[4onmybench]

Just thought I'd post so anyone interested could see what she has to say.

Elisabeth

[ncurry3]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I had a dream last night that I was in the audience and I lit into her and after I yelled at her it turns out the entire audience was filled with adoptive parents with kids from Guatemala. Hmmmm........ I think somehow the forum got into my dream! haha..... I had my fingerprints taken last week and the guy asked me what I thought of the whole Madonna thing. I told him the truth and he felt the same way.

[hpmom]

first off Oprah NEVER asked her if she followed the law???
Second she asked what madonna wanted to say as a message about the whole story..Modanna's response was that she felt her media frenzy hurt others who may have the dream to one day adopt, she also hinted that not many have gone to third world countries, and do not know how many children need homes.HELLO? I wish she knew about all the folks who have indeed spent many a nights waiting for their kids from Guatemala China Russia..Oprah did nothing but praise madonna... Eberyone here on this site did just as modonna except we all waited a long wait followed country laws and never bragged about adopting...I guess my sense was that it apeared Madonna and Oprah acted as if she was a hero and the only one in the world to do an International Adoption..Sad-

[afl]

Actually, Oprah did ask about the 18-month law thing. Madonna side-stepped around it and said something about they knew it would be too much of a hardship for her to live there for that long since she has 2 kids in the UK. She said they allowed her to take him to the UK and have frequent social worker visits to make sure everything is ok.

So, essentially, she is saying she was able to get around things.

[aniles]

I thought it was a great show. I am glad Madonna cleared the air and told people the truth. She didn't go into every last detail, but I don't think that is necessary. She doesn't (nor does anyone else) have to justify to everyone the whole thing.

I really feel that people are laying into her because she is famous. She shouldn't have to defend herself because she is famous, and she didn't need to say every last detail on the show. If I told every person who asked me about our adoption every last detail I wouldn't even be finished talking to the first person. She said what was necessary. She has the right to a private life and it sounded to me like everything was done properly. We, as adoptive families, should understand this need for privacy regarding our processes should understand this better than anyone else.

Wouldn't we all change the laws in Guatemala to make things faster and smoother if we could? Let's try not to bash anyone because we don't like their celebrity persona. I admire Madonna for speaking up (she should NOT have to justify herself to the CRAPPY media) and for what she is doing for people in Africa. I"m glad Oprah invited her on the show, and it just proves once again how ridiculously skewed and negative the media is. They will do anything they can to get a 'good' story even if it means harrassing people and making stuff up.

I do not mean to offend anyone by this post. I just get really tired of seeing people bash the famous people just because they don't like them. We may not like their work, but NONE of us know them and have no right to be judgemental.

[Drazil]

I agree with you aniles that the media played a huge part in this whole thing. We have no clue how long they have been in the process and what the details are. On a smaller scale (being that we are not famous) our adoption only took 6 months and 2 days from sign on to coming home (and this included 2 trips to Russia) and our 10 days were waived (a Russian government procedure/law that states that in St. Petersburg we would have to wait out a 10 day appeal process and this applies to everyone) and we came home. We heard so much stuff from so many people about our agency being in "good" and getting favors because our adoption was so quick and our 10 days were waived or that we somehow spent a little "extra" so that things would work out in our favor. Also, if you think about it do you know for sure exactly where and who your money went to during your process??? Also, for all those that have whined about how long things take in your country of choice if given the chance to speed things up I'll bet most would jump at the chance. Being that she is in the spotlight and many don't agree with lifestyle or choices they will just jump all over her about everything. Also, just a question but how many out there when you (if you) met with the birthmothers in country offered to give them the money you were spending on adoption so they could stay together as a family because money/poverty was probably the issue as well?

[LibbyHawkins]

One of the previous posts said Madonna was bragging???? I think it is more like she is being exploited, do you really think she wanted the Media to get involved here, I would bet she didn't invite them or inform them of her plans. Imagine having something so personal splayed for all to see.

Would any of us turn down the opportunity to speed up the process?

Here is a child getting a good, loving home, a child who may very well have perished before his 18th birthday, alone in an orphanage.

Come on, Big Picture.

(I'm thinking they won't start charging 3 million dollars for each adoption, now that Madonna has "donated that money"

[Summer95]

I have never been a fan of Madonna...however, I find this media smear campaign appalling. I have only one question...Where were the Human Rights Activist Groups and media when this little boy was suffering with severe pneumonia?
If not for Madonna and her husband seeking medical attention and transferring this little boy to a clinic, he may have died.

