[dianneemily]

I just felt the need to post this. Sorry it is so long. Katy has been home since 9/04. She was 8.5 months old at the time and I believe had been co-sleeping, but I am not sure. Anyway, probably THE hardest thing we have dealt with since she came home is sleep. She was a terrible sleeper from day 1. We started by rocking her to sleep and then lying her down. She would go to sleep, but then wake up and "need us" to get back to sleep. Then we got to the point that didn't work, so we would put her in her crib and rub her belly while she drank milk until she went to sleep. This worked for awhile (with her still getting up throughout the night), but eventually that stopped working and we got to a point where she only went to sleep if she was in bed with us. We would then carry her to her bed, but she would wake up at night and need to come back in.
This was not working for us at all. She was up until 10-10:30pm and I couldn't remember the last time we actually slept for more than 3-4 hours without her waking. We knew something had to change, for her sake and ours.

So, I read the Healthy Sleep Habits, happy Child book and although I didn't really like or agree with all of it, I decided to incorporate some of the techniques. About 4 weeks ago we started. I put her to bed very early (7pm), rubbed her belly for a few minutes while I read her a book, gave her a cup of milk and left the room. Yes, she cried, hard. She cried on and off for almost 2 hours, about killed me, but I did it. She woke up in the middle of the night. I did get up and give her a cup of milk (she was used to this), but I didn't hold her or let her come to our bed. She cried about 30 minutes. The next few nights were tough. She didn't want to put on pj's because she knew it meant bedtime. It was all I could do to wrestle her into them and put her in bed. But, it got better, she only cried 15-30 minutes those next few nights, and when she woke up in the middle of the night, she only cried a couple minutes and went back to sleep. Now, I am so happy to say that she actually goes to bed easily now. She actually reaches for her bed when she is tired. We have a great ritual of rubbing her belly and reading the same two books, giving kisses and leaving. She sleeps through the night, too. It is great and I would have never guessed it would happen. I was sure our daughter was an exception to all sleep techniques out there, but it did work. Now, I know many people don't agree with letting your child "cry" to sleep, believe me I understand, I was one of them. But, she had been home 1.5 years, was 27 months old and I feel she was really being hurt by her lack of sleep, so I was desperate to try something else.

Just wanted to give some hope to those still struggling, I hope you find something that works for your family.

Happy sleeping

[MNStarr]

I think its a good that you found something that works for you and your child. While I am not a supporter of letting children CIO that is your choice. Olivia still has some difficulty going to sleep, now wether thats abandonment issues or just typical 6 month old I don't know. What we have been doing is when she cries in the cosleeper next to our bed we try to comfort her by rubbing her head, tummy, will pick her up and rock her but not walk around and leave the room and then try laying her back down. So far this has been working. I think each child is different but always look for what other parents have been doing.

[JohnnaMJH]

That is great, I am so happy for you! Thanks for sharing. Good luck with adoption #2! Are you going to Guatemala again?

[dianneemily]

Yes, we are going to Guatemala again. Thanks for asking. We are waiting for our fingerprint appointment for INS.

We are just so better now that Katy's sleep is under control. We felt so out of control, and I am sure she did, too.

I definitely agree that each child is different, and different approaches work for different children. I was always amazed when I heard that parents could actually just put their kiddos to bed and they went to sleep. I did not want to let her cry it out. That's why it took 1.5 years to get to that point. But, it did work for us and I am not sure anything else would have, believe me, we tried everything! Plus, I felt as she was getting older and older, it was getting harder and harder to establish a good sleep habit. Maybe that isn't correct, but it was certainly my fear, especially with a new baby hopefully coming home soon and plans for them to share a room.

Happily sleeping mommy,

[kellykamp2004]

Whooooooo hooooo Dianne!!! (and your little sweetie!)

[dianneemily]

Thanks Kelly, and thanks for suggesting the book. Life is good!!!

[Suzeb1]

Thanks for posting. I'm co-sleeping with my dd and it's working well for us now, but I anticipate wanting to transition her to her bed sometime in the next year (she is 12 months old now) I've never been a big CIO fan for myself so I understand your reluctance to go that route; and I'm glad to hear of your success. When the time comes, I'll remember your post!

Susan
mommy to a baby who loves company; awake or asleep!

[parents2be]

Thanks for posting this. I still have to sleep with Alex and he is 3. I am going to try something soon cause I would like to sleep in my own bed again!!
I might try some of your techniques. Wish me luck!
I don't like the thought of him crying either but this has gone on a long time now.
Pam

[saranbr]

While I started out in opposition to letting my baby cry herself to sleep, it sure worked well for us as well. It was my pediatrician who told me it never hurt a healthy kid to scream, not even an adopted one. She screamed well over an hour the first go-around and progressively less after that. She now goes to bed awake (naps and night) and happy, falls asleep on her own, rarely wakes up before an appropriate time and even then is easy to put back down. The first week was VERY hard but sure worth the effort.