[Mandy4President]

Hola everyone. Well, I just gave Addy up about an hour and a half ago. I was doing so well! I was dry eyed and hell bent on not bawling when she left. Well, the fostermom came (who is sososososososo wonderful, like I can't say that enough, she even bought me a present!) and I gave her a bunch of stuff to take for Addy. I was holding Addy and the fostermom and her 14 year old daughter kept reaching out for her face and she kept pulling away a little bit, but I thought it was just because she had just woke up and was still orientating herself. Then they were getting ready to leave and she took her and Addy started crying and reaching out for me. Now I know it was probaby just that she was used to me for the last few days, but it was totally heartbreaking. I just began to bawl and then the fostermom began to cry and so there were three of us (none of which spoke the same language, English, Spanish, and Babble) crying in the lobby hugging. Then I had to push an empty stroller back up to my room. I'm in such limbo right now because now that Addy is gone I just want to get home by my kids and move on with this adoption. I want to get her home.

Thanks for listening to me vent. This computer is slow so instead of posting a lot let me congratulate everyone here on their update pics and movement, the pictures are so cute!

BTW, met some people from the board on this trip, which was awesome.

[DeeVee]

Oh Mandy, I know how you feel! We left Guatemala this past Thursday and when the fostermom left I just felt like my arms were so EMPTY! The trip home will help you focus your mind on other things (like that helps, I know).


Praying that Addy will be home soon!

[CashCrew]

Oh Mandy that has me tearing up as well!!!! Bless your heart!!!!!!!! I cannot even imagine. I told dh that we may as well prepare to homeschool in Guatemala because we're all livin down there! HA JK of course, but I can only imagine how hard it is to give them back.

[nykrissy]

OMG, break my heart Mandy. I feel so sad for you right now. I haven't been able to go on my visit trip yet but I am sure I will feel the same way! Just keep the faith that she will be home in your arms before you know it!!!

[coachmom]

I know...it is soo hard..Knowing that the foster mom loved ours so much helped me though it, but there were tears and tears.. glad you had a great visit and will be praying for safe travels home for you all.
Doretta

[Pipercub]

Praying she is home in your arms forever, very quickly! ++ {{Big Hugs}}

P.S. I accidently addressed you as Mindy on your blog. I really do know you are Mandy! LOL My brain read Mindy's post above mine and got distracted. Sorry!

[chica_latina]

Oh Mandy!

Your post brought tears to my eyes.. I was in your place just a few weeks ago..

It's so hard!

But what a blessing to see, hold, and cuddle your baby..

Hoping you zip through this journey and have her home soon!

[akspudua]

I'm sooo sorry! It sounds so hard...also how wonderful that she enjoyed being with you and you with her!!! And how sweet that her Fostermom was so generous to you!! I hope your adoption progresses quickly!! And soon she will be home.

[devildogwife]

My heart just breaks for you. I hope she's in your arms forever very soon!

[AnasMama]

Ohhhh!!! I am sooo sorry you had to leave your baby. Just feel good, that it is temporary. I wish I could go see my baby! DH is afraid I'll cry too much, which is probably true, because I am crying just thinking of the three of you crying!

[newnan]

Sad for you as well...I know that has to be so hard to do...I will keep you in my prayers....

[Steffie]

Your post brought back so many memories of when I said goodbye to Lucas after our first visit. Walking back to my hotel room with the empty Baby Bjorn was pure torture.

Just try to keep thinking about the day you will bring her home!

[doghouse]

She is NOT gone! You have a very live dream of adoption. For the very feeling you are having, I chose not to visit our baby in Guatemala. I also worry that the foster mother isn't taking good care of our baby. I really have to submit myself to the higher power and let Him be in charge. It will all be over soon and you won't remember what life was like before her.

[jeannecr]

I know how you feel--one month later, my heart is still ripped up. It just can't happen fast enough.

[Mariais5]

I remember so well those trips! I actually made it to the elevator before breaking down on our first visit... It's so hard to leave that little precious baby behind... The pictures sustained me until we were together again... Now that our daughter is home, I can look back on those visits with joy and happiness for having the opportunity to be with her at such a young age... You'll feel that too...