[TyAva]

No it's not a retoricle question! I really need some help. Our bio son is 2 years old and I am hoping to get this whining under control before Ava comes home. Any suggestions? He doesn't really throw tantrums it's more an irratating whine that just won't stop! If anything doesn't go his way - and I mean anything - it's fuss fuss fuss! I've tried redirecting him to another activity, timeouts, and taking away toys. HELP!!!

[Guatmom2006]

Have you tried the ignoring thing? My friend has a 3 year old who is making her nuts with this right now, that's what she's trying. She said it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Also, as far back as I can remember, my Mom would tell me "I can't hear you when you whine, if you'd like to speak to me in your big girl voice, I'd be happy to listen."

[NovasMom]

I have a 19 mont old, and she is very well behaved except when it comes to FOOD. You can't even say the following words in our house (food juice, cracker, cookie) without her suddenly begging for those things and screaming if she can't get them. She eats and eats and eats (although she is in the 50th percentile for weight, so she is not overweight)....she seriously eats more in one day than my husband and me put together, and that is no joke! She eats very healthy and filling foods, but if she thinks someone else is eating something that she is not getting, she throws the worst fits. It's NUTS. I seriously get migrained from it, but here is what is starting to work for us.

We all eat at the same time, to avoid situations where we are eating and she is not. Then, after we are done, if she is crying about wanting more or wanting junk food that she is not allowed to have, we simply tell her, "You've had enough, now stop whining." If she continues to whine, we say, "If you do not stop whining, you have to go to time out." If the whining continues, we put her in the living room with her toys and the baby gate up, while we stay in the other room, and we just let her whine until she is done whining. We ignore it, and when she doesn't get what she wants, she eventually stops. Then we ask her if she is ready to join the rest of us again. This is working for us.

[jaambe]

Great question! We've not found the magic answer here either. Pushing us even more than the annoyance is to help our 2 your old develop language as she's delayed here. We've found success in waiting through the whine until she says Papa or a descriptive word that gives us her need. I just stare at her with a dumbfounded look on my face until I get the word. It's taken months! ..... so patience.

[aniles]

My cousin does the greatest thing with her daughter, although she's a bit older than 2. She always gives her choices such as "You can either ask nicely for juice or you can have a time out (or whatever fits - maybe it means leaving the store, stop playing with a toy, leave the park etc.). It usually works pretty good, although she may need to be presented with the choice a couple of times. If the 2nd option is not a time out and she refuses to cooperate, then she gets a time out (1 min. per year of age) where she stands facing the wall quietly for the whole time. My cousin usually stands right there with her until she is done and talks to her about the situation a little once she's calmed down. I was amazed to see this in action - it really works. It probably takes a few times of doing this to show your child you are serious, but it's worth trying. Also, she always talks in a calm, quiet voice, never raises her voice at all.

She also gives her other good choices all the time like "Do you want to eat this or that? or Would you like to wear the pink dress or the yellow dress today". So, she's used to having choices presented to her all the time, not just when she's in trouble.
Good luck!!

[kcbailey777]

My daughter is too young for whining but I have a lot of experience with children. I have a 0% tolerance for whining. I either say stop whining and use your words or speak correctly. If they persist I say I don't listen to whining and ignore them until they stop. The trick is to be consistent. If you give in once you teach the child whining is a way to get what you want.

I wouldn't punish immediatly because it is a natural response and it could just be a habit. If however the child continues after being warned and given a chance to stop I would treat it the same as any other disobedience and give a time out etc...

Good luck,
Lisa

[acjmn4ever]

Just give them a really big colorful sucker! That'll keep 'em busy for hours, then no whinning!

OK, really pick one thing you think will work and be consistant. Different things work for different kids, but consistancy is the key! Good luck! MoMo

[Summer95]

I agree with all the posts so far. I have a two-and-a-half year old son who went through the winning stage and at times still tests my patience. I found ignoring him and leaving the room was the best technique for him. I would tell him that when he is done whinning I will answer his question or talk with him. When he was finished I would go up to him, get to his leave and talk with him. It took awhile for him to catch on, however, with a lot of patience it eventually paid off.

Another thing that worked for me was advice I received from a previous post about red dye. I removed all red dye from my son's diet and I have to tell you that there is a big difference in his behavior. In fact, I didn't realize how bad he reacts to red dye until my dear mother gave him some ice cookies the other day that contained red dye. I don't know how many he ate, however, within 1 hour he was on the floor screaming. He attached himself to me leg and I couldn't calm him down. I had not seen this behavior from him in months. For this reason, I will not give him red dye and now that she witnessed his behavior first hand, I don't think my mother will be either.

Good luck and keep us updated!