[poppy]

Need your thoughts on which, if any, all or none, of my kids to take with us for visit and pick up trip. Since we have to have passports, I've been trying to decide who we should take on each trip. Let me start by saying we have 4 children at home. They are: boy 11, boy 9, girl 5, and boy 2. We are going to adopt probably 2 little girls .... we are praying for an infant and about a 3 yo.

Ideally I would take all of them on both trips if the Lord provided the money but so far that has not happened. ( not to say it won't) But if we have to split it up would you: Take all on the same trip and none on the other trip? which trip would be best for kids?
Would you take the older kids vs. youngest? Not take the 2 yo at all? They all would like to go but if the money isn't there would you take just one or two and not the others?

What have you guys done? How have your other kids felt about going or not going?

[TyAva]

We are planning to take our 2 yo with us for at least the visit trip...we'll see how that goes before we decide about the p/u trip! I would love to hear what the experienced people say. I think it could be a wonderful family time and I hope that all of your kids get to go and experience this! Good luck!

[lifessence]

we took our girls with us for our first visit trip. we are going back in two weeks and only taking our youngest 3.5. we are not set on whether we will take either of them with us for the p/u trip. we feel it was important for them to have been there for the first trip as this is a major life event for our family. we wanted the girls to feel like they are part of the process. they both were so glad they went. our oldest is not thrilled to be missing the next trip but understands she can't miss anymore school. if we are blessed with going again befor the p/u trip both girls will come again.

i would say go with what feels right for you and your family. our experiences are not right or wrong - it is what worked for each of us. having your children there can be a blessing if your adopted child is struggling with being away from the foster family. our boys loved seeing our girls and enjoyed being read to by them, playing with them, swimming and just listening to them talk to us. our oldest son was fascinated with our 11.5 year old. it was sweet to watch him watch her. for us those memories were worth the extra money, extra bags in the airport, the extra room and all the other things that come with traveling with children.

good luck on making your decision and enjoy your visit!

[ej-momtobe]

Keep in mind that I don't have kids, but I do have opinions about travel....split the kids into 2 trips. it seems like it would be easier to do a side trip with the oldest 2 that they would appreciate and remember without having the younger ones there. Then when you go with the younger ones, you sidetrip can be something more simple like the zoo.

you know your family best, and hopefully by thinking through the options and discussing them, you will be drawn to the perfect solution.

[Truthdefenders]

Kaila,

We also wanted to take our kids (We have 3) on at least one trip. But, because of cost, we have decided to only take our oldest son on the visit trip. He is 14 and is not too thrilled with getting a sister, so we thought it might be good for him to meet her alone at first, without the other kids. Also, we thought he would be old enough to truly grasp the poverty in Guatemala (and that might stir up his compassion for his new sister).

We chose the visit trip, because we can buy our tickets in advance, therefore getting a better price. Also, kids passports only last 5 years, and we thought he might be able to use it again for a mission trip in the next couple of years. So, that's our story. I hope the Lord provides for all of you to go at least once. I think it would be such a great experience.

[dlwcfp1]

I don't have any children yet but I do come from a very close knit family with 2 older siblings.

How would you decide who to take and who to leave behind without appearing to play favorites? I guess you could make it into a game like drawing numbers or something.

My vote would be to have the entire family meet the baby all at the same time. The experience will not be the same on the second trip. The level of excitement just won't be the same.

Good luck!

[auntiepippi]

For our visit trip, I am planning on leaving all 3 home with auntie because I hear you cannot leave the hotel with the baby. For the pick up trip, I asked my children is they wanted to go. As it stands now, my 7 yo daughter wants to go and my 10 yo son wants to stay with his cousins. I probably will not take my youngest son, who will be about 18 months at pick up time (he wouldn't remember the trip anyway and he may have a better time with his cousins). Like others said, it depends on your family's situation and preferences...

[brink]

I probably have a different opinion than most I have ever read on this subject. First off, we now have seven kids. On our first pickup trip, we only had four to leave at home. We would never have felt right about choosing one or two over the others, even if some had opted in and some opted out. Later, the ones at home might have suffered quite the jealousy over not having shared that time with us. Cost would have also been a factor. Secondly, with four already at home, we felt it was very important that our new son bond first with DH and I, that we have time to get to know each other as parents and child before introducing more personalities into the mix. He needed to know first to look to us. Yes, the other kids would have distracted him and possibly kept him from sad times. But those sad times were necessary anyway and would have happened at some point.

I liken the time in country alone with the child to the time at the hospital with the newborn. Some make that time also a joyous family time, but I always enjoyed the time getting to know our newborn and marveling together as a couple over God's blessings of a new child in our lives. On that first pick up trip, we traveled with another family also picking up their child from the same orphanage. They took their two teenagers. We witnessed their new daughter bonding with her new sister and choosing her over the new mom. The new mom was obviously struggling with this. That memory is vivid in my mind. As much as it might have helped the child, the issues it probably caused later for the family and especially the new mom would have been difficult for me to handle. On our next two pick ups, we again chose to have this be a very special and important time of bonding for the three of us. In our situation, once the new child is home, it's more difficult to find time to be alone with just one child.

My recommendation for you is to consider what you want the trip to accomplish, how you envision it, what is important for you and DH and for your other children. There isn't a right or wrong answer. You will make the right decision and be happy you did!

[Mariais5]

Our 10 year old daughter went with us on the first visit trip. She and I went alone on our second visit trip. We took all (3 boys and daughter) on our pick up trip because I wanted the boys to see Guatemala. They are all avid fishermen, along with dh, and they wanted to do some deepsea fishing in Guatemala.. It worked out perfectly for us. Dh and the boys came home early while our daughter stayed with me to do the Embassy appointment. This was the best plan for our family. While the boys love Bryce to pieces, our daughter is much more involved in the day to day care of Bryce ~ totally her choice! She LOVES her baby sister, and I think the visits gave them a chance to bond.

Also, our daughter was a tremendous help to me getting through customs with the baby. I'm not sure I could have managed with a younger child and the baby.. Just getting through the metal detectors is a pain..

If we adopt again, we will probably take both girls on the visit trip and I will go alone on the pick up trip ~ or our oldest daughter will go with me again.. Once was enough for the boys ~ you know teenagers!