[Stace33]

Please don't give up. You are so close, even if it doesn't feel like it. It sounds like you are so stressed that you are making yourself sick. If you feel like you are going to lose it, talk to your doctor about getting something to take the edge off of things. There is nothing wrong with that. It might help your mood to stay a little more even keeled while you are waiting. I know it is hard because I was once there, too. I always hated it when people said you forget about the pain of waiting for your child once they come home, but you do forget. So while that may or may not be comforting now, please know you are not alone.

Take care,
Stacie

[gdbe]

Shay,


Don't give up. It is always hardest near the end. You have a great relationship with your attorney, and god willing, you could be released any day now.

I think this is PGN stress. Waiting and wondering, out or ko.
It is so frustrating, I know. I just got my ko after 10 weeks of waiting. I actually know now that I have at least 3 weeks or more to relax, as I don't expect any news. It doesn't make the waiting any easier, but I am not as glued to my email and the forums.

Maybe get something from your doc to take the edge off. It is entirely possible that in a month or two, you will be down there for pickup. Imagine if you let go now and never got to that point. The baby needs you. Don't let go of your hopes and dreams and the opportunity to give your little one a loving home.

Gail

[Cherrytex]

Originally Posted by shaynadam

My timeline is not half as bad as some people but I am afraid it will get there. I don't handle stress real well and I well like I am taking this out on other friends and family. My DH said he is going to get me an apartment until this is over.....now that is stressed

Shay, please don't give up. You have posted so many times when I have been frustrated & at the end of my tether and you have given my husband and I new hope. We have been in PGN since December and know that our little boy needs us as does your little one need you!
Take a day away from the forums etc just to refresh and regain strength to remain committed to being a mom to your little one.
Thank you so much for all your helpful and insightful posts recently. Hang in there and let HIM take your hand through this difficult journey!

Caroline & Brad

[shaynadam]

Thank you to everyone who has made me realize that Haleigh needs us. I think that is the hardest part of this whole situation, knowing that she is waiting for us. I am going to ask my doctor for some drugs, well maybe that is not the word I should use. I do appreciate everyone's concern. I know I am not the longest or even closest to the longest waiting, but after awhile it all runs together...thank you...Shay

[guatamama]

No matter how long, your baby is yours. She needs you, what else? She will need to wait again for another family.

Hang in there . . . I know it is hard . . . she is waiting for you!

Huge hugs

[laura-jean]

Thanks for your honesty....

It hurts waiting... lots of us have already had our fill of waiting as tried month after month, year after year, to get pregnant too.

Not everyone comes here because of infertility like me but add that to the mix and the whole thing about waiting to be a mom seems like never ending.

Don't give up.... maybe just admitting your tired is what you need.... but don't quit....

Perhaps you are already approved even and are just waiting on a signature, that means your child would already be legally yours if I am not mistaken...that would be very bad for the child if you should stop the adoption. Your child needs a forever family.

You can do this... just pace yourself, look how far you have come...just be careful of what you eat, watch on tv, who you hang out with, etc. right now. Get rest, go for long walks, cuddle your hubby, check caller ID before saying hello. You just need some juice for that battery that is running low..

Oh and don't forget to pray... His strength is made perfect in our weakness...

He cares and so do we....

It's ok... baby will be home soon, keep the faith.

Lauar Jean

[Mindybeth6]

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It will be over someday and she will be home in your arms and this wait will be an afterthought becasue you will be experiencing all the wonderful joys of parenthood. Its hard...I am sure....I dread the PGN wait and I am not close to it yet. But I know that I wil make it through..for my daughter's sake. Many hugs and prayers to you.

[kerrib]

Don't quit. It will all be worth it in the end. That baby needs you!

[LMR]

I think that it is unanimous (sp?)! Do not give up! Your child needs you! I think that the majority of us feel or have felt the same way you are feeling. We are here to support each other!
Do something nice for yourself today. Even though I really can't afford it, I am going to get a pedicure today! Read a good book if you like to read, Janet Evanovich's books are pretty funny! I am reading Full House right now! Or watch stupid-funny movies. "What About Bob" always makes me feel somewhat normal! And it has some good advice, "Baby Steps"! Just some suggestions. We love ya and are praying for you!

Lisa

[coachmom]

Hang in there! Lots of people praying for you!!
Doretta

[SaraAvaandLileesMama]

Everytime I start to give up and want to quit then something finally
happens. God only gives us what we can handle. Sounds like you are
not handling it well, so be looking for that positive news soon!
I know how you feel believe me! I'll say a pray to get you through the
last little leg of this journey!

[gdbe]

Shay,

I'm going to re-respond to this post. I thought of an analogy. It's like a runner doing a marathon, and they hit "the wall". You think you can't do it, but once you get past it, you do get to the finish line. Now mind you- I don't run, except to Target after that last thread , but the concept is well known.

Now, hard cold facts. You are in PGN. Haleigh will soon be yours. If you pulled out now, not only would it leave her in a lurch, but the embassy and PGN might think it odd, and it would cause more paperwork down the road for the next family. I wouldn't lay on the guilt, except I know you can do this and just hang in with me a few more weeks. I'm betting you get out before me.

Your PGN buddy from the 1st week in may,

Gail

[TerriBB]

Oh Shay, you poor thing! I can totally understand where you are...I think about it before dawn, about once a week.


Is there any place you can volunteer for a short while? I've always found when I was the saddest, it was better to do something for someone else! We have a homeless shelter that is great with volunteers they are very organized...I have some friends who go in and sort the donated clothing or read to the children.

I've found that I'm uncomfortable when I'm the center of attention and this whole adoption has me fielding so many questions...it's mentally exhausting. (If you volunteer - the others won't know what you are going through, unless it's your choice to share!)

This process so puts our lives on hold...we didn't go to spring training, like we usually do...and we weren't going to go on vacation, because we thought we would have a new baby! We decided to go out of town for a while to get away from the stress of waiting and the questions!!

Please take care of yourselves, you need each other! This is just the beginning of the wonderful parenting chaos

[ddhuab]

I know it is hard because I am currently going a bit crazy myself. It has helped me not to be on the boards at all, pretty much, since we went into PGN.

I have made wonderful friends here and hope to continue contact with those people, and hope to help answer others' questions in the future, but right now, it is all I can do to check in an read occasionally to support those who are waiting like I am.

I cannot even go into the baby room right now, and I am sure all my friends and relatives are getting antsy waiting on thank you notes from my shower from May... I don't even want to talk to my mother because she will only want to talk about the baby...

So, my best defense has been withdrawal from society... not very healthy, huh? Good news (I guess) is that I have been losing weight.

I am not suggesting I am in a good place right now, but I did want to share that I, too, am depressed... but I can't give up because, really, we are probably almost done. And I just love that little girl.

So I hope that, like me, venting and crying can help you get through some of the pain and frustration of waiting. But really, maybe take a break from the boards.... I am happy for people whose cases are moving, but at the same time, it makes me sad to know that today my baby turned 6 months old... and others have their babies home with less time waiting. That is the way it works, and I know that, but sometimes it is hard....

-D.

[DoraDora]

Shay:

We have handed over control of our lives to a foreign legal system that doesn't work in the way we expect governments to work. The pain and uncertainty of the wait is enough to send anyone over the edge. Giving up is one way to take back control -- but it will just create a different kind of pain in your life. Hang in there and know that you have many forum friends behind you and beside you.