[Foradoption]

I've seen postings lately regarding toddler/baby safety at home. I've seen postings where people who have mentioned children who have died from being hurt at home. My dh and I, before we had our little girl, went through the house and put locks on cabinets drawers with cleaning supplies, put plugs into the outlets, checked cords on blinds, etc. Lately, I've noticed, that we didn't do as much as what one can do to protect their children. I started to feel almost overwhelmed with the information regarding how our child can be hurt at home. This past week I've gone on a rampage and started strapping tippable furniture to the wall, reorganized items in the garage so paint thinner, etc. was in a cabinet that had a baby proof lock on it, etc. Its like everywhere I look now, I see danger. What makes it worse is my dh doesn't see most of these potential dangers. He's made comments that soon our home will have a bubble around it. This makes it worse for me because I feel as if its all on my shoulers to keep our baby safe. Where do I find a happy medium. Before, I thought our home was relatively safe, but my eyes have been opened, but now are almost overly sensitive and I'm getting on my dh's nerves with all the potential dangers and like I said, he doesn't really get it. Sorry for the long post!

[wvamom]

I think maybe the issue is one of control--we want to be able to keep our kids safe at all times, no matter what. At any rate, I know that feeling--
it can feel like no matter how much you do, it isn't enough. And the truth is, we can't protect our kids from everything.

I know, I have heard terrible stories about kids dying in freakish accidents that the parents could never have anticipated, and the thought scares me as well. How do I keep my kids safe?

But, I think you should trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone else-what is she likely to get into? What are her capabilities? What might they be in the next few months?

The vast majority of kids grow up to be healthy adults, in spite of our mistakes and oversights as parents. It sounds like you are being very conscientious. Kudos to you for trying to do the right thing!

Carolyn

[Twizzlelips]

You sound like me, I even put my knives up on the top shelf in my cabinets..I had done everything I could think of to baby/ toddler proof my home. BAsicly I took all my cleaning supplies moved them upward out of reach and sharp objects. Covered the plugs and put door knob covers on the bathroom doors..

My friend has a knive set right out on her counter top, which drove me absolutly crazy when I visited with my kids..

Just take it alittle bit at a time, try not to get overwhelmed, it will all work out...

I did some of the best baby proofing and still, I cannot belive the some of the stuff my 1st child did, and how he was able to get his little hands on things.

I would put your makeup away tho my little girl got my lipstick and painted her whole face red, then she woke me up to show me how pretty she was, omg I have a picture to this day funny now but scared the beeegeees out of me then..

[riptune2]

I guess I'm the major odd ball out. We babyproofed our home to the extent of protecting the outlets and gates on the steps. Probably a little more than "Basic" proofing. I kinda see it as, I'm home all the time with him and can usually keep an eye on him. We don't watch TV so I can hear everything he does. I figure, I survived growing up in the 70's with a MAJOR lack of rules on safety for children and lived to tell the tale. Whenever I see that DS is getting into the SAME trouble time after time, THAT's when we child proof it. Otherwise, I don't worry too much about it. There is just too much out there that I could be worried about. I'd rather not have my son live in that bubble and let him have fun!


Shannon

[TerriBB]

Maybe make one place really safe. Then, if you need someplace to put your child, when you have to leave the room, you're in good shape.

We brought our son home from the hospital with an inground pool - that wasn't a fence between our house & the cement pond. It was the demise of the previous owner . It was fenced before he could walk, of course. (He didn't walk until the week before his first birthday, didn't crawl much and never attempted to move across the patio to the pool. I did keep a playpen on the patio so I could put him in it, if I was distracted.)

Our son is 3.5 years now. He was really hard on our floor lamps - he wiped out 4! I kept the cleaning fluids locked up, but he much preferred the cabinet with the pots & pans - they still make a lot of noise! Now, I'm sure he wouldn't drink the cleaners, but I wouldn't want them spilled on my wooden kitchen floor . He figured out how to get the plug covers undone at a year, but has never tried to put anything in the sockets. He can't pass door stop without playing with the spring in it...or turning off/on the water faucets outside.

We have a cabinet filled with paperware/picnic stuff - that still has child locks. I hate to clean up all of the stuff

[SisterBear]

I understand what you are saying! DH and I have different ideas on many things, including babyproofing! We put up gates, covered outlets, anchored some tippable furniture, locked up poisons, etc.

The reality is that kids get hurt. Mostly in small ways like falling down and skinning their knees or getting other bumps and bruises. We can do the best we can to protect them and then let go.

Lana

[TerriBB]

Lana
I agree with you, kids get hurt. They usually do it when you've scheduled pictures or you are going to see your in-laws .

Our son fell out of a box on our patio the other day...he was in a "boat" with a friend and she got out - he lost his balanced and cracked his head on the wrought iron fence. HUGE lump...daycare even noticed it . He got stitches because he tripped going up the stairs at daycare. One day he was running on the pool deck with his swim ring - he fell and skidded on his face. (he had icky scabs thoughout our entire vacation - memorialized in all of the photos!

