[waiting4cristo]

I haven't been posting much since we brought my son home a year ago (although I've of course been keeping tabs on the Lockharts! ), but I need your help if you'll give it! Matty is a laid back good natured kid, but when I need him to take me seriously (i.e., walking toward the road, standing near stairs etc), he LAUGHS AT ME! I put on my meanest face, my deepest, most serious voice and he thinks it's funny. I've tried squeezing his hand, squeezing his arm, etc but he still thinks it's funny and without holding/squeezing harder to the point of what I would consider pain, he WON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

Has anyone else gone through this? WHAT DO I DO????

Thanks in advance for any help you can give.
~Tricia

[SchmennaLeigh]

He's a year and a half?ish?

That goes away at about age 25, I've heard.

I have no advice. My son is only ten months and laughs when we say no as well. *dies* We're in trouble. If you figure it out, share the wisdom!

[dpen6]

Contue what you are doing then physically remove him. He may not be old enough yet to understand and really thinks your playing.

Jenna, eventually they do start to understand and the age is differntt for all of them. But it only lasts a few years....then they REALLY laugh at you....dealing with a mouthy 16 year old...the boys can be as bad but she is much more stubborn....My 24 y.o. is ok tho' he has alwsy been easier

[DPline]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

That goes away at about age 25, I've heard.

Oh gosh, I hope so!!

Keep doing what you are doing. Be consistent and remove him from the situation if it is dangerous, and this too shall pass. You might try keeping it more straight-faced. It could be that he is doing things to get a rise out of you. A simple stern "no, we don't walk in the street" (or whatever) with him being removed from the situation. Followed up by having to go inside, be strapped in the stroller, whatever. A natural consequence of the misbehavior.

If he hasn't discovered it yet, his next trick will probably be loosing all body form and going limp whenever he doesn't want to do what you say/ go where you ask him to go. Now that is a real treat with a 30-40 lb child.

Good luck!!

[waiting4cristo]

Thanks for your help. (And yes, I'm dealing with the "incredibly melting body" - 18 mos., 32 lbs - when he doesn't want to go the direction I'm going. For some reason I have much more patience with this than thinking I'm playing a game.) I'll just keep up with trying to get him to understand and pray that it's an age thing and that he'll grow out of it SOON. It is very frustrating trying to keep a straight face when THIS little face is giggling, smiling, and laughing....

~Tricia

[coatess1]

Just keep him safe and keep having FUN!!!
It goes by so FAST.
He is adorable.

[lifessence]

many times kids will laugh out of sheer nervousness - not even that they think it is funny. only you know your child and can tell the difference. laughter at bad things is a defense mechanism - especially when a child is getting into trouble or afraid.

if it is just him laughing at you - then begin to get him to understand this way before he is almost about to hurt himself.

he needs to know he has to listen to Mom and Dad all of the time - no matter what. i know people are going to say you can't do this with an 18 month old - there are books that say a child as young as 15 months understands NO. yes, they have free will already to choose whether or not they will listen to you. despite what we all want to believe. we want to believe our precious toddler is too sweet to do that on purpose.

you practice this at home until he gets it - you put them through training sessions and there never has to be yelling. we are about to go from a family with 2 children to 5 - can you imagine all the yelling if none of them listened to us. we have been in Guatemala and use this method already with all of our kids but the 9 month old. let's just say our children are very well behaved - stop when Mom or Dad say stop. they are taught to not question - just for the reason you are giving - so that if and when a dangerous situation comes up - you don't have to go explaining to a child why you asked them to stop before they do it. you can always explain afterwards.

if you want to know the book we read PM - you just need to break their will - we just started this method a year ago and our 12 year old faught us at first until she learned they are not giving in - i wish i could show you the difference live! so this can be done at any time - the sooner/younger the better obviously.

i sincerely believe consistency is key and the kids need to be told the rules - and understand them all. when they break a rule they didn't know - you then make it a rule in your family. melting out in public is not tolerated in our home - removed from situation and training begins the minute we arrive in the door. i won't be held hostage by my children in public - if we allow one to get away with that - then everyone sees it and thinks hmmm...Mom didn't really do anything to x,y or z - i'll try this next time or maybe now. no thanks!

we enjoy our children vs being frustrated by them or with them every day. do they test us - yes - but not for very long. our goal and we see it happening - is to raise children with confidence, excellent self-esteem and security in their life. friends and family all comment on the changes they have watched over this past year. i love not yelling anymore. i can't stand a house of yelling - i was yelled at all the time as a child. i never thought it worked but didn't know what to do - time outs and the 1,2.3 system may work for some - but i never saw results that lasted with either of them. still leaves too much room for them not to listen because you are always giving warnings. no warnings - you know the rules immediate consequence - no explanation. works like a charm every time. they apologize and we never bring it up again. done - just like God has so graciously done for me. forgiven and never brought up again.
we never use treats or toys as a bribe for good behavior either. i don't give them candy to keep them quiet. they are expected to be good and quiet when necessary. it is wonderful to teach and watch your children have self control. this truly does give them a huge boost to their self-esteem.

wishing you the strength to not laugh until he can't see you.

[Slatond10]

OMG your son is adorable... I bet it is hard to discipline when that precious smiling face is looking @ you!!! What a cutie pie.

