[mcmom]

We got our daughter, Aliya, home about a week ago. She is 15 months and seems to be making the adjustment fabulously so far.

When we picked her up we asked her foster mom about bed/naptimes and how she put her to sleep. She said that she would just cuddle her for a moment or two and then place her in her crib. She would just quietly drift off to sleep in her own bed without a fuss.

She's right. And that's what I have been doing so far for a bedtime routine. She does a great job of putting herself to sleep and is usually happy to go to bed. I had bio kids like this and considered it to be a great blessing. The question I have is this: Am I missing out on some very important bonding/attachment time by not holding/ rocking her to sleep? I hate to ruin a good thing, it's so easy and painless!! But am I being selfish by doing this?

Thanks for your insight!!

[waitingforIsabel]

I think that being able to fall asleep on her own, and happily, is huge. And if this is the routine she has always been used to, keep on if it is working for you. As far as bonding and attachment go,there are lots of other opportunities during the course of the day and as long as you are making time for that- I'd say you were ok. Interested in what others have to say too.

[NeeNee]

I also think it's wonderful that she is able to go to sleep on her own. That's huge!

If you're concerned about bonding and such why not have a time of day where you rock her and sing to her? Just part of your daily routine. That should provide you with the closeness you want and she will love it!

Our little guy loves music. A few times a day I will put on the radio...or he will ask!...and I'll sing to him and we'll dance together. He loves this time. Sometimes it's a slow song and I'll sing it to him and we'll dance and then a fun fast one will come on and we'll be silly together. He laughs and laughs.

Before he goes to bed I do sing to him one quick "Rock a Bye Baby" while I stand in front of his crib holding him. Sometimes he'll ask for another song, by singing in his almost 1 year old way! I'll do it once more...okay, when he's really cute I'll do it two more times...but that's it. Then he's down for nap or night. This whole process takes about five minutes.

I wouldn't worry. Being able to go to sleep by herself is a wonderful thing.

Good luck!

[readytobeamommy]

There are so many other ways to bond other than rocking your baby to sleep and I agree if she is putting herself to sleep then don't upset that.

Face to face interaction

Skin to skin contact

Reading, Singing, Holding her, Rocking her during the day or before bathtime.

Sounds like all is going really well!

[Mom2Isabella]

Our daughter is used to the same thing. Just a few min of cuddle and then lay down and she will go to sleep. Funny is the first week or so I would try to rock her (in my new chair) and she would get fussy and the whole process would take an hour. Well I did not get much info from my foster mom so I did not know this is what she liked. So after a week I decided to let her cry it out (breaking my heart) but to my suprise she went right to sleep.

[mcmom]

Thanks for your replies. Just wanted some educated opinions. Appreciate your ideas!!