[annaguat]

We do basic baby proofing but also are big on playpens/play yards. We also baby proof a room or area real well so you can put the little one in there if you can not watch them for a moment. Else our little ones are under constant supervision. I find the age that they can bypass all the safety gadgets and climb on and out of everything the most challenging and unsafe. Supervision is really the most safety you can provide. Anna

[DD Amasa]

I agree supervision is really the key. There's only so much you can do to babyproof your home. And even watching them doesn't prevent every accident. If there's nothing in the room they can get hurt on, they'll still manage to trip over their own feet and whack their heads on the floor.

I've never heard of anyone babyproofing the garage before though. That may be going a wee bit overboard. That's one of those rooms a young child just has no business being in without supervision. It would be easier to just put a child proof lock or doorknob. Same thing with cellars.

[jillbee]

We just did the basic stuff: locked cleaning supplies, medicine, put a gate at the top of the stairs, fire extinguishers, smoke/CO detectors.

Honestly, though, you could go crazy with worry just looking at all the stuff they're trying to sell us at Lowe's to keep our little ones safe. Yes, I have heard horrible stories about freak accidents and I do worry about those things. But really, how can we constantly worry about every little thing? Anyone else remember The Undertoad in Garp?

Maybe, just maybe, some of this obsessive worry is misplaced anxiety about our little ones. The process of getting them home. The worry about other kids treating them well. Will he/she get into a good college? The prospect of someone breaking my kid's heart is just unbearable....it would be easier for me intellectually to focus on toilet seat locks...something that I can control. When in reality a greater and more likely danger to our kids is heart disease and type II diabetes. I can't ban Legos in the house until all kids are over the age of 5.

The basics of home safety is great, but more important is good supervison. Really though, we've all worked so hard to get our kids home I doubt any of us will actually quit holding them in their first five years! Okay, that said, it's late and past my bedtime...I am going to go check on my sleeping kids.

Paz,
Jill

[Foradoption]

Thank you guys. You've all made me feel better! I think it is one of those things where if you don't take advantage of every baby safe item they are selling out there and your kid gets hurt, you want to just kick yourself. As far as the garage, I don't let her alone in there unsupervised and she really has no business being in there except to get one of her outside toys. My concern, don't tell dh, is that he'll take her out, be doing something like grabbing some hoses or something and not really paying attention. This is where I put all the chemicals, etc. in a cabinet so they weren't easily in reach. I have emphasized this with my dh though. I've told him to keep her out of the garage as much as possible because there's too much to play with that you can't really keep them from like garden tractors, saws, etc.

Okay, I will take a deep breath now!!!

[cerca]

We also did the best basic child proofing we could and if we saw one of our kids do something dangerous we would change it. I have 2 big time dare devils.

I don't think you can prevent everything and after one bad time with my kids a friend gave me the following advice:

God protects children AND mommies the first time. I know there are horrible stories about kids that get really hurt the first time but I have seen this happen more than once with my friends that the first time a really dangerous things happens the kid is fine...the mommy needs a Valium!

Everyone makes mistakes and you can't beat yourself up for it..easier said than done.

Jess

[csw]

When I was in Antigua, fostering..I asked my husband to start child proofing..he didn't do one thing the whole time I was gone..ugh..

She wasn't sleeping well at all..and my mother would come over for 2 hours and instead of being able to sleep I would have to childproof. I didn't have time to do it ahead of time, working up to 90 hours a week to pay for the adoption and..going to Guatemala 4x in 9.5 months etc..

He said we didn't need to cover the outlets, didn't see why we needed cabinet locks etc..this coming from a Dad with a son with severe ADHD who had 3 broken arms by age 7 and tried to climb up his dressor as a toddler and it toppled over and almost killed him..you think he would understand why I bought the furniture bolts for the nursery bookcase and dresser..

Anyways..I got everything done I could. Luckily, our daughter is 10 million times better than our son at not getting into everything she see's..she is very active..but has never tried to pull anything off the shelves in the garage etc..good thing..I put all the garage stuff in a locked cabinet out there and my husband not only doesn't remember to lock it..he leaves the anti freeze, motor oil etc..right on the garage floor where she can get to it...with a Masters Degree in Engineering..you would think he could understand the connection and not do it..
Also when he brings groceries in he puts the household cleaners on the floor in the laundry room..when I have told him a million times to store it on top of the dryer or freezer in there..he always leaves it on the floor..
I also have a teenager, so between my husband and teenage son I am lucky Ana hasn't gotten into any trouble yet..I am still very diligent about not leaving things around etc..
One thing alot of people forget..is don't leave a bucket outside with water in it..and always store them upside down so no rain water will get in..toddlers are very top heavy and some have drowned from falling into buckets of water not even that deep..

Also..don't let them near the dishwasher powdered soap..one toddler stuck his wet finger in the dispenser then licked it and got 3rd degree burns in his esophagus..and make sure all the knives point down..another incident I heard of where the sharp knives were pointing up and the toddler fell right onto one..

Remember a baby gate at the top of the steps has to be a screw in kind..not one that is tension mounted..

Always know where your child is before you back up your vehicle..we just had an incident close by where a 18 month old boy was killed by his dads SUV..though in this case he thought the boy was inside with the mother and was pulling his vehicle forward in the driveway and ran him over..

It can be overwhelming..just do one thing at a time..don't panic and it will be fine!