on my visit trip in May and I will do it again in December. When he comes home, I will call him Josue Aidan for the first week and then switch to Aidan Josue in the second week. This is the process that my friends who adopted from China used and it worked just fine.

I will say though, if I had gotten his referral when he was younger, I might have done this differently, but it will all work out.

[nykrissy]

Well...interesting enough...when we got to Guat on our visit trip...they were already calling our baby by the name WE were going to use "BIANCA"...I think that my agency might have told them and they started using it before we even got there
AS far as a recording...we opted to bring books down on our visit trip....and DH, my 2 sons and myself read these books to her while we were there and recorded us doing so...so we left there for her. I talked to her FM and Bianca as well( here part was mainly laughing but that was all I needed anyway), this past Sunday via the phone and the FM told me she LOVED the tape but it had broke. SO, we just made another of the same books and we are sending it down with another care package this week! Just my 2 cents!