[Foradoption]

We're in the process of adopting from Guatemala and are thinking about maybe about adopting two at the same time. We already have a toddler at home, so I don't know if this is taking on too much at one time. What key factors did any of you use to determine if you're ready to go from one to three or even none to two at one time? There's a part of me that wants three kids and then there's that part of me when you're running around, doing a dozen errands with one child getting in and out of the car seat and I think, "two at the max". What kinds of things do you try not to attempt with more than two kids? i.e., don't do errands, etc.

Thanks!

[kacmom1]

I have 5 kids...and I am constantly on the go. My kids are all older now...13,11,8,6,and 3. But there was a time when I had several in car seats and lots of errands to do. And, yes, there are times when it's crazy and hectic and stressful. BUT... I wouldn't trade any of it for the world! I think you just have to allow a little extra time, make it an adventure and just go with the flow! If there are things that I didn't want to do with a bunch of kids tagging along, I'd wait until after dinner when my husband was home, and I'd go grocery shopping, or to the mall...or whatever. My kids are growing up so quickly and I hate it! Don't wish away those days of having little ones and getting them in and out of carseats, chasing them through stores and calming tantrums! Before long, they'll be grown and gone off to college! YIKES!

[NJRach]

I haven't adopted two children at the same time, but I have noticed some things with friends of ours in terms of spacing in years of siblings.

One of dh and my best friends have three girls all within two years of each other. They had a 1 yr old, then found out they were having twins. The girls are all very close and its nice that they are all friends with each other's friends. They share clothes and are in many of the same activities. I think they will always be close. And they all went off to kindergarten in rapid succession, their parents were past the diaper and preschool stage pretty quickly.

But, there were some days when my friend (their mom) was at her wit's end. Since all three are girls and into the same interests at the same time, they have to be vocal to be noticed individually. Some days they would be at my house and I'd notice a crowd mentality. A rumble would build into a riot, and they all be shouting over each over and screeching. That's when my friend said it happens often and it's very frustrating.

So, there is good and bad. As for me, I have a girl and boy, 3 yrs apart. They get along and there is nothing to be competitive about. But some days my daughter goes off with her friends, or is locked in her room singing Broadway tunes, and my son is in his room playing with his Legos or his friends. They get along, but don't seem to have that connection, they're not as close as my friend's girls.

[ncmom24]

I have four children. My daughters are 11, 8, and 7 and it was a huge change to go from 2 kids to three but not a huge difference to go from 3 to 4.

When there was two my husband could handle both and I could head out for some peace and quiet but with three he was really overwhelmed (forget that I did it ALL the time but that is another topic). With two you could each be "in charge" of a child at events but once you are outnumbered you start to get the feeling of being a herd dog just trying to keep everyone moving in the same direction. That being said, I also would not change a thing. What was chaos in their toddler/preschool years is a tight sister bond now. 90% of the time I LOVE being the mom of 4 and the other 10% I pretend I do.

I do think adopting two at the same time would present its own challenges as you try to help three kids cope with a huge change in their lives.

Good Luck.

Tiersa

[my2boops]

I have two boys at home right now and we're getting ready to adopt a baby girl. Both my hubby and I are only children, so our parents are of no help with advice! I'm getting a little scared thinking of how we'll be able to handle it all. However, for us it's meant to be!

Do what you feel is right!

[JanelleD]

Well, I have 5 that are aged 10 and under and at one point 4 of them were all 4 and under. I do everything with my children, they basically go everywhere I go. It might take some effort on your part to get organized and also to teach them what is expected of them behavior wise when you go out, but it's completely doable. My children are always with me (I homeschool) and they are a joy to be with (ok...most of the time ). Even when they were younger, I would take all of them with me, even when I wanted to go out to eat during the day (at a restaurant) and dh wasn't available. People would usually look at me like I was crazy (they still do).

I love that my children are all somewhat close in age, they all play together so well (again....most of the time ).

If you adopt 2 at once it will be hectic and crazy at first, but you will adjust. You will be exhausted at the end of the night but you will fall into bed with a smile on your face (most nights), thinking of how blessed you are.

Blessings,

[laura-jean]

I have a toddler at home and we are waiting for BC and Pink on a 7 and 1/2 month old and started the adoption for another 7 and 1/2 month old in March.

Can't say I am an expert but I see many good families at church who have 8 and 10 children and seem happy and well cared for.

I am assuming that it will be alot of work like another poster said esp. in the beginning but when I lay my head down on the pillow I will have a smile.

I am also assuming they will be great friends. There will be 18 mos apart from the first to the 2nd and 3rd.

God laid it on our hearts to adopt in this order so we are resting in His grace to get us through and He is faithful.

Best wishes in your decision,

Laura Jean

[annaguat]

My thoughts, three was my least favorite number. Go from one to two and then from two to four. After that it doesn't matter. Anna

[resabelle]

We adopted two children at one time, being first time parents. So, we went from no children to having a four month old baby and an 18 month old toddler all in one day (they came home together). That being said, it seemed right to us. I want to say it was hard, but it really wasn't. I knew from day one that these little girls were ours and "mommy" kicked in very quick. I did feel a sense of "urgency" about everything for quite some time, but I am not sure that would have been different with just one child. My girls are fourteen months apart and there are times when it is very hard... potty training when one is ready and the other is not... bottles and sippy cups... explaining to your older toddler that she is a big girl when she sees Sissy getting a bottle. But, these are all normal. The wonderful part is that I have a 3yo and an almost 2yo and they are very close. They always have a play mate and I love their ages and their ages differences. Please PM if you have specific questions.

[riaanne]

I just brought our child (9 months) home and had a 4 yo at home. the adjustment for both is difficult and lack of sleep for everyone is prevelant. The 4 yo has to get used to not having 100% attention and doing things for herself and tayht her new BB does not automatically love her like she loves him The baby has to get used to me, our dh, our dd and dog. The time change (with dayligt savings on top of it) and start atatching. As a parent i have to learn to parent two children at one time, both needy for different reasopns and differnt things but at the same time. Now trying to attach to two babies with a toddler would be very difficult in my opinion.
I personally would not bring two home at a time with a toddler in the house. I am not against having children close in age or more then 2 children, I just do not know how you would do it. I would go back in a year for the second if you wanted 3 children. be fair to yourself, your toddler and new child and let everyone develop their relationships JMO for what its worth