[Waiting4Celeste]

While in GC picking up Celeste, we were made aware that her birthmother could possibly be pregnant again.
We asked our attorney (a friend of the foster mother told us this info and we weren't sure we could trust that it was true) if she knew about it and she said she didn't. We know that her birthmother has placed other children in addition to Celeste.
Our agency's translator emailed me today and said that the attorney mentioned the situation to her and said that we should probably start thinking about gathering docs in case she decides to place this baby. She said we should be prepared in case she decides not to. I emailed back late tonight and asked if our attorney has confirmation that she IS pregnant. She is supposedly due in December. If you notice my timeline below, that is exactly one year after Celeste was born.
I have completly conflicting feelings right now... sad for her, excited about possibly another baby in our family, nervousness - how the heck can I care for TWO babies at once?!, uncertainty - I don't want to get my hopes up and find out it is not true or she decides to keep this baby (which she has every right to do, don't get me wrong)
Anyway - besides the $$ issue of coming up with all that moola a lot sooner than we had planned (we hadn't decided if we were done adopting yet), we are wondering about the paperwork. Here is my list of questions so far:
1 - We originally were approved for TWO children on our I171H. It doesn't expire until March 2007. (although we would need re-fingerprinted) Is it valid for another adoption?
2 - Since she just relinquished recently, with us as the adoptive parents, will that throw up a red flag during the process? Anyone adopt a sibling within a year of the first adoption?
3 - We have to redo all the docs, right? How old can the docs be? We were gathering docs this time last year. (crazy!)

Any other tips, suggestions, advice you can give me - if you have been through this before?

I hope that we can get some sort of confirmation soon. I know our attorney does ultrasounds, so maybe she can do one -?? - to make sure or something. I mean if she decides she wants to pursue adoption. I just hate to do all that paperwork and invest my emotions if it isn't gonna happen.

Thanks for "listening". DH and I have agreed not to say anything to friends or family (other than my cyber friends!) and so I am having a hard time not sharing this with anyone. We are planning to wait until we get the referral - IF we get it. No use in getting their hopes up.

THANKS!

[jaymo]

Hi Cindy,

I have no advice to offer you but if it works out, that would be wonderful! There are things placed in front of us that is NEVER more than we can handle. Things will work out the way they are supposed to
Good Luck!
Maura.

[Waiting4Celeste]

Thanks Maura!
Good advice from a future Mommy of TWINS!

[becky]

You can 'start' the adoption with the same 171H, but if it gets close to expiring before your child is home you will need to reapply (new I600A, new/updated home study,etc.). If the baby isn't due until December, it is unlikely that you would have him/her home before it expires, so keep that in mind.

All paperwork would need to be redone. Nothing should be more than 6 months old when using it for a new adoption, so I would recommend waiting until the fall before I even started collecting new documents. By that time you will have a better feeling about whether this is even going to happen.

I think it is an incredible opportunity to be able to raise siblings and such a gift for your daughter. You are very lucky that you may have such an opportunity!

[jlinberger]

We had a surprise phone call about a sibling in January. We had no idea she was pregnant, and we got called after she was born. We had just completed our son's adoption less than a year before. They are 20 months apart though- our first adoption took 10 months to complete. Anyway, we were shocked, said yes right away and began the entire paper trail again. I would prepare yourself, as said above, that all will need to be redone. But, again, as said above by a program coordinator, don't bother collecting it yet, as it all needs to be current (yes, including your birth certificates, your marriage license, etc.) Just fyi- we also had to have a physical done, notarized, state sealed, etc. for our son.
Prayerfully the right thing will happen, whatever that is!! I kind of liked finding out last minute about our birth sibling because it didn't have me thinking about it while I was bonding and growing with my son. Blessings as you focus on Celeste, balancing that with thinking of a new baby again.

[spidermanteache]

Oh my goodness, Cindy! That is incredible news. I have no advice for you...but I liked the quote from the mommy of twins...that was awesome!! I can't wait to follow this news! For now enjoy your two little ones!

[Slatond10]

I have no advice either ... but what a potential blessing. Hope everything works out the way it should.

[kvondera]

Hi, we are in the same boat. We are waiting for our son's birthmom to deliver any day now. We were told she was due mid April, then mid May, and now we are here on June 21st, and no word of a baby. They claim she is still pregnant, and it is so hard to wait and wait. We had to prepare a whole other dossier, and we are using our original INS approval, hoping that we can finish this next one before it expires. Our son is 13 months old, and we have two daughters that are 5 1/2 yrs old, not bio related, but adopted as well. I think that it is a huge blessing and I can't wait. We don't know what she is having, so it is a big surprise. I am a little nervous too, but I feel like this is something we should do.
I will be posting our referral when it happens. I am so happy that Celeste is home with you and good luck with your new adventure!

