[Lalia]

This is our second adoption. Our son is 10 months old, but by the time we travel he will be on the cusp of turning 11 months old. When we brought home our first son, he had just turned 6 months.

Anyway, I'm quite certain the experience of bringing home an older baby is going to be different. Our first son was not unhappy, but he wasn't exactly all smiles and giggles for about 3 months. He never cried on separation. He ate and drank fine. But,he just seemed to exist in our house for the first three months. After that, he has had a smile on his face ever since!

Anyway, I'm just wondering if anybody here has recently brought home their 10-11 month old baby. I'm assuming there will be quite a few here as the PGN delays certainly had MUCH to do with our baby being a bit older, and I'm sure it is the same for many listmates too.
I'm anticipating much crying the first few nights and not much eating....but lots of love.


What has your experience been?

Please share!

[tooskis]

We brought our son home at 13 months and expected the worse. We were really nervous about how he would respond. He has not shown signs of any issues other than his sleep pattern (wakes a lot) and picky food issues (which is probably normal for a child his age). He is very happy and playful and didn't have any meltdowns at the hotel, on the airplane or at home. He just looked very inquisitive for the first few hours and then seemed to adjust. I think we were very blessed. We did go on a visit trip and the FM always pointed to our picture and told him to say night-night to mama & papa every night. Perhaps this helped him to be familiar with us and made the transition less scary for him (?). Anyway, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected so it may be just fine for you! Best to you!

[lmitchem]

Hi,

Our daughter will be 10 months in 2 weeks - (and we aren't in PGN yet) so I too am really interested in others input to your question!! Thanks for posting it.

Lisa

[TerriBB]

Our baby is 10 months today - we're still in PGN. I too would love to hear from some folks! We get photos & videos - we don't have any of her smiling I think we're going to be hunkering down for a wild ride!! (Then again, she may be thinking about all of the delays too!)

[Gabri]

It was a while ago, but for what it's worth...

Our son was 10.5 months when we picked him up. He was very serious and stuck to my husband like glue. His eyes would follow him, and if he left his sight, he would cry and cry... it took longer for him to warm up to me. Before we left Guatemala though someone at the hotel asked to hold him. I handed him over and he immediately twisted around and put his arms out for me. She said (in Spanish), "I guess he knows who is mama is!" I was SO happy. :-)

10.5 months is still very much a baby and what we didn't now at the time is that babies sometimes show stress by sleeping a lot. So, for the first several weeks we *thought* we had a fantastic little sleeper. Once he was used to us (and our house, the new sounds and smells, etc) the 'good sleeping' went away.

His seriousness melted too, and revealed a very, very silly little guy... who is still pretty silly to this day.

Travel went well--we had a baby carrier, which I recommend for the airport. He felt very secure in that, and it helped a ton. I also recommend learning a simple song in Spanish--that was our saving grace the first few days... and I still sing the song to him every night. When nothing else will calm him down, hearing Spanish would almost always do the trick.

You probably already know this, but ask the foster mom how he likes to be held, what comforts him, what his schedule is, what things are in his crib (blankets, toys, etc.), what songs he likes, what TV shows she has on, how she holds him when he drinks his bottle, what foods he has had, etc... and then keep as many things the same for as long as you can. We learned that our son slept with a pillow (I know... scary considering SIDS), but we quickly found that he wouldn't sleep without one. (I put a small one under the sheet so he couldn't get tangled in it.) Because of the SIDS warnings, that something I never would have thought to try.

We also learned that his foster mom listened to Classical music all day long. Another thing I wouldn't have thought to try that also works wonders to this day.

Good luck and congratulations!

[luv2teach2]

I picked up my 11 month daughter 2 weeks ago. So far things have been great. She is happy, always smiling and enjoys being with other people. She sleeps well although the last 2 nights she has woken up crying although last night she seemed to be crying in her sleep. The only problem I have had is with the change of diet and her stomach which we are trying to work on. She just started crawling is and she is having a ball. Have fun and enjoy it, I'm sure things will go well

[romee_1101]

Hello,

I brought my little guy home two weeks ago tomorrow. Honestly, the first two weeks were tough. He didn't sleep or nap well (so neither did I); food was an issue; he didn't smile much and would sometimes have a meltdown. He would pull his hair, and the first couple of days he batted at my face. I would pick him up and he would squirm to be put down so I would. Then he would scream for me to pick him up. He was very confused. He was very attached to his FM and family, and I know that this whole move was a shock for him.

Yesterday it was like he finally turned a corner. He follows me from room to room, wants me to pick him up, is now smiling and giggling more, and sleeping better. I know there will still be few rough spots but yesterday was the first day I actually was not exhausted and I was enjoying being a mommy.

BTW - I am doing a lot of the attachment recommendations - co-sleeping, bathing together, eye contact games, not too much outside contact, many walks in the Ergo around the neighborhood, etc.

Good luck. I am sure it will be fine. Every baby handles the stress differently. Some sleep a lot, some cry a lot, some get sick, some are fussy, etc. You just never know until you get them home.

Lesley
Mateo Andres
DOB 9/18/05
RE 9/26/05
OUT 7/25/06
Home 8/22/06

[slitkey]

We brought our first son home when he was 11 months old. We were matched with him at 6 months old.

He slept great the first night we had him home but then he had sleeping issues for the next 3 months of so (it gradually got better over the next 6-9 months).

He didn't show too much emotion. We could get him to smile once in a while for pictures but that was about it. After being home for a couple months, he really blossomed.

It does take some time - especially with the new surroundings, smells and sounds. Our son is now a happy, healthy 3 1/2 year old.

PS: At the time we were traveling to bring him home (we did not visit him between referral and Embassy appt), we were most worried of what he would think of my husband because we weren't sure if he had been around men before...today...he is such a "papa's boy"! Just one of those silly things we thought about...

[Aimeef]

Terri B,
I wouldn't worry about the not smiling in pistures. Our daughter never smiles in her pictures or videos we get of her. We recently visited her and she was all smiles and cooing. It is like she was a totally different kid. I have heard that culturally they don't usually smile for pictures in Guat. I wondered if they intentionally send the ones where they aren't smiling.
Aimee

[mommy2evan]

We brought our son home at 10 months old and it was great! We had a long run in PGN and were discouraged because we thought we'd miss a lot of his 'firsts', but the Guatemalans tend to 'baby' their children, so my son wasn't even crawling yet. He was smiling right from the beginning when we picked him up.

Sleeping was difficult, but it was all a new experience for him. I suggest doing as much research on adopted children at the age you're bringing your child home at. My husband and I made sure that we were the only ones feeding, changing diapers and bathing our son for the first 2-3 weeks in order to bond with him, and it seemed to work out great. Also, I did research on getting babies to sleep through the night, and after about a month, our son was a great sleeper.

Hope this helps! If anyone wants any more info, feel free to PM me.

[becky716]

We brought our son home at 10 months old. It went much better than expected. The first night, he of course, was scared and cried for a few hours. After that, he has been great. He slept all night once we got him home. It was amazing!
I guess my suggestion would be to expect the worse and hopefully get the best!