[TheresaB]

I don't think we are going to be going through this process with you all. Tears are flowing, but hubby is very concerned with all that is going on in Guatemala. I can't blame him, I think we are all concerned, but the safety issue is big and getting attached to a child and the possibility of not bringing her/him home scares us. What to do??? We can't wait much longer to get these forms signed and sent in, to beat the Hague scare, which puts us between a rock and a hard spot. I have researched this and researched this and honestly feel this is my calling from God, but what to do???? Has anyone else felt like backing out?? I don't want to, but I have to listen to hubby's fears as well and what it might do to our children if we introduce them to a new sibling and something happens and that baby never comes home. I'm soooo upset about this. I was in tears all day yesterday. He finally said "I'll sign them and let's get it going" and actually took the pen, but I couldn't do it until I KNOW his fears are gone. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gdbe]

I understand you are scared. You can choose an agency with an escort option, so you wouldn't have to travel. That would alleviate some of the concerns.

Gail

[PRINCESS1976]

I am sorry this is so hard for you . I guess all we can do in a situation like this is continue to pray for direction from God. It seems there is always some crisis with these countries but we have to try to remain strong for the homeless children.

[Travelkid]

I know this is scary, trust me we are in the last stage of the process and I will not feel 100% secure until my son is in my arms permanently.

Do you have a good agency that will give you straight forward advice? Remember to think long and hard and follow your heart. You will be in my prayers.

[wvamom]

I am so sorry--I know just how you feel. It took me four years to persuade my dh to adopt the first time around, and even then he felt I was pushing him into it. It created a lot of conflict between us, which took a good deal of time to work through.

I will say, I had felt a calling to adopt a baby girl from China, but dh would only agree to Guatemala--well, if he had agreed to adoption sooner, we would have been in the middle of the Hague mess, plus we wouldn't have gotten our beatiful son, who wouldn't have been born yet.

Perhaps another country? Would your dh agree to that?
Carolyn

[TheresaB]

We've actually talked about that possibility, but the wonderful agency we have chosen (had??) really encourages you to travel. I have NO issues with traveling, these things don't scare me at all. I've traveled to other countries that probably aren't the safest, but I am a believer in the "if you are friendly and don't act like you are any more important than anyone else there" you get along fine.

How soon should we be looking at sending this paperwork in to beat this Hague scare???? Do we have a few months to discuss this? I'd like to have plans finalized before Thanksgiving or Christmas.

[LisaDR]

With or without what's going on now there are always fears with the process, will the Birth mother back out, will I get PA etc.... It is a leap of faith for both of you. It was different for me, being single it was only my fears to deal with. As you said you think it is God's calling... you obviously have strong beliefs...... TAKE THE LEAP..... the benefits are unbelievable!

[redru2004]

I think we can all relate to your fears to some degree or another. International adoption is a difficult process even when things are running "smoothly". Take some time and really think this through, if you feel like you are being called to do this then listen to your heart. There are no guaruntees unfortunately, but I know I believe that my son will come home to us, if you can't believe in that then you'll never make it through this. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, this journey is harder than I ever believed it would be, but I've learned a lot about myself, my faith, my marriage and my friendships through it. Know that you're not alone and if every you need to talk, please feel free to PM me.

Amie

[cmfayz]

I understand your concerns. I am concerned as well. There is always a chance with adoption from anywhere that it will fall through. As for the situation in Guatemala right now, I am selective regarding what I tell dh because he is more of a worrier than I am and there is no sense in me causing him to worry unnecessarily.

[kcbailey777]

I am sorry you are going through this. It is a very scary time. However, risks involved in adopting from Guatemala have always been there.

None of us know what will be happening in the coming months or years in Guatemala. However, we do know with God all things are possible. If God is for you who can be against you. Why would God call you to adopt and then dash your dreams. I agree there are risks involved and you will feel pain and anxiety but God will see you through.

God I pray you will open all doors you want open and close all doors you want shut. I pray you will give this couple a clear understanding of Your will for their life and peace about the decisions they make. God I pray they will keep their eyes on You and not the circumstances because we are to walk by faith and not by sight. Amen.

Again I am sorry you are going through such a tough time. I hope you will feel peace about the decision you make.

Lisa

[Guatmom2006]

You will never be able to take all the fears away and EVERYTHING that God calls us to do that means anything is, and should be scary as that is how we grow our faith. I don't have any wise answers except to continue to pray for God's guidance. I have been struggling with my faith lately as well and just this morning looked up "faith" in the concordance in my Bible. Verse after verse we have been instructed by the Word of God to GO FORWARD IN FAITH. I hope this helps in some way.

[brink]

Another thing to consider, depending on how old your children are, is to speak in general terms for awhile. They don't have to know everything, as they wouldn't know everything about a pregnancy, either. Some might hesitate to not include their children in the process. But if you immediately start calling your referal their little brother or sister, of course they are going to bond. If your kids are younger, you can wait awhile to include all the particulars. Or you can remind your kids that until more paperwork is signed in Guatemala, you can't be 100% sure this child will be their sibling...but you can all pray for God to allow it to happen. Maybe that sounds like splitting hairs or just fudging on your terminology, but there are ways to include your kids and also remind them nothing in life is 100% sure. Sometimes we think only good things are good for ourselves and our kids. But sad and difficult things can strengthen us, make us more compassionate people, and accomplish God's will for our lives.

I think it helps us all to remember that nothing in life is certain. But the good things in life are so worth the effort! Hope your hearts are united on this decision very soon.

[Carrie7310]

I was in the same place last year for a different reason. There was serious talk that singles would not be able to adopt going forward so I was in a race against time to get all my paperwork in and accept a referral. In the end, nothing changed and I was able to pick up my daughter at 4.5 months old. There is always a bit of risk, but I would go for it. Things may go better than you think and in the end you will have a wonderful child to love.

I am not sure how things are today, but I felt very safe at the Marriott. I did not leave the hotel with my daughter on my visit, and did minimally at pick up.

Good Luck!

[mombyfaith]

It took me 3 years to convince DH. Everytime I would approach him he would say "are you crazy? Our daughter is valedictorian of her senior class going off to college, our son is going into high school and we have one in elementary school". We are 38 years old!
I would say, "Just pray about it", the whole time praying that the Lord would open his heart to it.
He came to me one day and said "It is time for us to start the process to adopt from Guatemala".
If he had agreed when I was wanting him to, we would not have Chloe today. DH tells me all the time he wishes we could afford another one. Big difference from the man that use to think I was crazy.
Listen to your husband, give him time for all this to blow over and pray for the Lord to open his eyes if it is truly His will.
Don't lose hope!

[Tamiswaiting]

I'm scared, too. We all are to some extent, I'm sure. It's normal, but you and your DH need to follow your heart. You say you want to know his fears are gone, but I doubt his fears will ever leave completely until your baby is home. Only the two of you can decide if you're willing to go through the emotional turmoil to bring your baby home. It's such a personal decision. Look into your hearts and go with what you find. My thoughts are with you both. I hope you find peace with whatever you decide.