Looks like you have gotten some good advice. My DD is almost 24months and we have passed the hysterically laughter at the "mean" Mom and now I get the tongue and "No" when I want her to do something she does not want to do!... Hmm... Luckily saying " Yes, please!" still gets her to be pretty compliant. As we move further into the "terrible two's" I am sure that the word "please" will lose it's magic power. But I am using it right now!

I also have to remind myself that I am still VERY blessed with a child that is fun to be with and a joy for 95% of the time.

[lifessence]

instead of PM'ing more people.

we use the book by reb bradley Children Training Tips. you will find that the biggest thing is NOT how you choose to correct - just that you break their will to listen to you and NOT question what you say when you say it. when they are old enough and do what you say they can get reasons - until then you are making them an equal which they are not - nor are they prepared to be.

we have found that using a book that goes along with God's word is very helpful and takes the burden off of us in the sense that - we are called to be good parents to God's children. not how we would like to raise them but how He wants them raised. with a loving heart and willing to serve others before satisfying everyone of their own needs. self control in life goes a long way - and helps in all areas of our lives. something i have found is really missing in children today. this is where no respect comes from, etc for their parents, each other, teachers and themselves. i didn't learn this valuable lesson until a year ago...glad i know it now so i can share it with our children as they go into the world - better prepared than unprepared is how we feel!

just my .02

Good luck and if you need help along the way i'm here.
jill

[Mariais5]

He is adorable!! He will start to understand as he gets older... Then, when he hits 12, he will realize that you don't know anything and why was he listening to you all those years?? Our oldest two sons are starting to understand that we aren't old and dopey! They're 18 and 20..

Marcy
Mom of 20, 18, and 13 year old sons who light up my world!

[CurlysGirly]

Here's one that we do with our little bugger that LOVES to not take us seriously....

Instead of saying what you don't want them to do (Don't go into the street!) tell them what you DO want them to do and keep it simple (Feet on the driveway). My son loves music, so I sing song it.

Sometimes we as parents overestimate their vocab and tend to talk too much, using too many words. It is so important to keep it simple.

Don't forget to praise when they are doing what you want them to do. For example, "It makes mommy so happy when you play in the driveway" (thinking to yourself, "instead of running in the street and making me look older and have more grey hair than I need!!"...lol)

[mjoseph]

I was reading this post as I have the same problem at times with my 2 1/2 year old. He thinks mommy's most serious face is funny. I read about the book recommendation someone made in this post and it peaked my interest so I googled it for a review. I found a very disturbing site online about it.
Child Training Tips

I haven't looked at this book and don't know if anyone else has but if anything on that site is true about it, I couldn't imagine that being recommended.

Has anyone else actually looked at this book aside from the person who recommended it?

[truegirl]

I don't know if this appys. But Mia's favorite word is no. DH thinks I am nuts at how much of a stickler I am. But she has only been home for 3 weeks and I do not want her to"get in the habit" of telling me no. So on occasion she will be across the room and I will say Mia come here. She has learned what come here means quickly and follows it regularly, but here lately she will flat out say no..no quire ( no want ) I tell her to come here again,I will say Mia Elaine I do not want to come and get you. She still says no, I go and pick her up and sit her on the couch with me. She will cry and eventually calm down.

DH thinks I am being mean about it, since all I wanted was a hug or a kiss or something small and insignificant. But I keep telling him, "if she will say no to that how am I to respond when she tells me no when I say Miadon't touch that is hot, or Mia stop your about to go in the street." She is legally almost completely blind, she needs to know that anything I ask of her is in her best interest. He is starting to ease up on me and understand and does not interfer. But it kills him to see that pouting crying face. She has him so wrapped. I already have the gonna get what I want and I am hurt faces figured out, he still melts and cuddles with them all...lol.

Okay to end my ramble. I think you are doing what is best. Don't worry about what other people may say, you are doing what is best for your son and have his best interests in mind not yours, well yours too but not primarily. I am sure you are a great mom and have nothing to worry about. He is testing his limits and will continue to do so. Ironically I was just reading an article on turning no into yes in Octobers Parenting Magazine, here is a link to a similar article, the online version, Ending Power Struggles and Arguments With Your Child | Children | Ages & Stages: Parenting?

HTH
Nichole

[lifessence]

MJOSEPH - if you read my posts you can see THE ROD is not needed as you are reading on this link you posted.

take any book out of context and a bunch of people who don't like it and you will get everything you don't want to hear.

i know 100's of people who have used this program successfully all over the country and more in the area where i live.

none of these kids are hurt - they are the most well rounded, polite, caring, giving and adorable children/teens/young adults i have ever been blessed to be around.

so don't knock something you have not read or understand fully.

the only healthy fear out there is of the LORD. outside of that having your children respect you in a way close to that is a good thing.

the overall message of the book is about LOVE, GRACE, FORGIVENESS and teaching your children to respect you first - before themselves to keep themselves out of danger in all areas of their lives.

we do all teaching to our little ones using songs - like barney's clean up song, to positive things only - never what we don't want - lots of praise and more love sometimes than our children would like!

good luck everyone!

[mjoseph]

I simply stated that I found a disturbing link online about the book and asked if anyone else besides the poster has actually read the book. That was all my post said.

I have not read the book nor do I have any desire to read anything that promotes "breaking a child's will". I am not going to share my opinions on here because they are just that, my opinions, and everyone is entitled to their own.

I just caution everyone to research anything recommended, regardless of what it is, to make sure it is right for them.