[dawneg]

Just curious how people dealt with the first days home with an infant. Did you discourage visitors? Mainly stay home? I suspect we'll be able to tell how to handle this once we see more of Ben's temperament and his initial reactions to us. I've just heard lots of different approaches, ranging from total seclusion to "pass around the baby." I read "Attachment in Adoption," which was great, but didn't really deal with some of the practical first steps (or at least not that I could find) for infants.

Thanks, as ever.

[ej-momtobe]

I have been giving this a lot of thought lately (althought I am still in PGN). I think that by having an open house for people to meet the baby 2-3 weeks after we get home, that will discourage immediate visitors. by 2-3 weeks I (and the baby) should feel settled down enought to handle visitors. I am not basing this on anything I read, just what I think feels right for our situation.

[ilovedanny]

We had about 50 people at the airport when we can home with our son from Bulgaria. We were exhausted but I would not trade the excitement for any thing in this world. It was all caught on video and my son now 4 loves watching it! We did not hang around the airport - just long enough to let everyone meet our angel. I think it helped cut down on visitors at our house also...Good luck on what ever you decide.

God Bless!

[MicheleB]

I have to say, with all three adoptions, we had lots of activity when we came home. We had friends, and family around and had huge welcome home parties. The babies did great! However, that being said, our babies spent the first 4 to 6 months of thier lives in a hogar with lots of activity and lots of babies and people around all the time. My kids were used to it. I may be more worried and may have done it differently if there had been more of a hard transition from a foster mom to us at pick up trip. So, it just depends. Your child will tell you what they can handle and what they can't. Just watch out for how they are handling things. Just my opinion!

[CareBears82]

It may be diffrent with a baby, but when my friend got home with the 3 year old... She was selective of who came over, they came home June 9th. Saturday morning she called and wanted me to come over to meet him and she wanted some help. We did take him shopping the next say but to stores that weren't busy. And he did fine. The end of last month they had a "Welcome home" party for him. Most of the family had met him by that day but it was for the family that didn't, and those that did to celebrate him joining our "family."

[CHARLIECAT]

There were about 20 people at the airport waiting for us when we arrived home. Kassandra did great, she was passed around and gave everyone smiles. We had her big shower/welcome home party two days after we got home and she did great through the entire party. We must have had over 80 people there.
I say let everyone meet her right away if they want. They have been waiting for them as well and probably have been a great source of support for you through the process. Enjoy the memories!

[kacmom1]

Our son was 2 when he came home. We chose to only have our 4 other kids at the airport when we arrived. They next day, the grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and many close friends all stopped by to meet Luca. It was perfectly fine and Luca loved all of the attention. He was shy and clingy, but he did very well and did not seem stressed at all. How could we keep all of these people away??? They were all just as excited as we were!

[devildogwife]

We haven't experienced this yet, but plan to stay pretty secluded until we feel the time is right. Everyone else is just going to have to deal with it.

[A_ROSE024]

Our immediate families met us at the airport, so about 10 people. Then for the next few days people came and went all day long. After a while things calmed down some then we had a big welcome home party with about 75 people 3 weeks after he came home. The baby did great, he loved all the attention. And how could we not let our friends and family around? Afterall, they were all there for us during the process and were very excited to meet the little guy.

[redru2004]

Although we aren't even in FC yet DH and I have talked about this a lot. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to do it, but we really want to take our cues from Lucas. Right now I think we've agreed to let grandparents stop by for a short time to meet our son and then after a few weeks at home, when he's on a schedule a little more adjusted we'll let others come around. I've already prepared my family and friends for it and while they aren't thrilled that they may have to wait, most understand. I guess I don't care in the end, I just want to do what is right for my son.

[iammonikasmom]

We are one of the families that had extreme limited contact. For info though, our first daughter is now diagnosed with Reactive Attachment though I would not have known that when she came home, our second daughter from Guat...well she can handle just about anything, and our 2nd beautie from Guat is a velcro baby, again, would not have known that at pickup and she too would not have done well. I just learned the first time around. It is a very very precious time for you to bond as a family. Each family will ultimately do what is right for him or her. However, signs of attachment do not always hit you in the face when you first get home. Good luck. Nancy

[DD Amasa]

I plan on pretty much having an open house when I get home. I think children are meant to be surrounded by family and activity and noise and chaos, not be isolated. And my family and friends are so happy for me and have been so supportive, I'm looking forward to having them meet him.

[adoptnky]

We've really been talking about this, also. We are also planning on taking our cue from Alex. I'm not sure how we would keep family and friends away! My mom is going with us for pick-up and I know that my dad and my mil and fil will definitely be at the airport.

I do think I'm going to wait a couple of weeks before heading to church with him.

Decisions, decisions - I say read what you can, and then do what feels right for your family.

Kim

[Julaine]

We are at the very beginning of the process but we have already discussed this issue ! I think you need to take your cues from the child and from yourself. My girls and I are somewhat secluded and only like a few people around us at a time so we will probably introduce the child slowly to our friends ! Children often pick up on the parents and families feelings about things as well . Since family is out of town they will just have to wait until the first visit to meet the child ! I know my 15 year old is going to be very overprotective ! She gets upset when people pass their newborns around at church ! Every family is different but a big party with a lot of people sounds very overwhelming to me after the long process and the pick up trip ! I know we have several friends that will be anxious to meet our little one though !

[shoegirl06]

Reading some of these answers has really made me think! Our return flight wouldn't get back in until about 11:30pm, so I doubt a large group would be at the airport (depending if anyone has to work the next day) but we thought about having people come over at appointed times until DD could handle a larger group. Lucky for us, she's in a foster home with 5 tweens/teens and another foster baby, so there's lots of action and love, but we'll see!!