[MNStarr]

We are going to be speaking at a seminar on behalf of our agency in a few weeks. We will be bringing our daughter as well as pictures from our travel to Guatemala. Thinking back when you were just starting out what would you have wanted to know or what would have been helpful coming from another adoptive parent? I'm just trying to get a feel for any questions or concerns they may have. If you had attended a seminar was there anything in particular that you liked or disliked?

[DonnaRack]

Some of the concerns we had when we first started the process was the cost and how we were going to come up with the funds. The other was how long is the process, or when can we expect to have the baby in our arms. We did not attend a seminar, but I imagine getting the reassurance from someone that has been through the process, that they too can make their dream come true, would be very beneficial. Hope this helps.

[KKR213]

I would want to know what the agency response time is for questions.

What is in the medical updates and when can they be expected? Are they just measurements or more info?

How often are pictures sent?

Maybe offer them some tips on dossier prep. Explain the notarization, certification and authentication process.

An explanation of the terms specific to Guatemala would also be helpful. That way they will know what POA, DNA, PA, Previos/KO's, Out and Pink mean.

And if the agency lets you mention the forums. They are a great place for info and support from others going through the same thing.

Good luck with your presentation!

[MNStarr]

Great idea! I think I will bring her referral video and pics to give people an idea of what you have up front. Then I can print off her updated photos that were sent to us. So people see how much or little updates you can have. I know there will be other couples there talking about China and Russia as well, we are covering Guatemala.

[Slatond10]

Hmm... I went to several agency seminars during the initial stages and a couple of them had parents with their children come to talk.

To be honest I could not remember much of what they said except @ one of them the room was in a circle and their beautiful ds from China ran around playing with the toys and interacting with the group. He stole all our hearts. The only other thing I remember was the parents mentioning how their DS and DD loved fruit. ( HAHA... silly things for me to remember)

The seminar itself will provide the details... But what is not discussed in the details is the "emotions." - The good and the bad. The need for support via Forums. Any books you read you could recommend. Discuss the transition phase...etc.

I am sure you will do an AWESOME job! Good luck

[paramom]

I have to agree with what someone up top said. You want to know how to pick an agency that answers questions in a timely manner. Also letting parents know resources so they can educate themselves ahead of time and not go into the adoption blindly. Information on financial resources. Most agencies have the typical grant information and also the tax credit, but if families do not research beforehand, they may think that is the only way to fund the adoption.

[mattecook]

For us it was helpful that we were allowed to ask any and all questions to those who had been through the process and get answers

Be honest and discuss your frustrations, fears and concerns and how the agency helped remedy those

Ami

[DPline]

We did not attend a seminar, but something I wish our agency would have been better about up front is helping us understand the process. Along the lines of what KKR213 said about terms, a copy of the explanation of the process from the Guatadopt site, or the Embassy website or the link to get to them myself would have been so nice to have at the beginning and not six months into it (when I found it myself.)

This probably should be more up to the agency than you, but if you could arrange with them for a handout with the info. and the links for the sites like Guatadopt and here maybe.

[MNStarr]

Sounds like a good idea. I do know that when we attended our seminar they did discuss the dossier and paper work pretty thoroughly but I think once they got to the part of the referral they stopped and picked up again on pick up trip info. So I will try to go over exactly what happens in the time in between. Also will try to focus on the agency itself and how I felt we were handled. They had excellent communication with us and there was always someone there so I really want to highlight that. We were given a handout detailing the cost right up front and the breakdown of when it was due and what it included. Hopefully that will answer most peoples questions but again I may mention that there are fundraiser opportunities out there. Should I talk about what its like once your home, the transition period, or should I focus on the adoption itself? I don't want to overwhelm anyone but think its good to know about post placement reports.

[havensd]

Our agency asked us to to come to their seminar about a month after we came home with our daughter. Most of the couples there had questions about the visit trip and the pickup trip and how the baby adjusted to us in the hotel and then when we brought her home. They didn't have a lot of questions about costs or dossier preparation. Our agency is really good about giving them that kind of information. I think the couples mostly just like to hear the personal stories of how your trip and your bonding process is.

[rlf0504]

Our agency does "waiting family" meetings monthly in addition to their info meetings. We have spoke at a couple. They also have three countries represented.

One thing I always bring up is things we did not take when we travelled that should have and things we took we did not need.

For our family, the importance of incorporating the Guatemalan culture into our family is another thing I bring up.

Our cases were completely different (one took 13 months from referral, the other 4 months, one within the other) and our agency encourages us to speak of that. One pick-up trip went smoothly, the other did not.

One nice thing is we have made some great friends from these meetings.

Have fun with it, but only share what you are comfortable sharing. Do not feel pressured to answer questions you feel are inappropriate. Just swing the answer in a different direction.

Good luck!

Take care,
Rhonda

[lionbird]

Some things that are important to me now, that I didn't know before we got started was: Does my social worker really understand the process in Guatemala? As you know, we become experts while we are waiting, and when my SW didn't know what PGN was, I freaked out. She just kept referring to "the process".

Will there be contact with the foster family?
How often are updates?
At what point are you allowed to visit?
Does this attorney wait for SW interview to take DNA sample?
Can you foster?
That's all I can think of for now.

[Michelle Smiles]

I think taking the referral info you received is a great idea.
The one thing I would want to be reminded of is that international adoption is HARD. The waiting is horrible and the timelines are unpredictable. I was told but need to hear often that setting my own internal deadlines leads to much disappointment when they are repeatedly missed.
I was also very concerned about attachment.
Good luck!

[DPline]

Originally Posted by lionbird

Does my social worker really understand the process in Guatemala? As you know, we become experts while we are waiting, and when my SW didn't know what PGN was, I freaked out. She just kept referring to "the process".

Oh dear! It sounds like we had the same social worker!!

Should I talk about what its like once your home, the transition period, or should I focus on the adoption itself? I don't want to overwhelm anyone but think its good to know about post placement reports.

I don't know if it would get to over whelming, but I think touching on the "after" is important. (And again, something my agency was lacking on.) Maybe just pointing them towards some reading on attachement and bonding with the adopted child?

[cbpwife]

But what is not discussed in the details is the "emotions." - The good and the bad. The need for support via Forums

I think this is important. We are just about a week or so away from homecoming. Some friends gave me a shower last week and it was so very bitter-sweet. There was one other adoptive mom in the room and she understood. It's hard when they are yours, but so far away. It's hard to be 'so happy' in a process that is so 'out of your control'. I'm a pretty rational person AND my son is coming home right around when I expected, but it has been a bad couple of weeks around here - just ask my dh. We can clinically discuss times and documents and 'expectations' but no one really prepares you for the 'tears that come from nowhere'.