[adcollins]

Okay, this may be a really dumb question, but we're about to go pick up our daughter (8 months) and I'm starting to obsess about how to foster attachment and to allow her to develop some of the motor skills that she may not have when we get her. I've read on the attachment threads "not to let her feet touch the floor" because we should be wearing her, having skin to skin contact, etc. I'm all for that! We've waited so long for her that nothing would make me happier than to keep her that physically close all the time.

On the other hand, I've read from people that their children at that age weren't able to roll over or sit up independently, because they don't traditionally spend much tummy time on the floor. I suspect she'll need to spend time on the play mat and strengthening her muscles.

How did those of you with experience balance these? I'm guessing that, for attachment purposes, it's okay to spend a fair amount of time on the floor together, interacting, making eye contact, playing together etc, so I guess my question is more about how much time you all spent with floor time, exersaucer time, etc. vs. time wearing them in the sling or carrying them.

Sorry if this is really dumb, but it would help to hear from those of you with experience. Nothing on earth is more important to us than her attachment, but we want to help her develop physically as well.

Thanks,
Anne

[dac_cincy]

Anne,

I am not quite in the same place you are, I visited my son when he was 8 months old and noticed that while he could sit, he did not attend to pull himself up in the crib, or roll over, not did he reach for a toy when it rolled out of his reach and he made no attempt to crawl. I tlaked to my ped and she said that playing down on the floor is encouraged as a bonding practice too, not just carrying them near your skin.

So get down on the floor with your baby and have play time. What is important is that your baby looks to you for comfort, emotional wellbeing, etc. Even newborns are not carried all day, parents spend hours playing with their babies and it all helps.

You might also want to contact your state/county's Early Intervention program and have your child assessed. Here in OH, the program is offered free up to age 5 and then it moves over to your school district if you child needs continuing help once school starts.

I hope this helps,

[ajjhmf]

i think you can find a balance there. I just wouldn't leave the baby on the floor to play alone. If they are down there, get down with them. Let them play with your face. Lots of eye contactadn you can always be toughing their back and legs and arms to promote attachment even when you aren't holding them.

[ps2005]

Some article I read talked about the need to have BOTH play time and holding time, for attachment and for development. In some cases, it might even be easier to maintain some of those attachment skills like eye contact when you are playing on the floor. I have stressed about this, too, but when I started observing my friends with their babies, I can see how much those babies light up when mom is playing, talking, singing to them--even when they are on floor or in a bouncy seat. That helped me feel more secure with the idea of balancing activities.

You are going to do great!
Ashleigh

[adcollins]

Thanks!

Anne

[Julaine]

My youngest had failure to thrive so she spent a lot of her first 4-5 months in a front pack ! The doctor suggested baby massage and simple exercises like bicycle legs and such to keep her on target with motor skills ! I spent a lot of time on the floor with her. She was just slightly delayed gross motor skills wise. But she caught up. I use to lay her on my belly put my arms around her and roll around on the floor to teach her to roll. If your baby comes home and is really delayed I would agree that you look into some Early Intervention. Ohio does have a really good program and I am sure other states do to ! The important thing is that your baby bonds with you. If that is in a front pack , sitting on your lap while watching TV, cosleeping or cobathing or baby massage. What ever works and feels comfortable to you ! You will learn to know your baby and what they need !

[jennandsteve]

I was worried about the same things. I spent TONS of time on the floor with her. As a previous poster said, we rolled around, we tickled, lots of touching and connecting, together, on the floor. Totally serious, my knees were bruised and sore at first. I got used to it! I bet I spent 80% (of nonsleeping time) of my parental leave sitting, kneeling, crawling, laying, on my floor. I had forgotten, until thinking about it now, but she loved to lay on my stomach and I rolled around, she would laugh...

So you can do both.

Jenn

[acjmn4ever]

we did both! When he was playing on the floor, i was right there with him, talking and encouraging him to do things. If I had to get up to make dinner I would pick him up and strap him on! The only thing we didn't do together was shower and go potty!

He is now almost 15mo old and completely bonded and on target! But he didn't reach all his milestones when he was "suposed" to. He would do things in spurts. When we brought him home at 6mo he couldn't do anything. He didn't try to anything untill he was 8mo. He rolled over both ways and sat up on his own all in a week! That is how he developes. He just started walking and climbing about 3 weeks ago and now he is every where!! MoMo

[angelkisses0102]

DS was 8 months and couldn't sit up. Everyone has already said it...but yes just get at her level and have fun. Most *baby* games will really help promote a healthy bond...and as mentioned, just don't leave her there for hours at a time.

One thing we did with DS which is great for eye contact and helping to sit up was I put him on the bed and gently pulled him up toward me...a baby sit up...he loved it and it covered both bases.

We also would put him in his pack n play when we couldn't hold him...like when cooking by the stove. We would just move the whole pack n play into the kitchen...to keep him close and interact with talking and singing. That way he could still see us and work on sitting up then pulling himself up, etc.

All the best...