[tybeemuffin]

There are now news reports that the father is saying he didn't know that Madonna was going to adopt his son. He thought she was just going to raise him, educate him and then send him back to his family. Hello, if this is true what was he thinking? why would someone do that. This really angers me. I am wondering if he was paid off by one of these so called human rights organizations.

He had been on TV quoted as saying he agreed to all of this. Now Madonna will probablly have to send him back and be heart broken as many prospective adopted parents are when their adoptions fall through.

I hope that this doesn't sour her on adoptions and that she tries again. It is sad that this child will probablly end up back in an orphanage when he could have had a better life. (Even though the article doesn't say this, if the father backs out, that's probably what will happen).

It just all makes me sick to my stomach. This is giving adoptions a bad name.

This is the lastest CNN article:

Father: I didn't want Madonna adoption - CNN.com

[wvamom]

Well, once he finishes school, he will be an adult, and free to choose where he wants to live. He can choose to live with his father if he so desires. I just wonder if there is a language issue--maybe the word "adopt" doesn't translate well into the father's native language?

Carolyn

[riverview]

The father obviously is illiterate and did not understand the whole translation part. Or someone neglected that line of sign off your rights...sad, very sad... Although.. someone could be paying the father some $ to say these things and stir up trouble for her, who really knows if the process was the same for her as for all of us. I personally do not believe she followed the same identical rules and regulations as us. If I followed her footsteps, my son would be home in the US waiting on the Guatemalan Court system to ok our adoption.

[Birth4Mom3]

The whole thing is a giant ugly mess. I too wondered if someone hadn't paid off the father. The early interviews with him, he seemed to really understand the concept. On the growing up and then going back to Malawi thing - truly, what are the odds? Growing up in the Madonna lifestyle and then choosing to go back to the Malawi lifestyle - which really at 13 months, he's never known?? Unless he grows to be the type of person with a Peace Corps frame of mind, I don't see him EVER choosing to go back and live there on a permanent basis as part of the village. That is, if this adoption becomes permanent. If father Banda really was lied to and misled deliberately - which we all know is entirely possible - then I am even more sickened than I was before about this whole thing.

And just last night I was trying to find the silver lining and thinking to myself, "Well at least they are all trying to have a positive open adoption..."

[CashCrew]

Ive read so many different things now I don't know what to believe. I've heard that the orphanage director basically told the dad what he needed to hear to agree with it. I heard that the dad took a bribe. I heard that the dad didn't agree at all. I've heard it all. I don't know what to believe. It's obvious that things were bent a little bit since the Malawi law says no one other than Malawi citizens can adopt a Malawi orphan. I don't blame them for bending the rules though. She is big...has lots of money and publicity. She can get the hurting country the attention and aid that it needs. It's all part of life and politics and nothing can be done about it whether it's right or wrong. I have no idea who is in the right and who is in the wrong. I'm not sure I trust the dad or that he is telling the truth, but it could be that he just wasn't told the truth. He did take the baby to an orphanage though and knew the risk, HOWEVER, how many people are flocking to this Malawi orphanage to adopt especially since only natives can adopt? I'm sure the risk he felt was low that his son would be adopted before he could come back to get him. I donno...I just wish celebs like this could help us out and paint a legal happy picture for adoption for the press to report on! Or would the press report on that anyway? They would probably still seek out the bad to report on.

[Mariais5]

I haven't been following this story closely, but one thing I read stuck in my mind.. The father, in an earlier interview, was very happy that 'this wonderful Christian woman and her husband wanted to raise his son.' Is it possible that someone showed this man Madonna's lifestyle and beliefs, and he decided he did not want this for his son?

[LISAKAYE]

The People magazine article sounded as though he kind of thinks Madonna is going to send for him sometme down the road so he can live in the United States too? Who knows?!!!

Lisa

[CashCrew]

Marcy I thought about this too. Maybe someone told him that she wasn't a Christian at all! She doesn't even claim to be Christian does she? Isn't she really into Scientology? (sp?) That just again leads me to believe that the orphanage director, attorney, or whomever spoke with the dad has told him just what he wants to hear to make him say he will sign the papers.

[jules17]

Kelly, Madonna is into Kabbalah...I don't know too much about it, except that its teachings come from/focus on (??) Jewish mysticism. It (in its origin) was only taught to a select few and in that way is regarded as an offshoot of Judaism. When I have more time, I will research it as I am always interested in learning more...I do know that it is somewhat controversial within Judaism, but don't know if that is because of the teachings or the misunderstandings?? Or the new celebrity fever with it? I'm sure others will have more correct information than I...

[CashCrew]

THAT"S IT! I couldn't remember the name of it. I feel really dumb when it comes to other faiths. I do well just to keep up with the teachings of my own. So it's Tom Cruise and John Travolta that's into Scientology?

[jules17]

Kelly, that is one of my favorite subjects - learning about other faiths...it is fascinating to me!

And, yes, Scientology - while I try extremely hard to be non-judgmental, its teachings are well, very different. Very different.

Hope I didn't offend any possible forum Scientologists - if so, educate me!

[ManyTimesBlessed]

Originally Posted by tybeemuffin

There are now news reports that the father is saying he didn't know that Madonna was going to adopt his son. He thought she was just going to raise him, educate him and then send him back to his family.

This actually has been an issue in Africa. I know of several people who adopted older children from Liberia and after they got their children home the story came out that the kids (as well as the birth parents who voluntarily relinquished them) thought they were just there to get an education and then they would return to Liberia. One lady told me that her daughter will often ask her "Am I old enough to go home now?". This did seem to be an issue with one specific agency that appears to be less than ethical rather than a wide-spread problem in Liberia. However, I wonder if there may be some kind of misunderstanding in that part of the world about what adoption really means?


BTW: We don't have any worries about this with Lillian. She was abandoned at age 2 and later both of her parents passed away, so she is a true orphan.

[Quesita]

When I heard about this, the first thing I thought of was our own circumstances. Relinquishing a child must be the most difficult thing a parent does. What goes through the minds of the women from rural Guatemala, most of whom don't read or write in any language, and many of whom don't even speak Spanish. Are any of them told "would you like your baby to go to America?" and they say yes, not understanding that it is forever?

I know that most of them understand. They know they can't provide food or education, or medical care, and they know someone else can. They make a painfully hard decision. But I admit, (and I am really sorry for anyone who has gone through it), but I feel good when I hear that a birthmother has changed her mind. I pray that is does not happen to me, but I am glad that it has happened within my agency. I want to know that the birthfamily had the chance to change their minds, and decided to go forward with such a difficult decision.

[tybeemuffin]

Of all of the kids available down there, don't you think Madonna would have made sure that she picked one that was adoptable. I seriously doubt she would have misled the father just to get that particular child, when she could easily have picked a true orphan, that wouldn't have had this issue.

I have seen the televised interview with the father. Unless the translator changed what he was saying, he knew this was an adoption. He did believe that Madonna would bring little David back to visit.

I guess the whole thing is unfortunate for all involved.

[tybeemuffin]

Originally Posted by Quesita

But I admit, (and I am really sorry for anyone who has gone through it), but I feel good when I hear that a birthmother has changed her mind. I pray that is does not happen to me, but I am glad that it has happened within my agency. I want to know that the birthfamily had the chance to change their minds, and decided to go forward with such a difficult decision.

I agree, but this man put his child in an orphange. I don't think he intends to bring the child home with him. It sounds like to me little David would just go back to the orphange if he is not adopted.