[cantwait2bmommy]

I hope this isn't a really stupid question, but dh and I already have our son's name picked out (still paperchasing and far from a referral, but have a name...LOL) and I was just wondering, after the dna results are back and the child is for sure coming home with you (at some point) do you? did you? can you? tell the foster mother your child's name and ask her to start calling him that or is that inappropriate? Any experience in this area would be greatly appreciated.

TIA!
Chris

[redru2004]

DH and I had several names picked out that we liked and waited until we got our referral pictures before we chose his name. The day we accepted our son's referral our agency asked for the name we would be calling him and they gave it to the foster mom. Our foster mom has been using our name since. I think it's completely fine to ask her to use your name.

[Mariais5]

We told the FM on our second visit ~ we still hadn't decided for sure on our first visit ~ what we were naming our daughter, and she started calling her by her new name. It was funny because 'Bryce' doesn't translate into spanish, and she had a difficult time saying it.. She kept repeating, 'Bryyyyyce?' 'Brrrrrryce?' 'Bbbbbbbryce?' I'm not sure she liked the name very well, but she did use it because our duaghter knew her name when we picked her up a couple of months later..

[TerriBB]

I'm not sure who named our daughter - but it is not a name that is used in the Guatemalan culture...I've spoken with several people who stay in the country for several months each year. We've asked several times that she be called Flora - but when watching the videos, they are still calling her a shortened name of the "made up" name. (They keep calling her Uri - so I think of Uro Geller the old spoon bender!)

[hannahmelia]

On our first visit we asked the foster mother what does she call him and she said "BABY" (and she said it in english??) but I did ask our coordinator if it would be ok to ask her to call him Luke. She didn't really understand or couldn't say it and then he said LUCAS, and she got that right away. So that is what she calls him. I'm good with that! CLOSE ENOUGH!

[MNStarr]

On our visit trip we learned that the foster mom actually called Olivia by her middle name (Alondra) and not her first name. When we left we did tell her that we planned on calling her Olivia and the way she pronounced it was very similar to what she had been calling her. Because of that we kept her middle name as part of her name now and not her first name which the fostermom didn't use.

[lotterino]

I think it depends on the agency too as far as what they will allow. We did not visit, but sent a package and our coordinator translated a note for the foster mom, and she did call our daughter by the name we chose. She used it when we were on our pick-up trip and that warmed my heart.

[chica_latina]

We asked both FM several times to use the name we were going to pick, but they refused..

Some FMs do and some don't.. I hope it works out for you

[readytobeamommy]

We asked our Foster Mother to call our son by the name we were giving him on our visit trip........she agreed too however she did not pronounce it the same as us and she used a pet name for him a lot. He did react to our given name and not his birth name when we picked him up. He also reacted to the pet name but quickly no longer responded to the pet name after we got home. It can't hurt to ask...........

[Ms.Judi]

I haven't visited my daughter, but my friends did when they were visiting their son and on the video they made for me the FM is using a name that sounds like Christina even though her birth name is Sharon Alexnadra. I had a letter translated and asked the FM to start calling my daughter Elaina and she did right away at least on the video. I hope she is still calling her by the name I picked out because she is almost 9 months old.

[lisam951]

We asked that our dd be called by the name we had picked out for her. We actually didn't pick a name until referral. Then just moved her middle name to her first and gave her a new middle name because we loved her middle name. Since it was part of her birthname, I thought that we would get full cooperation, but nope. They continued to call her Yesenia and not Marisol. So I guess it depends on the person.

[Kaz99]

when we visited our son in the hogar, the director asked us what we are naming him. I am assuming they are calling him by this new name.
We were going to ask, but didn't have to !!

[ManyTimesBlessed]

We have a video where the facilitator is talking to our son (and the FM was in the room) and the facilitator says "You have a new name! You are Jayden now. No mas Victor". But, I don't think the FM is calling him Jayden. In all of the other videos everyone (including the same facilitator!) is calling him Victor. But, in the newest video the FM calls him "Baby" during the whole thing. I thought that was funny. We will probably keep that in mind if Jayden seems to have trouble transitioning to his new name. I guess we have a built-in nickname now (though we should probably change it before he's 12!).

[Saya]

We had a name picked out, but we weren't absolutely sure till we met her on the visit trip that we were going to use it - we wanted to be sure it fit. Once we met her, we knew it was her name, and we asked her FM to use it, which she did gladly! In fact she told us she and her whole family liked it much better then the name she had been given originally. Now that's what they call her everyday.

[LostMangoInParis]

I hate to be contrary but really the baby is not "ours' till the mother has finally relinquished him/her so we have no rights in this matter. Now what if the mother named the child after relatives as in our case and then decided not to proceed with the adoption and finds that the foster mother has been using some outlandish American name? How would she feel?

Plus I'm not sure what signal it sends to the foster mother about Americans. I'd be wondering what was "wrong" with the Guatemalan name...

I know of some adoptees that feel that the loss of their name is another blow. There has been plenty of discussion on this topice elsewhere

Kathy