[drjeanne]

Here we are at day 67...still waiting for preapproval from the embassy. On Thurs, March 30th, we found out through our senator's office that the embassy is issuing an I72 (request for more information). They don't have the signature of our birthmother's father. Apparently they have to have the birthmother's birth cert because she's underage (17 in our case) and if both her parents are on there then they both have to sign that it's okay that she gives her baby away. Well we only had her mother sign and not her father. We don't know why this wasn't found out earlier or where it should have been found out? In fact, our agency director didn't even know the father was on the birth cert at all!!!! Is anyone familiar with the processing of a case involving a minor? Does anyone know where this signature should have been done that could have kept us from waiting this long? and is getting this signature sooner the standard procedure in this type of case? Any information would be helpful!

Thanks everyone and I hope your cases are proceeding quickly!
J

[kauai2k]

bumping for you, and praying for you.

diane

[tooskis]

Hi Jeanne,

I thought we were the only ones experiencing minor birthmother problems! We have had a lot of problems due to the minor status.

Unfortunately, I can't address your issues because we didn't have problems with the minor status until we hit PGN. PGN asked for the birth grandmother's husband to sign off since the birth grandmother had a different last name than the birthmother. What PGN wouldn't understand, however, was that the man the grandmother was married to was NOT the birthmother's father and also had died 20 years ago. Though not the birthmother's father, PGN still required the grandmother's deceased husband's relinquishment signature or a death certificate. Of course, they couldn't find the death certificate so they had to get a certified statement of death signed by the town's mayor. They had to go back and get the statement three separate times because they kept issuing the statement with errors (wrong name, wrong age). FINALLY, they accepted the death certificate (took about 6 weeks) and now PGN passed us off to Minor's Court so that the birthmother can go in for her 2nd relinquishment interview. (I don't know if you are aware but as of 1/1/06, if a case enters PGN with a minor birthmother, the birthmother has to go to Minor's Court for a 2nd interview. This is a separate interview from what was done in FC.) Believe it or not, we experienced problems in Minor's Court as well. The day the birthmother was scheduled for her interview, there was no longer a psychologist on staff to perform the interview. A new psychologist is now on staff and we are waiting to see if the interview can be completed this week. After the interview is completed, we go back into PGN for final approval.

The minor birthmother status has really caused us extra stress and has signficantly delayed our case. I don't say this to scare you; however, you should know that this is normal and has happened to others. Hang in there! Though upsetting, we wouldn't have wanted any other child than our little guy. We would have accepted this referral no matter what but we wish our agency better prepared us for some of the issues associated with minor birthmother cases. Perhaps addressing this issue now, will help your agency and the attorney be better prepared once you enter PGN.

I hope your issue is resolved soon! I feel for you!!!

Dee
Waiting on our son Chase DOB 7-9-05

[drjeanne]

Thanks Dee and Diane and those who pm'd me! It's nice to know someone cares!!!

We knew our birthmother was underage but, were not prepared at all for any sort of delays! From what we've read on this forum, we knew she would have to go back to minor's court once in PGN. What really burns me is this..... I have a copy of our birthmother's birth cert and her mother and father are clearly listed on it. Is it not standard procedure to have both her parent's sign off on this ? Did our lawyer and agency not know we would receive an I72 because the birthGRANDfather didn't sign? It seems like that our attorney/agency should have known he needs to sign off but, maybe I'm incorrect in assuming that? Maybe the grandfather couldn't sign until an I72 was issued for whatever reason????? I feel really let down!

Thanks for listening! Hopefully tomorrow will bring good news!
J

[LostMangoInParis]

Hi

I'm just surprised no-one else has had this problem or knows more about it as I'd have thought there would have been a lot of children born to minors and someone here would know more about the grandfather issue

I'm curious too about the grandfather issues in case I get a referral with a minor mother.

[rrrajan]

we have a minor birth mom.

as you can see from our timeline, we have had some significant delays.

these delays have been due to the fact that three signatures have been required on all documents (**, her mother and father). i do know that the attorney has gotten both grandparents to sign all documents; what has held it up is that, of course, now we are dealing with three people and they all have their own lives they are leading--so appointments had to be scheduled around the grandfather's work, the grandmother's out of town family obligations, etc. they all three needed studio photos for dna authorization (a january requirement this year). Plus they live far from GC.

we are supposed to have dna taken tomorrow; i do know that our lawyer had them (all 3) sign the POA and some other documents ahead of time. hopefully this will help later.

i was told that PGN investigations (i am not talking about the extra interview in minor's court) are much more frequent with minor birth moms. i was also told that these occur most commonly in this case when there are any discrepancies between the birth mom's desire for putting their baby up for adoption and the grandparent's desires. it may be helpful to have all three signatures on board to help avoid this, but there is, of course, no guarantee.

i know for family court they interviewed all three; i just hope and pray there were no discrepancies during that interview!!

hoping and praying for us all, hang in there :-)

[LostMangoInParis]

rrrajan - thanks for sharing.

Did you need the three signatures before the DNA test was done do you know? Did the Embassy issue an I72 (hope this is right document) to ask for the 3 signatures or did your agency know upfront about what was required so it all went smoothly.

