[Katelyn's Mom]

I was wondering if anyone can give me their feedback on seeing their child for the first time. Did he or she react well to seeing you (a new face). I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I look very different from everyone in my child's life so far. My fear is that my daughter is going to scream the entire time we are there and on the plane home. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[LisaDR]

If you haven't already send down large close up pictures of your family. I sent down little books who loves baby but also brought down a 5*7 closeup on my visit trip. The baby will warm up to you but that still doesn't mean they won't scream the whole plane ride home.

[waitingforthem]

Hi!
I have blond hair and green eyes. No problems here! Of course, your baby will have to adjust to you-but that is to be expected. Your baby will have times of sadness, when they miss their foster mom, but just love them and hug them and assure them that you are there! Are you able to visit? We visited our son when he was two months old, and then picked up the day before he turned 6 months. He is now about 10 months old, and very well adjusted! He cries, now, when I leave the room!
Good luck!
Sabra

[coski]

I think that you will get a wide variety of answers to your question because every child is so different.


A lot of the reaction will depend on your child's temperment. When we visited our son at 5 months, he screamed himself hoarse for 3 days. We were amazed to hear others that were staying at the Marriott had no problems whatsoever.

When I returned in February, he only screamed for 45 minutes but then would not let me out of his sightline for 2 days -- very hard going to the bathroom when I was by myself. I did meet a lot of people during my 21 day stay at the Marriott and all had a different story about the reaction of their child.

We were not prepared for the worse and were completely overwhelmed the first couple of days and were questioning our decision. I hope that you have a much better transition but just be prepared for a rough couple of days. Please know that after all of the screaming, we have a beautiful little boy who has adjusted very well.

Marcia

PS: I worried myself sick about the plane ride and that was the easiest part of our journey home!

[Katelyn's Mom]

Thank you for your replies. Funny...I have a doctoral degree in Child Development and yet I think my child will go completely crazy when she sees me.

Thank you again for your thoughts!

[jlinberger]

I don't know that it will have anything to do with your coloring, but more potentially just because you are a stranger. As mentioned above, every child is completely different. I think the important part is that you just need to be prepared for the potential of difficulties.

Our son screamed when he was handed to me (he was 10 months old at pick up). Not exactly what I had dreamed of, but i was prepared that he might have a hard time with that. I didn't realize that he might continue to cry and cry for the next two days, but that is what he did. I couldn't put him down- couldn't walk away- he slept on me, totally clung to me and if I wasn't there, he screamed. Wanted nothing to do with DH- in fact- for three months. The transition CAN be hard on kids, or not. Depends. Preparation is key- as best as you can anyway. It was hard. Really really hard. I cried when he was crying. What could I do? He was grieving, confused, etc. I was helpless, tired, frustrated and not having my dream pick up. But- you know what? I was there for him and in the end- he is perfect. His adjustment home took at least a full 6 months, maybe more- but you would never know a thing at this point.
Blessings and its great you are thinking these things through!

[apetry26]

my baby was 4.5 months when I saw her for the very first time. The FM brought her to the hotel covered in a blanket as it was December and cool in Guatemala. When she took off the blanket Arely looked up at me and grinned from ear to ear. I scooped her right up and she never cried- She was the happiest baby I've ever know. I was truely LOVE at first sight for DH and I...

Angie

[Mariais5]

I think the age of the baby plays a major role..

We visited Bryce at 2 1/2 months, and she was fine with us the whole visit.
We visited at 4 1/2 months, and she cried for about 45 minutes when we first took her. She just kept looking back and forth at myself and my daughter, her lip would start to quiver, and she'd cry and sob ~ so sad! She was fine for the rest of the visit though. At that visit, I left a build a bear with our voices in it. Her FM said it was one of her favorite toys. So....
We picked her up at 6 1/2 months, and she adjusted very quickly.. No crying, and after two days, she was reaching for me when she wanted a bottle or to go to sleep...

I think sending pictures of yourself and a voice recording are very beneficial to the babies...

[debenken]

I agree with everyone else - each baby is their own experience! When we went to pick up Zachary, it was an easy transition. We had been there 2 times previously, so we don't know if that played a role, or if he just knew we were meant to be!!

Either way, I think your baby will adjust beautifully - either immediate or not!!

Good luck and God's blessings!!
Debbie

[Tamiswaiting]

This is a great topic and I thank you for bringing it up . I am just getting started in the adoption process and like to gather all the info (good and....difficult) I can.

[Bizzie]

Carson came right to me on our visit trip and seemed to adjust really well, I sent down a photo book with lots of pictures of us and I know that our Foster Mother showed him the book all the time.

I am hoping that when we go back for pick up that he remembers me just as well!

[MicheleB]

We made a collage of photos of our family and had it laminated (8"x11") and our childrens nanny hung them in their cribs. We also sent down those photo albums for babies for each of our children and I know the nannies showed those photos to those babies every day cause when we visited we saw them doing it for other babies. We didn't have any problems with pick up with our babies, we did however have some attachment issues with our middle son about 3 months after coming home. He would scream if I was not with him - this lasted about two weeks total, but we did the best we could to make him feel secure and he finally came out of it.

I think one thing that is really important with these babies we bring home is their routine. Make sure when you pick up to find out what your babies regular routine was with the foster mother or hogar. Don't be in a rush to change his formula, or his bottle type, or his "routine" even you would have it different. The more regularity he(or she) has the easier the transition. Once your baby is home and starts to transition and you feel your baby is feeling secure, then slowly start changing things as and just watch to see how they are adjusting as you go along.

Hope this helps!!

[WVUMom418]

My daughter was 7 months old when we first visited, we visited again on her first birthday and then picked her up at 14 months old. Our first trip she was really quite and just stared at us for the first 1/2 day, after that she really started to warm up and babble and play.

I think that for all kids it's a major transition when we bring them home, not only new faces but new smells, new tastes and new sounds. Everything they have been use to will change and every child will react differently to that change.


When we went for our first visit we carried a photo album (one of those ones for babies that they can chew on) with pictures of us. We also carried a bunny that we had made at the build a bear store, we had included a voice recorder with a message from us. We slept with the bunny for a week before carrying it down so that when we left she would still have something that smelled like us.

[sheena7112]

Hi Missy my name is Kim and I am new to this. Well I am adopting a little boy name spencer and I visited him in May for the first time he was almost 2 months old. I am blond and have brown eyes my husband has the olive skin and dark hair. Well when i picked him up for the first time he smiled really big. My heart melted!! He stayed with us at the Mariott. which was wounderful!! He was the best baby. He only cried when he wanted to eat. He just smiled and staired at me the all the time. It was a great feeling. My husband says it was because I looked different to him. Oh well I loved it and I hope you have the same experence! we are going back July31 threw Aug 3rd. Good luck and have a great time!!

[Katelyn's Mom]

I want to thank everyone again for sharing their experiences. I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best. I think the pictures are a great idea and I am sending them immedatley. Thank you all so much. I wish everyone the best of luck and a quick process!