[Tammy2005]

I thought it looked like she had a paper she was reading from which I thought was odd. And the way she was saying home study, just didnt sound like it was coming form the heart, more like it was from a scrip she was reading from and that maybe she really didnt have a home study. I thought the whole thing sounded like it was fake. I didnt like it at all. But just my thought. Everyone has their own thoughts about it all. I think its great the little boy is getting the love he deserves. As any child does. Tammy

[tybeemuffin]

I am just sick that people are still bashing Madonna. Apparently she did a homestudy. Do we really need to know every single detail of her process up to this point? What would we do if someone asked this of us? To me she looked upset and nervous, which I would be too. Madonna usually always seems so sure of herself and today she almost looked broken, like many of us would if someone was trying to screwup our adoption. Put yourself in her shoes.

[aniles]

Yes, Tybee! Not to mention that she was on a video conference/satellite and was probably looking at a screen that showed oprah which was probably below the camera that was taping her - I doubt she was looking at a paper. Come on you guys. Give her a little credit.

[dsjjwilson]

I don't think she was reading from a script. If you have seen her interviewed before she just talks that way. And why in the world would you think she would lie about a homestudy. I think it's sad that we as adoptive parents find the need to bash other adoptive parents no matter who they are. I am definately not a Madonna fan but like her I think the sad part of this media craziness is it is putting foreign adoption in a bad light. It is discouraging others from adopting from Africa where unlike Guatemala there are not families who are waiting to adopt these orphans. There are so many children dying in orphanages in Africa whose family is dead or dying of AIDS. That is what we should focus our attention on. I thought the interview was great and like she said.... the laws need to be changed in Africa to help these children. Would I try and waive an 18 month stay in a country if I had children and a husband..... of course. If I had money, clout, and 3 million invested in a country for kids who have nothing, I would definately use it to my advantage! Do I feel a little jealous that she was able to bring her child home before me? OF COURSE! But I'm also glad it's not going to take 18 months to finalize my adoption after my baby comes home like in her case. The reality is she is an adoptive parent like me and her adoption deserves my respect. It's pretty clear to me that she was not bragging but disgusted with the negative attention. All this negative attention is soooo sad. I'm again reminded how glad I am that I am not famous and I can celebrate my adoption with those close to me.

We like to post people's silly comments to us and talk about how these people don't know the whole story and are not educated on our process...... now imagine if the whole world was making dumb comments about our adoption even those who should be rallied around us with the common goal of finding loving homes for children who need them.

Sorry if I sound preachy. I was not going to comment or even read the thread but once I read it I felt I should comment so my DH didnt have to hear me preach (he gets that enough)

[mcburg]

I think maybe people just get the shock of it. If a few months ago it had been reported that she was starting an adoption process and a little info came out then, some would not have thought about it so much. I think just that fact that it was like 1 day notice, she was there, she gave money, she comes home with a baby that is what frustrates some so much, because we know what it takes to adopt and how long the wait is. I also agree that she does not have to put every detail out for us to read. I think it was just reported badly. It is a good thing adoption, the child needed help and she helped, isn't that what we are all doing? Helping a child in need, in need of a loving home where they can grow up safe, happy and healthy.
Christina

[kari&jose]

Originally Posted by tybeemuffin

I am just sick that people are still bashing Madonna. Apparently she did a homestudy. Do we really need to know every single detail of her process up to this point? What would we do if someone asked this of us? To me she looked upset and nervous, which I would be too. Madonna usually always seems so sure of herself and today she almost looked broken, like many of us would if someone was trying to screwup our adoption. Put yourself in her shoes.

Here's the major problem with what you say - BECAUSE of the fact that she is a major celebrity it is in the best interest of the adoption community to discuss the process by which she is allowed to adopt. The reason being that IF she did indeed follow the law and did not use her power and money it will only go to support the efforts of ALL OF US and hopefully reduce questions about illegalities in the system.

[aniles]

But she did say she followed the law. She also said Malawi does not really have any set in stone adoption laws and that they had to kind of make it up as they went through the process. She also said that she started this quite a long time ago.

So, do people just simply not believe what she said? I just don't understand why people are so convinced that she just went there one day, picked up a kid and took him home. That is just ridiculous. She specifically said she went through the same process that anyone else has to go through.

If she is helping in saving lives, building orphanges and helping to change laws for the better, then what is the problem? It seems like people's jealousy of a quick process, dislike of Madonna's artistic work and belief in the media is clouding their perception of what the real story is.

Don't we all want a smoother, quicker, more standardized process in Guatemala? My son is 9 months old today and some parents have gottent their children home at 4 or 5 months recently, and it breaks my heart that my son hasn't already been home for 4 or 5 months. I would change this process in a heartbeat if I could. Wouldn't you?