[kerrib]

I guess I have to admit that I am a little surprised by all of the negative reactions, too. I am single so I don't have the MIL problem, but my family has been very supportive. I had a problem with a friend but that was more out of jealousy - that I would become a mother first - since she is desperate for a baby. She's younger than I am and in a relationship so I'm not sure what the problem is.

My father told me a horror story about a Guat. adoption but it was his way of expressing concern and warning for me than being against the adoption.

[CashCrew]

Kcee...baahahaha! Well mine DID expect me to ask permission before I got busy making bio grandchildren. She got just as upset when we were pregnant with each of them and always wanted to "call a meeting" to discuss this "issue" and then expressed WHY they weren't informed before it "happened". I don't know many 30 yr old biochemists that need to get their parents permission before procreating. LOL They're very controlling people.

[CashCrew]

OH DEAR PetDragon!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE she said that to you....how AWFUL! She sounds EXACTLY like mine!! She waits for dh to be out of the room to stick her knives in. She is evil!

[brink]

I know these comments and attitudes are very hurtful, but honestly gals...you have a way of living above them with your sense of humor! You have me chuckling with some of your responses or ones you'd like to make!

Our families have been supportive each time, but the initial shock of the telling is not something I look forward to. We have seven kids, so I honestly believe sometimes our parents have been concerned how we can manage financially. They don't know our finances, which are obviously healthy or we couldn't have adopted three, going on four internationally. My inlaws are great, but my MIL has been less than enthusiastic with each announcement. Once, FIL expressed joy, only to look over, see MIL's concerned look, and drop the smile from his face. But to be fair, I think she honestly was more concerned if she could be a good grandma to one more. She always thinks she should do more for her grandchildren, so the thought of one more probably overwhelmed her. Our kids adore her. She isn't the "spoil 'em with gifts", go goo-gah over the grandkids type..but she tries to do special things with them. Just having important conversations with them is a blessing. They have their own lives, which we respect and appreciate. We live next door to them, with three other grandchildren nearby. It really is a great situation...not something we could have done with MY family! She does tend to believe her son is perfect and I don't do things the way she did or would, so I think she wonders if I'm able to be a good mother to one more each time. They're turning out, though...so she comes around and loves them once they are here. We just dread telling her each time, which is sad. But we know she will be generous and loving to each one.

We sent our dossier in Dec 2004 for one more from Guatemala. She is nearly 10 now and we're still waiting on DNA...long story. Only our older kids know. Opted not to tell the younger ones yet, didn't want to spread the word until this was more certain and closer. So now we are dreading the telling once more. I'm not going to be there. I suggested an announcement, but DH will tell her in person. Of course there will be that first conversation about it, once she knows. One thing I can tell her is this was the fastest DH ever said "yes" to a child yet. We believe God called us to adopt this young girl. MIL will respect that...eventually.

[Larue]

Holy Cow! Reading these responses makes me so glad my inlaws are German and can't speak a lick of English. Which means we all get along just great

Luckily both of our families have been very supportive, though they don't understand the process and make some pretty interesting comments. My Mom recently asked "why couldn't you just bring her home during the visit trip and sign all the paperwork later?" Gee...why didn't I think of that?! My Dad wants to know if there's someone we can bribe. "Who are these PGN people...don't they know Sabrina needs to be with her family?" Gotta love em

[Guatmom2006]

Laura...you gave me a chuckle...I've had two people in the last week say "can't we just pay someone off or something, it's pretty much done anyway and just waiting for a signature, it's not like that would be unethical to get it at the top of the pile." Hmmmm....I should have asked what their definition of unethical was....but I'm not sure I want to know!

[TerriBB]

I feel so bad for all of you. MY MIL could have a book written about her - she's just odd to everyone - so I'm not singled out! I did have to explain that we are not saving Flora, but she's completing our family.

She physically picked our son apart when he was born...pointing out moles, examining his belly button & telling everyone that he had a dimple like her (she's 100 lbs over weight - she has dimples all over the place!) I'm growing a thick skin for when Flora arrives, she's already looked at the fuzzy picture from the agency - at about 10' away and wanted to know what that scar was on her pointer finger .

My dad has been quiet about the whole event, I guess trying not to get too excited - it's taken about 6 months longer than expected & no end in sight! He does tell all of his friends about her and he's a wonderful grandpa to our son...he plays a lot of Power Rangers with him!

I'm so sorry that you all are going through such tramas!

[PetDragon]

Originally Posted by CashCrew

OH DEAR PetDragon!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE she said that to you....how AWFUL! She sounds EXACTLY like mine!! She waits for dh to be out of the room to stick her knives in. She is evil!

No worries Cashcrew! My Mommy met her not long before our wedding and my sweet wonderful always quiet and respectful Mommy changed from, always be nice to your MIL let hubby handle any problems with her to... Ok, you win sweetheart, if she opens her mouth again I'll never again tell you to hold your tongue!

My MIL is scared of me now because unlike her other DIL's I not only stand up but I do it loudly enough to embaress the living poop out of her!

[CashCrew]

PetDragon, That is SO funny!!! I really need to do that with mine. Usually when she says things like that I'm so shocked (donno why) by it I don't know what to say. Later I always have the best comeback when she's gone. hee hee

[starryeyes]

MIL thought it was a bad idea; we're "too old" (42). Then she was obssessed with asking how much it cost (we didn't answer). Then she's never mentioned it again. Thankfully, she lives aways away.

Most people are supportive, except a few key people in my life that have suprised me. Doesn't matter much, though.

[jeannecr]

I don't have any horror stories to tell, thank goodness. Even family members who I thought would be opposed have been very positive.

And I have to tell you that I have the BEST MIL. She is helping us meet the costs.

Wish I could share her with all of you!!

[jemmawag]

I think my family tries to be supportive they just don't know how. So instead they share horror stories or say it's a scam or ask whats wrong with him. I am sure once he is home they will love him as much as we do and they probably say these things beacause they don't want us to get hurt. I just wish some of them would get a clue.

[GuatMommy2Be]

They handled it fairly well. My SIL has told me that she hopes we will have our "own" children.. It kinda makes me chuckle considering her father is adopted.

Now they are all "happy" to have Kiara come into their lives, but that doesn't mean they don't make some very annoying comments. Yesterday, I was told I am trying to compete with my sisters unborn baby. My mother flipped out when she found out we bought some sale outfits for next summer - She says "You act like she is already here." I was also told not to waste my money buying things for the baby. Ummm I am still scratching my head over this one. If I don't buy bottles, clothes, diapers -- who will??

I told my husband earlier tonight, it truly is ashame that we are adopting while my sister is pregnant. She is a very jealous person, so I can already see the problems arising.

[sld]

Much too our surprise, so far everyone has been excited and supportive. MIL was shocked and still in shock but that wasnt too unusual for her. I think we threw people for a loop because we have been very quiet about the process. Our bio son is 6 and I think people just assumed that we only wanted one child and have even gotten that comment which by the way hurts. We have received some gifts already and that freaks me since the baby is not home yet but really nice. I usually hit people with, "What? I am not Angelina? and DH is not Brad Pitt? " and then make a face like DAH. That usually ends any comments.

[Disneycrazed]

Most everyone was quite supportive. BUT... I have an older cousin who is also my God mother and who is like a 2nd mother to me. Since my mother passed away 5 years ago I was really looking towards her for some motherly support. Well... what I got was her trying to talk me into any country except Guatemala. No matter what I told her about why we decided on Guatemala she had another story of why we should go with another country. Overall she has been supportive but I just don't get the excitement that i was so looking forward to.