The reason I ask is that one agency I was talking to did not seem to be aware of the grandfather being involved and I wonder at what stage was it dealt with by yours. Do you think your attorney knew enough about the process to submit info on all three from the start or did he wait to be asked.

Still surprised there aren' t more comments from those who had minor birthmothers. Or maybe you weren't aware of any holdups 'cos your attornies had it figured out from the start. I'm wondering how drjeanne's agency could be so unaware of what goes on.

any more comments out there?

[rrrajan]

i am not sure about the attorney--if he knew from the start about needing all three signatures. he is an older attorney so i would think so, but, on the other hand, requirements change down there constantly so who really knows.

anyhow, we had a conference call with our attorney, set up by our agency, last friday. he did not speak english but our facilitator there interpreted for us--our agency director and our soc worker/local contact were also on the line. anyway, he just said that getting the dna auth was more difficult because of the requirement changes--every time they needed to do something new, he had to arrange for the three people to sign/be photo'd etc around their schedules.

i do know he said he had the final POA signed ahead of time (you can do this--that way the ** doesn't sign off at the end again, it is already done).

but i also do not know if one of the times he submitted for DNA auth if he was turned away b/c of no signature by the grandfather.

it is hard, you have to simply trust the judgment and expertise of your lawyer. i recommend asking your agency for answers. i continually press for them; they don't, unfortunately, always have them, but they are kind and openy answer what they can. this is important to maintain trust and to relieve your anxiety.

i would ask your agency if you can speak with the lawyer--this helped us. i don 't know if all agencies or lawyers are open to this, but it is worth a shot. the hardest thing about this process is the not knowing and the loss of control. so frustrating when we want our babies home.

best of luck

[LostMangoInParis]

Thanks Jen. I'm just trying to prepare myself and I've talked to the odd agency and read a load of posts and it seems like speaking to the attorney is a big no-no! I don't know what the problem would be as you'd think by having a three-way call initiated by the agency would stop the client harassing the attorney or facilitator and yet help all concerned to know what is going on.

I was looking at drjeannes timescale and yours and it seems like the minot birthmother thing is a real problem timewise. It is equally apparent that some agencies share more readily and are better prepared than say the one in drjeanne's case. Looks like at least yours is trying to help!

Kathy

[drjeanne]

Thanks for your information and your interest! It sure would have been nice to know the complications that having an underage birthmother brings BEFORE we accepted our referral! I may have thought twice about starting it but, I do love my daughter and wouldn't want any other child! I guess I'm going to be in this for a long haul!

If, however, my agency happens to be correct and the lawyer they have so much faith in is right too...then I will sing their praises from the highest mountaintops!

Take care and hope everyone is getting some good news today!
Jeanne

[rrrajan]

kathy,

you could ask your agency to ask the lawyer if he/she'd be open to talking to you. my agency was familiar with this lawyer; they had told me he would be open to speaking, and once we started becoming frustrated they suggested it and of course we took them up on it.

minor birthmoms take longer; i don't think they ALWAYS have to take significantly longer as every case if of course different.

good luck!

[delaware1]

I don't have any extra information, but I'll chime in here and say that if attorneys/facillitators and agencies are going to offer referrals, they should really be making sure the paperwork is in order from the start.
-Kathleen

[jennifervan]

We have a minor mother of the baby. In family court an interview was done with both the mother and her parents. Then the case went to PGN in Dec. but we had a second interview of the mother of the baby and her parents. The case was send back to our reviewer in PGN who kicked it into investigation. We do not have any information on why. The only thing we can think of is that there was a discrepancy or the person who did the interview misinterpreted a discrepancy. We do not know. The mother of our baby turns 18 in Oct. so if we are still in investigation there is a chance she can make a decision then because she will not be a minor anymore.
I hope to find out more information this week.
I hope that your cases are not held up like ours has been. It has been very difficult.

Jennifer

[LostMangoInParis]

I agree Kathleen but it seems like some people I've spoken with did not realise the implications of their mother being a minor at the time of referral or if they did they were not aware of any delay that might be involved. The agency did not tell them of any problems. Now I realise things change but I'm only talking of the last 3 or 4 months

I wonder if some agencies deliberately hide the fact that a minor birth mother will or can have serious implications on the timeline. I'm thinking here of the OP, drjeanne, who seems to have had a really long wait for preapproval.

It seems to me like some agencies dodge the issues?
Kathy

[rrrajan]

my agency informed me that the ** was a minor before we accepted the referral. that being said, i don't think i was quite aware of all the possible snafus. i was informed it could take longer; problem is, i don't think the agencies can tell you for sure that it will. i guess b/c they can never give you a guarantee of speed of process even if the ** is not a minor.

it is important, however, to ensure that the potential adoptive parents are aware that their case has a significantly, statistically, higher chance of taking longer than other non-minor cases.

my SIL adopted about 6 months ago a nearly 18 month old. they were panicked about potential bonding issues. however, their little girl did great! she has bonded completely and is the sweetest little thing. so, when i watch the clock ticking and days passing, i think of her and realize no matter what, it will be okay.

best of luck