[Kaz99]

I am at work in tears.
A woman came by and asked how old our son is and when we will bring him home.
I told her he will be 4 months tomorrow and that we are not sure when he will be home but we are praying for before Christmas.
Then she said...Oh so you are missing all his developments and milestones.

I had no reply that I could say at work.
I am so upset and now feel bad.
Please help me.
I just want to go home, but can't.
Thanks

[HileryS]

I had a similiar comment made to me while we were waiting. I just said, "well we try to not think about what we are missing, but the rest of her life that we will have with her." He sat there and then said, "oh, yes that is right.". People just say off the cuff comments because they want to say something. You are getting your child for the rest of his or her life.

Hilery

[AnasMama]

I am so sorry! That was very insensitive of her. I know I get comments like "She is growing so fast." which are meant to be kind comments, but they still hurt. the "Missing all of her milestones" is not so sensitive... I generally just let the person know that it really hurts me to miss out on all of the events. You can also tell her that there are plenty more milestones that you look forward to sharing with your child.

[devildogwife]

I am so so sorry that she made such an insensitive comment to you. People just don't get it, do they? Although we aren't started on the adoption process yet, I hear many comments about war and with my husband deploying very soon, it's awful! I can sympathize with you in that respect, I wish people would keep their "helpful" comments to themselves. Hang in there.

[Natalie1125]

I am so sorry somebody had the nerve to say this to you. This is something I always struggle with but I try to tell myself if I don't see her crawl for the first time ever it will be the first time for me and it will still be exciting. No matter how many times the baby does something before you get to see him when he does it in front of you it will be new to you and it will be your first and it will be just as exciting.

[Summerbaby06]

I'm sorry, people can be SOOO insensitive. Just remember, he will be home soon, and you will have his whole entire life to share with him. This waiting period is just a tiny blip compared to the rest of his life, and you will witness many, many milestones. And all of his memories will be of you. I know it is hard though

[Mandy4President]

I'm sorry some people are so insensitive. I agree with what everyone else said, just tell her that you have many more that you will see. Either that, or be blunt..."Yes, I've thought of that and it is very upsetting to me. Thanks for bringing it again to my attention." That'd shut her up.

[sheena7112]

She has no sence at all. Blow it off. If someone is really intreasted they wouldnt make that comment. Some people just love drama. You know that isnt true. This is a very short time in the babies life and you have many many years to build your memories. Take care and sending you hugs. Kim

[Guatmom2006]

There are milestones all throughout a child's life and you will be there fore them. Please don't let this person take your whole day away from you. Some people are just dumb. There's just no sugarcoating it. You have the rest of his life.

[ej-momtobe]

Comments like that are what's turning me into a non-social hermit these days. If I don't talk to people, I don't have to listen to their stupid comments

[stillxling]

I am really sorry about that. I know exactly how you feel. Our girls also turn 4 months old next week, and we still haven't even gotten DNA auth. I just try to focus on the fact that the time we WILL get with our children far outweighs the time we don't.

[mildredjohn]

I love Hilery's answer and I would add: by the way your comment is very rude to me I would appreciate if next time you think twice what you would say about our baby.

[angelkisses0102]

I am so sorry...I like to say something that throws that type of comment back to them. Usually something along the lines...

I am sorry, can you please repeat what you just said? Because what I thought I heard was completely insensitive to me and my situation.

[dnedmonds]

Don't let anyone upset you. I've had people tell me how lucky I am not to be pregnant and that getting my son at 9 months is a much better age and that I have missed nothing because when they are babies there is nothing fun about it. Unfortunately, the adoption process DOES take a long time (to us anyways) while the paperwork is getting done, it seems like we are missing everything. Think about how lucky you are to get a child under 12 months. I hope this makes you feel better.

[mommytoEli]

I am so sorry. I feel your frustration. When people say things like this, I want to say, "yes I am B!%@&, thanks for bringing it up." You know, if our baby was in the hospital recovering from an illness for months, no one would have the audicity to make any comments reminding us of how much we were missing out on. The world truly is ignorant when it comes to adoption, how it works, and how it effects families involved. I wish we could all make a public service announcement that would give America a little education on first families, adopted families, and the children and the process involved. Wouldn't that be nice?