[csw]

Hi
I normally get along well with my husbands mother..she just turned 80 and we had all gone down to FL to give her a party with around 50 people..she has made some 'interesting' comments in the past..but I generally blow things off..partly because of her age and out of respect etc..here are a few things she said this past week..

To our teenager..."you were so well behaved at the party, we were shocked" (like he is a juvenile delinquent or something) and..every single elderly person at the party she introduced to our son..she said.."This is my adopted grandson"

Our son has LD's and has an IEP and does the best he can in school..we are actually so proud of him that he is mainstreamed in a regular classroom and is passing all but 1 subject (he has severe ADHD, processing deficits etc) and she kept saying things to him like "your Uncle always wanted to look at the girls instead of study" or "you need to do better"....

Then, our 33 month old daughter was throwing a ping pong ball around (they live in a condo that has a rec. room with table tennis) and we told her to stop throwing it in the house..she didn't listen, so she got a time out. During her 2-3 minute 'stay' in the chair..she stuck her tongue out as us a couple of times..mind you..she was off her schedule, was tired, had eaten several pieces of chocholate that the in-laws leave all around their condo etc..When her timeout was up, she did the sign for sorry, then was fine and never tried to throw it again etc..

When we were getting ready to leave, my MIL said.."Don't worry Ana, we know you are a good girl, its your parents fault you acted that way" Excuse me?

She made several other nasty comments directed to me personally..that I won't go into..but suffice to say, we are not spending almost 2 grand to go to FL to see them and throw her a big party again! Ugh..

I know I should just let it all go..

[KellyMigoya]

So sorry about your mother-in-law. My MIL lives an ocean away and only speaks Spanish so we get along great. HeHe!!!!!

[Tudu]

I can relate. My GMIL approached me at a party in front of 50+ people and tried to humiliate me. She said, "I can't believe how fat you let yourself get. You need to do something now before you make the kids and your husband fat, too. It is such a shame, you were so pretty." I could see everyone out of the corner of my eye ducking and leaving the room. I leaned over and quietly asked her if she realized how big and ugly her wrinkles were on such a small evil woman. I smiled and walked away. I refuse to go to her home, she can't figure out why.

[beachdreams]

HUGS coming at you. I have no advice. NONE. I feel your pain though and hope the cyber hug helps.


I am someone who just received a "certified letter" from her in laws. Or rather, my husband received one. What sane person sends a certified letter to a family member. Granted we do not have a relationship with them but that has never stopped them from calling, leaving notes, mailing letters or even stalking us so why a certified letter?

BTW, our lack of relationship is based on many many good reasons and at hubby's request not mine because I would never require/request such since it is his family (however I am not arguing ).

In the letter she spent one whole paragraph explaining how sad it was that they were the only grandparents to not receive gifts on grandparents day...........so basically she wants a gift??? My parents never received gifts for grandparents day.

Sorry did not mean to hijack this thread but really just wanted to show that you are not alone. The best thing you can do, after throwing a mini tantrum (whether public or private), is to continue holding your head up and try to ignore her jabs. Chanting "red-rum" also seems to help.

[Anne1377]

Hi Cathy!!

Next year come to Annie's birthday party instead and I promise that we won't make any nasty comments!!
I am sorry that you had to endure this on your vacation. Sometimes my MIL will make comments that make me raise my eyebrows as well. Usually I just walk away.

I am soooo loooking forward to seeing you all again in April. Let's start planning!!! Are we getting together here, there, or in between????

Diane

[Clare'sMom]

I'm Glad she lives far away and is old....

I'm so sorry for all of you with terrible MIL & FIL's. I never got to meet my MIL she died when my Husband was a boy, I heard she was a really nice lady.... My FIL, God Rest His Soul, on the other hand was a real poop! We get along fine now..oops did I say that out-loud? He would have had a screaming fit if he knew we adopted. Thankfully WE WILL NEVER Be like Them!!!!! Ann

[DesertMom]

I'm sorry you and your children especially had to put up with her childish behavior. I DEFINITELY know what it's like to have a MIL from ****. Just get it out of your system. Your kids have probably figured out that she's kind of nuts by now. I hope you feel better in a couple of days.

[rickyloca1999]

You are definitely not alone. My MIL always makes nasty comments and I am sure she will wonder why they won't be babysitting. The night before our wedding at the rehearsal dinner she didn't even say hello when I said hello to her. I can go on and on about what she has said to me and my family. Oh and what gets me is that she is constantly buying our daughter clothes that don't fit her and convienently takes the tags off so we can't return them. Oh and last year she told my husband what she wanted for Mother's Day basically asking for a gift. Hang in there! Hold your head up. She's not worth one ounce of energy.

[jojobear]

CSW,
Just be glad your mother in law does not live close enough to you that she can just "drop in " when in the neighborhood.

Not a pretty site. Seems there are a lot of us that are in the same boat.

Jody

[riptune2]

Fortunately, my MIL lives "across the pond" so we don't see that half of the family very often. The whole family is great that way!! I have to deal with the same comments from MY OWN MOTHER!! I hear all the time how I need to lose weight (this coming from someone that not only Taught me my dieting skills but could also do well by shedding a few LBS.), how fortunate we are to have adopted a Guat that LOOKS WHITE (whatEVER). I feel for all of you. I talk to my mom almost daily and it's painful every time!!

Shannon

[ej-momtobe]

Originally Posted by csw

Hi
..

I know I should just let it all go..

Not so fast...could your DH mention to her sometime that these comments bothered both of you? It doesn't create a good situation for anyone if you are dreading visiting her again for fear that she will make offensive comments. At least give her a shot at trying to be more sensitive.
You are probably going to see her many more times, and maybe her attitude/comments are something she can adjust if she knows it is causing a problem for you.

sorry you had to endure this.

[hprusia0414]

Originally Posted by beachdreams

Chanting "red-rum" also seems to help.

Ha, ha! I have no MIL issues to report, but am enjoying reading about them (sorry).

[Amykk]

Uggh - inlaw problems are tough. I don't blame you for being very offended.

[TyAva]

I agree that if it really bothers you maybe your husband should say something. Being old isn't an excuse to be mean! After 6 years of snide/rude comments my dh finally had to have a talk with his parents about their hurtful behavior and it seems to have worked...so far (it's only been 2 months, so I'm skeptical to say the least!!!)