[Doggie]

Cindy,

Have you wondered why this woman is giving the children she has had up for adoption? I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I just find it peculiar that giving up more than one child does occur in some cases. Like you stated "We know that her birthmother has placed other children in addition to Celeste." Agan, I'm really not trying to start any controversy on this topic, but why would a woman get pregnant more than once and then give the child up for adoption. It just seems to me like it's almost a business going on down there. I do know for a fact that those women are given money by the attorney/facilitator, compensation money, whatever you want to call it. The fact of the matter is that while some women may have gotten pregnant without planning it, and therefore, cannot afford to raise one more child, that is understandable, if that person already had other children to raise. But the ones that are given up two or more children just seems to me that it's for a financial purpose. I mean, they have to have access to contraceptives, there are public clinics in Guatemala that offer them for free as well as immunization shots for children for free.

I'm also adopting from Guate. but again, I can't help it when I read stories like this one and I start wondering if these multiple pregnancies are not actually planned just for the single purpose of monetary compensation.

Again, I'm not trying to insult or offend anyone here but I just wanted to mention this and I'm also curious to know what other members think about the fact that two or more children are giving up by the same bio. mother.

[Qtredsunfire98]

Doggie,

My sons birthmother has 2 other children older than my son. One of which is with their forever family here in the states.

Who are we to be the ones to judge why they choose to give their children forever homes if they do not have the means to do so. I am sure that there are so many circumstances that are out of their control.

I will forever be greatful to my sons birthmom and I am one of the lucky ones that is in contact with my sons, biological sibling here in the states.

[stephjoel99]

Doggie, contrary to what you write, access to birth control is neither widely available, nor free. These are very poor members of an already poor country. To decide b/w food and condoms is probably a no brainer. It is not for us, in our 1st world country, educations, etc. to judge why they do this (and continue to do this). For you and me, it would probably be a one time thing, then we would be more careful. However we haven't walked a mile in their shoes and I don't think we will ever fully understand the culture and customs because we will view them through the lens of an American, and all the benefits that go along with that.

Just my opinion.

[riaanne]

I do not know about women in 1st world countries being more careful. how about women here who get mulltiple abortions, have multiple babies when they cannot afford the ones they have and apply for additonal aid, have additional children when their first children have been taken from them ad most likely the new child will be too.
I beleive women in guat have multiple children who get placed for adoption for a variety of reasons just as women here get pregnant multiple times when birth control actually is readily available. Whether you agree with the reasons or understand them *whichever country) is another thing. Its not right to judge. If you feel what is happening in Guat is wrong, you should participate in the organizations atht provide education to women to permit them better job oppurtunites (if better jobs are even available) and about birth control.

Doggie- question - if your pbmother turns out to have placed other children would you still take the referral or would taht be supporting something you seem to find wrong?

[jillbee]

Anyone who could see the sad look on our birthmom's beautiful face in the DNA photo would know that this is not a business transaction.

Paz,
Jill

[jlinberger]

from what I understood, they do not have access to free birth control and that there is currently a law possibly going to be passed to make clinics available, as they now are not available. that's just what I thought I read and understood. I think our agency does not use attorney's that give the Birth mother's money, so though we are now adopting a second child from the same birthmother, I don't believe she has ever received a dime. Sweet thing. I pray that she knows her children are in very very very loving homes.

[brink]

I agree we shouldn't judge, but before we get too down on Doggie for the honest questions, I do think it's very much our responsibility as adoptive parents to be aware of what does indeed sometimes go on in the world of adoption, especially in a country with not much of a middle class. I agree that there is probably little access to birth control or education where a lot of these women live. Women do not have the voice or the authority over their own lives as we do in the US. But there were laws put into place in Guatemala at one point to limit the number of children a woman can place for adoption because this was indeed happening. I was told by a national working with Guatemala adoptions for over 25yrs) that this number is two. Women were indeed doing what Doggie suggests. But as bad as that sounds, unless we have lived in such poverty that we couldn't feed the children we already had, it is pretty difficult to judge their motivations. In most cases, it is most probably survival. It's the attorneys who promote this and gain much more financially at the expense of these poor, illiterate women in dire need that I don't respect.

I do think it's naive of us to just assume none of this takes place, to disbelieve that women are coherced and enticed by attorneys with much to gain from US and other country adoption fees. DNA was implemented precisely because women were posing as a child's mother, when quite possibly the child was taken from their birth mother by someone who would gain financially. Child trafficking does take place in many parts of the world, and even in our own country. Sometimes, those who seem to be on "our side", fighting for adoptions to continue as is, are really the ones who gain the most by placing Guatemala's children outside their own country. I'm always a little cautious to cheer and praise everyone who seems to be doing good things for Guatemalan adoptions, wondering if it's always a love for children? When there is so much to be gained? It's just much more complicated than making "forever families". When I imagine attorneys or facilitators scouring the countryside for women who might place their babies for adoption...I've got to stop and consider there is a lot more going on than meets the eye. There is SO much to be gained by attorneys in a country with so many poor, illiterate women, that it's important for us to not always have a quick and easy answer to some of the questions others ask us about our Guatemalan children. This is not to say that there aren't ethical attorneys. I'm hoping there are many! Three of our seven children are from Guatemala...working on our fourth, who will most probably be ten, as our last daughter was upon pick up. So the above is written by a mother of gorgeous Guatemalan children who loves their beautiful country. I just won't have easy, sweet answers for them when they ask about why their birth families couldn't parent them.